It was quiet.
So quiet almost as if I was the only living person in this world. I looked up at the transparent skies,and asked myself was it necessary for me to go to school?
" Such a nuisance "
I mumbled under my breath.
I felt my hair flutter with the light breeze swirling through the air.
I continued walking the slope sidewalk to school alone like I always did.
If you ask why....
I didn't need friends,they would stab your back with a knife anyways.
I didn't need a social life,if I keep a low profile for 2 more years in high school I'll be free, that's what I want, that's my goal.
Midway on the slope to school, a tall student was just gazing at the skies.
"Happiness" he mumbled
"Huh?" He wasn't talking to me was he? Maybe he was speaking to himself,in this world were two different people existence and non existence.
"When I look at these skies I feel happiness."
Huh? The student turned his body facing me and our eyes meet.
"There just skies."
"Just skies?No your wrong,they're just like us humans they have emotions too believe or not."
"Sometimes skies hid there emotions just like humans do" The student said smiling gently.
Who is this guy?Emotions?The skies?Hidden?I look up once more at the skies.
"I don't feel it,I don't feel anything"
His smiled disappeared after I said that and I knew I had just ruined his day by saying that,that's why I distance myself from people.
"Maybe it's because you locked away your emotions and hidden from the world"
"Excuse me but are you ok?" The student walked closer to me.
"Your face its red"
When I touched my face with my fingers it was warm like coffee with milk.
He's staring at me.
I ran away from the tall student with assertive lines about the skies.
"Ahh..." I caught my breath as I reached school,who was that guy? Who does he think he is saying I hid my emotions!
Well I kinda do but that's not the case?!
"Maybe it's because you locked away your emotions,and hidden from the world."
His sentence,was repeating in my mind like some lyrics in a song.I wonder why my heart reacted that way.Goddamn it!Just thinking about it pisses me off but maybe he was right.
Ew no way! What the hell am I thinking, it's not like I'll see him again anyways?!
Just think positive Esme at least your heart isn't beating really fast and your safe and sound in class.
"Study for your midterms,I leave you some study sheets upon this desk if you wish to succeed in your exam take one and learn more from it."The teacher leaves the room as the bell ranged.
"This sucks,especially me in a test!"
"It's annoying who made the rule to make students do test 1 week before break!" Some students were talking in hallway as I passed to walk upstairs , I looked at the sheet they're were so many formulas for algebraic expressions.
A crowd of students were outside my English class for some apparent reason.It didn't bother me I shrugged,and made my way through into class.
My seat was in the back next to the windows,the only reason I sat there was mainly for the heater and for the view from outside.
"What feeling?I still feel nothing when I look at these blank skies"
It was the beginning of spring,the clouds were white like snow, the skies were blue like the summer night while the trees began growing and blooming their flowers.
I sighed what was happiness in this world ?
When was the last time I felt happy.
"Esme make sure to water that flower pot over there"
A memory,a small memory of when I was a child played in my mind like a movie scene.
"Esme,are you ok ?Why are you crying darling?"
"It didn't grow ,the flower, it didn't grow"
"Maybe it's because we just planted it yesterday "
"But I want it to grow now grandpa!"
He patted my head , his hand were warm.
"Esme, we must be patient with things.Sometimes flowers who take the longest to grow,come out the most beautiful"He smiled.
"Is that so?"I looked at the flower pot and nodded my head.
"You'll grow if I'm patient right?Like Grandpa says right?"
The movie ended there.
Was that really the only time I felt happiness ?
"Hey isn't he a model?"
"He's in this school ?"
"Guys come on now,he's not a model he's just a new student"
A bunch of girls were gossiping about something two seats away from me.
"Yeah,he's taller than Eric!"The girl blushed.
I wonder why it looks so simple to trust people and gain friends.
Either people are stupid or ignorant.
"Yeah,he so handsome he looks French!"the girls began to giggle.
I turned my head away, and stopped eavesdropping into their nonsense.
Are those the things I hid ?
The classroom door slides open, the teacher walked in as all the student outside ran in to sit in an instant.
"Is everyone properly seated"
The students all nodded there heads.
"Now, I will like to introduce you to our newest student Lance Leroy"
The door slides open again, a tall student with blonde hair walked in.
The room went silent for a moment,and in a instance it broke out into whispers.
Lance gazed around the room,and then he stopped and our eyes meet again.
The weird feeling from before was starting again!
"Lance, please sit anywhere"The teacher says as he turns and starts writing on the chalkboard.
Lance was walking my direction still staring at me with his green vibrant eyes.
"Hey Lance sit with me!"shouted a student from across the room.He stopped and smiles at the students direction and walks over there.
Thank god I thought I was gonna die from a heart attack.
But somehow, his smile was refreshing to see.
"Class please work with a partner on pages 36-40 in the ELA textbook!"The teacher placed down the chalk and turns, all the directions were written on the board.
"Hey Leroy wanna be my partner?"
"Lance let's be partners !"
"I asked him first?!"
The students in the class were arguing over partnership with Lance.Lance was still smiling but then he stopped and looked at my way.
I turned my head quickly,why was I staring at him!When Lance looks at me its like he stares at my goddamn soul.
That word he said earlier was diving into my head like a bunch of knives.
"Miss.Sato working alone again I see?"The teacher was standing right in front of my desk.
I nodded my head and took out my textbook while the teacher stared and then turns around.
"Esme Sato requires a partner"exclaimed the teacher outloud,the whole class looked at my direction.
"There goes my goal" I mumbled
I placed my head on my desk,hoping that the class would just return to the way it was.
"I'll work with her"
Footsteps walking towards me.
Tap tap tap!
That's all I could hear with my head still down on my desk, who would want to ruin their social life to work with a non existing person like me?
"May I sit here?"
I raised my head to see a pale girl with glasses.
She lightly pulls a seat next to my desk and the class goes to the way it originally was.
"Do you get any of this?"
"Huh are you talking to me?"
"Uh yeah, you're the only one next to me"she smiled.
"I guess so" I looked away from her,I didn't know what to say.
Lance was still looking at me and I see him say something under his breath
"Are you scared ?"
Is that what he said?Scared?
I don't know why I'm scared and why am I even looking at him!
Why is he talking to me were on different planets!
This whole day and still haven't gotten over on what he said!!!
I'm just so...
I shouted, everyone looked at my direction again.
"Miss Sato ?"
The teacher was surprised
What did I just do?
I stood up from my chair and ran out of the class.
Up the stairs I went,the only place where I felt solitude was the schools roof,the only place where I could be alone was the roof.
I broke open the door,and sat somewhere.The wind blew was I shove my face down to my knees.
"Why am I acting this way?"
"Why am I feeling these emotions?"
"I want them to disappear!"
I looked up to see a black marble hovering in front of me.
"What the hell is that?"I stared at the marble and then rubbed my eyes to see if I was hallucinating.
But no,it was real!
"Emotions?Disappear?" The marble voice resembled mine but why?
"What are you ?"
The marble spoke just like me I was confused.
Emotions?Disappear? Whatever I said or it said I hated those words the most!I was so tired of this whole day!
"Accepted" the marble began to crack.
A black light came out the marble and began to grow bigger and bigger.
"Emotions"the light spoke and hands formed out of the dark light.
I stood up and turned to run but the hand stretched towards my ankle.
"LET GO OF ME!"
"SOMEONE HELP ME!"
At that moment, many warm spots of sunshine appeared and there I saw vibrant eyes that turned blank,the sound of a weapon being thrown made me anxious.
"Are you ok?"
"Is it gone?"
"Try opening your eyes again first"
I opened my eyes to see Lance , and on the other side there stood some kind of creature with bloody colored eyes.
"WHAT IS THAT!"
"Emotions!"the creature shouted with rage.
"It's called a sin welcome to the world of insanity Esme."