“Yes ma’am.” I said then bowed my head and looked down at my toes in shame.
After about 30 seconds of silence, all the while trying to figure out what to say, her hands softened but her stare was even more intense; she was boring holes into the depths of my soul “You’d better start talking to me, boy. My patience is running out…”
“Yes ma’am. Uhm, I ran away from the cops. They were all over the place, so I ran. I don’t know why they were after me.”
“Is that all, are you sure? You ain’t leaving nuthin out now is you boy?”
“No ma’am.” I lied.
Millie looked straight thru me with her probing eyes; she was undressing me right then and there, and I knew it, and she knew it, and she knew I knew it.
Quickly, I shook my head no and then looked away. She turned my face back to where we were once again looking deeply into each others’ eyes. “Nuthin? Are you absolutely sure?”
“No, ma’am. I mean yes, I’m sure.”
“Momma, let him be.” Wayne said softly from the doorway. I tried looking over to him but Millie held my face firmly in her hands, and then, just like that she released me.
I looked down at the floor and then slowly and shakily stood up. Wayne walked over and pulled my hand into his. Together we reached for Millie’s hand but she pushed us away and got up on her own accord, “And don’t you dare sass me none, boy. Joey is lying to me. I can see it. I saw that shit in his hair. I wasn’t borned yesterday, now was I?!!”
“No ma’am.” Wayne said apologetically. He continued, “No momma. Let me and Joey talk for a little while. He’ll do the right thing. He always has.”
“You mark my word, boy, both of you’in young’ins, Jesus do love boys who squeal with each other, but he will GIT you for lying, so help me He will. Until you tell me the whole damned truth – if those pohhhlice show back up while you are here, you are theirs, do you understand me?”
“Yes, ma’am, clearly.”
“Good. Now you boys figure out what the damn truth is, then if you would be so kind, please do tell ME.”
On her way out of the bedroom, she took hold of two cups of hot steaming tea and brought one to Wayne and then handed the other one to me. She never once looked up into my eyes because if she would have then I would have told her the truth, but she didn’t …
On her way out, she picked up the last remaining cup of tea. But before leaving she turned around and bore holes into my soul. She wasn’t angry any longer… I saw only grave disappointment. I started to say… but she left and closed the door to Wayne’ bedroom. I heard her footsteps head into the living room, and then the shattering of a coffee cup against a wall.
“Holy shit, Joey. I ain’t never seen her that mad before. What’s with you, Joey? She loves you. Can’t you see that? Isn’t it worth anything?” Wayne said angrily, his eyes boring holes into my soul just like his mother did not 2 minutes before.
He had a right to be angry.
I lied to his momma.
I lied to him.
“Well shit, say something, don’t just sit there damn it.” Wayne howled.
Quietly, just above a whisper, “Wayne. Promise me you’ll not hate me, no matter what.”
“Shit man, you lied to my momma. I know you did. She knows you did. You know you did. I’m pissed as hell at you, but I damn sure don’t hate you. I love you, don’t you understand that, damn it?”
Those words stung my heart. But you never talk about what had happened, ever. It is a code not to be broken. But then this was Wayne.
“Wayne, some things cannot be talked about. I’m sorry.”
“What do you mean, you can’t talk about it? You are carrying my sperms in you. I carry your sperms in me. And we have hella fun exchanging where they play. There are only two things that do not get talked about. The first is fuckin yo momma, and the second one is yo getting fucked without getting paid for it. Now which is it? Is yoh-momma gonna have yoh youngin?”
Quietly, I shook my head no and then looked down at the floor and picked at a loose thread in the carpet. Wayne reached his hand down and intercepted my fingers with his long, narrow ones and then squeezed firmly.
I looked up because I thought I had seen something hit his jeans. Tears were streaming from his eyes; he shuddered violently and then reached his arms out to me. Woodenly, I reached my arms out to him. We met somewhere in between. He held me and quietly sobbed into my neck while I remained stoic and strong even though I wanted to scream my lungs out.
“When Joey? When did it happen?”
“Today. Right before I came here.”
“I didn’t know. I’m sorry. Please forgive me.”
“You’ve got nothing to be sorry for. If anything, I should apologize to you. I used you today. You made me feel better. I’m sorry.”
“What yo talkin about? You used me? Ain’t no fuckin way you used me. We were totally together. We were one, just like we always are Joey. It don’t matter none if you are in me or I am in you … it don’t matter so long as we are together. Do you hear me? Are you listening?”
When I didn’t answer, Wayne pulled me up so that we were standing facing each other. Automatically, instinctively I leaned into him, brought our lips together where we passionately kissed lips to lips, and then we held each other firmly.
Wayne led me to his bed where we sat down, I said “Go get your momma, I only want to say it one time.”
“Let’s go out to her. She’s waiting for us. Drink up. I’ll make more.”
When we were finished with our teas, we got up and Wayne went into the kitchen while I went into the bathroom, peed, washed up and then met him in the living room where Millie was sitting crocheting on what appeared to be a baby blanket.
“Have you come to your senses, boy?”
“Yes ma’am. I’m sorry. Some things cannot be talked about, until now that is. Please forgive me for not telling you the entire truth.”
That said, she got up and stood in front of me, “You can tell me anything but that don’t mean that I will believe you now. Do you understand what I’m saying … after what you did earlier?”
“Yes ma’am, clearly.”
“Go on then.”
“Momma, can we sit down?” Wayne said coming into the room carrying two steaming hot cups of tea, once of which he offered to his mother. When she took it, he handed me the other and then went back to the kitchen and brought one in for himself.
“No. If Joey is going to do man things then he needs to face me like a man. A man with integrity will stand as he speaks, and he will look into my eyes.”
“Yes ma’am.” I replied then continued, “Ma’am, okay, you’re right. But I have no right to be called a man anymore…”
“But you are not a man, Joey. You are just a boy; you’re just 13 years old…”
“Momma, it’s the code. Let him finish, please.” Wayne said quietly. His eyes were glistening. He nodded into my eyes while Millie waited patiently.
“Screw no damn code boy. We are here right now. I have no damn code. Now what happened? Lord, have mercy.”
I shuddered when Momma Millie took my hand in hers, “Go ahead. Just say it.”
“Momma, please don’t be mad. I’ll just leave and won’t come back…”
“Joey, tell her. You ain’t going nowhere, not now, not ever.” Wayne said forcefully and then sat his cup down on the coffee table and joined his mother in solidarity. He reached for my hand but I pushed it away and then spat angrily, “A man forced himself on me today.”
“I know child. I saw it in your eyes.”
“I’m not done yet.”
“Oh Lordy child.”
“He will never hurt anyone ever again in any way. He died.”
“You killed him????”
“Yes ma’am. He killed me inside though.”
“Wasn’t there any other choice you could have made?”
After a long silence in the air with nobody speaking, Wayne walked over and then put his one arm around me, “Momma, I believe Joey. No matter what Joey and I did out there on the streets, nobody took us down like that. Joey gave all of himself to me for the very first time ever today. If he would not have done what he had to do, then we would never have had the opportunity.”
“Raping a child is a sin in God’s eyes, child. Does your momma know?” Millie said slowly and sincerely as she put her arms around me in a Momma Millie hug.
“She needs to know, child.”
I nodded into her bosom. At the same time, I felt Wayne hug me from the back. “Come on boys. I needs some Medicine. So do you. If you is old enough to squeal then you is old enough to relieve your stresses. Lardy, Lardy chile. I’m sorry Lord, but if I would have been there, well Lord, I would have popped the muthafucka myself. Oh my, come on chilrens.”
That said, she led us into the kitchen where she reached high up into the cabinet and pulled down a bottle that had no label on it, pulled out 3 large coffee cups and sat them down on the counter, and then poured them half full with Medicine and handed them to us. She then filled hers to capacity, “I’s older dan you’ins> Don’t give me no lip. Bottoms’ up” <She giggled>.
“Bottoms up.” Wayne and I said in unison and then gulped the contents down in one fell swoop (gulp).
After sputtering and coughing, with tears running from our eyes because of its biting strength, we all joined in a hug. The medicinal effects arrived momentarily, and when they hit Millie, she began babbling about how straight guys are all fucked up when it comes to loving someone, the sad state of the world, how the president has all priorities all backwards, and then she started laughing and carrying on, as I knew she would, she’d been in that spot before.
‘Child git that good shit out of the drawer, first one on the right under the sink, don’t spill none of it, ya heah, theat bees somes good wicked shit, yes it is.” Millie slurred, giggling.
And good shit that shit was. After passing it between us twice, and after two more liquid medicinal treatments, with a big ole smile on her face, she closed her eyes and was out to the world.
After covering her with a blanket so she wouldn’t get chilled, I walked to Wayne, pulled him in for a kiss and then grabbed hold of his appendage that I knew would be fully erect. The Medicine and coke does that to him. It does it to me too.
By the time we arrived in Wayne’s room, our clothes were scattered from here to there. He closed the door but did not lock it; it did not need to be locked. After taking a flying leap, we arrived on his bed and sucked and sucked and sucked until we could no longer stand any contact post orgasms, and then Wayne went into the bathroom, retrieved the jar of Vaseline from the shower and doped himself, his ass up.
Needing no further encouragement because he was lying face down on the bed with his pucker pointed up to the sky in my direction… it was winking its invitation, I lubed up, laid on top of my man and then drove it home in one fell swoop, and then deposited what was left in my sperm reservoir.
Wayne was not denied.
Finally satiated, as evidenced by a pair of wilted love machines, we rolled over into each other, kissed softly and then after another love making session, each, at some point we fell of asleep into la la land.
We were awoken some time later by a knocking on the door and Millie’s voice saying that dinner was almost ready and that we should wash up before coming to the table. Giggling beyond control she opened the door only to see us lying naked on the bed. She tossed our clothes onto the bed, whistled loudly and then said, “Hurry up now ya heah?”
We were both still very fucked up so without a qualm in the world we got up and headed into the bathroom, walking right by Millie who was appraising the ‘mess’ in Wayne’s bed.
Like two dogs in heat … again … we rutted deeply and meaningfully, drunk and stupidly drugged in the shower. My bung was on fire yet Wayne’s fire extinguisher cannister easily and quickly put out the fire. Not caring one damn bit, we dried off then joined Millie in the kitchen after putting on only long t-shirts.
She was heating two spoons of white crystalline that quickly turned to liquid. Without a qualm or argument she injected all of us like a professional. Wayne poured us Medicine which we sipped on while Millie prepared the munchies so that we could watch TV.
Stoned and fucked up the max, we then went into the living room and faced the TV although nobody really gave a flying fuck what was showing. We laughed, giggled, cut up, went for More Medicine.
Momma Millie passed out at some point and Wayne wasn’t that much better. He laid across my lap and put his feet up which permitted me access to all he had. Soon my fingers were doing their deal, and then in front of God, a passed out Millie, a dazed and fucked up Wayne, I pounded his ass for all I was worth – which I wasn’t much of in retrospect.
I passed out with my I-beam deeply implanted into him. Then at some point I came to and Wayne was preparing my vault for deposits… I cared not, not one little bit.
Everybody, including Millie who would come to every now and again, giggled every now and again. When Wayne went to screaming his arrival at Nirvana Momma Millie wailed, “Lardy, Lardy, Lardy young’in yous be like a fuckin baseball bat, you is. You bees just like yo daddy, oh Lawd I miss him.”
Wayne was paying no attention to her words.
I was paying very little attention to her words.
And so it was. That was our evening… fucked up, fucking up, fucking down, having a great time. And for a while I got to forget all that had happened.
In a hazed daze Millie turned on the news channel. The first news story was the murder and mayhem death of a Daniel Louis Wainwright, on the south side, half a block from where Ma, Christoper, Nathan and I lived. He’d been brutally murdered, and had other violent things done to him that they could not report as the suspect was still on the loose. They said the cops said they had leads on the suspected killer but he couldn’t be found.
Millie looked at me, questioningly.
I shook my head no as my mind cleaned up and sobered up in the few moments the newscaster was recounting the facts as they knew them. Tears began leaking from my eyes, rolling down my cheeks and landing on Wayne’s upturned butt as he was back to lying across my lap.
I offered somberly, “Christopher did it. Daniel was one of the good tricks I did. He cared. He really did.”
I pushed Wayne aside, went to the kitchen, poured myself a tall glass of Medicine and drank more than half of it down in one guzzle.
The next story was of the barkeep and a man in the bathroom. The newscaster said that there was evidence of sexual assault but didn’t give any other details other than to say they thought the homicides were similar in M.O.
Millie looked at me… I nodded. She walked over and pulled me into a hug. She said, “Now I believes you fo sure. Don’t you never no mo evers lies to me again, yo heah chile? I bees on yo side but yous can’t lies to yo Momma Millie no mo. Have’s yo some mo Medicine chile?”
“Nah thanks. I’m bad strung out Millie. I gotsta go take care of some things.” I said to Millie looking up into her eyes through my glazed and hazed eyes.
“Now don’t you go gittin in any troubles, young’in. If you need shit then come here. We’s always gots plenty.”
I nodded, patted Wayne’s naked upturned fine ass, pulled his shirt down to cover it and then wormed my way out and headed into the shower. I was one hell of a mess, both front and back. I couldn’t tell you how many times we rutted but from the looks of things we made sex continuously for several hours, but who knows. The most distressing thing about the whole day was doing ‘it’ in front of Millie… I wasn’t sure how long she’d been passed out and everything. I knew of at least twice when I came up for air because of the shit.
I had to jack off one more time so that I could get my dick inside a tight pair of bikini underwear that I’d seen in Wayne’s closet when I was hiding. They were bright red, skin tight, and very, very brief.
Washed up and dressed I hugged Millie then kissed Wayne’s lips (he’d turned over on the couch as was once again passed out). I covered his wilted dick with the front hem of his shirt, kissed his lips and then stole out into the night.
The temperature was cold. One of those freezing cold winter blasts had blown through. It was even snowing just a little bit, not enough to cause much trouble but enough to once again be reminded that mother nature can be a real bitch.
Winding my way through the dark and largely vacant city streets, I soon arrived at the park.
Buzz, David, Quiet Jim, Emanuel and another guy who I did not know were already gathered. It was quiet, and no cops were around, and believe me I looked carefully for them. The unknown guy darted up the hill and into the dark expanse of the park forest as I strode up to Buzz and the guys.
“What’s that all about?” I asked wondering who the fuck that guy was.
“He was just buying some shit. You okay bruddah?”
“I’m strung out. Had one hell of a party today. Sex, drugs and rock ‘n roll all damn day.”
“Yeah well good for you. Did you get a good gal or did you fuck some ho, or some guy. Word has it one of your customers, ‘a guy’ got popped today.”
“Fuck you Buzz. That dude actually gave a fuck about me… didn’t push anything. And his momma makes damn fine cookies. I ain’t been with no ho that made cookies.” I said, finishing with a good laugh.
“Yeah, okay, point taken. Anyways, the cops are looking for you Joey. Ya need to lay low. By the way, Christopher did that dude.”
“He did? How do you know?” I asked seriously.
“He said so. Yeah, he just left a few minutes ago. I’m surprised you didn’t run into him.”
“I came from Wayne’s. I holed up there. The cops came looking but then they went away. Christopher is fuckin nuts you know.” I said seriously.
“Yeah, you got that right. He’s certified crazy. Hey, did you hear about the bartender up on the hill… whoever it was gutted his ass. Word on the streets is that he did a bad deal.”
Quiet Jim said, “There was also this dude in the bathroom who had his fucking head blown the fuck off his neck. Word is that his dick was dirty… you know… shit.”
“Well the guy got what he deserved. Fucking faggot rapists anyway. Oh Joey, you fucked up dude. According to a snitch your phone was found in that apartment.”
“I was there earlier… before all the shit happened. Christopher knew something. What he said is pretty much what you said though he didn’t say exactly. Guy’s I was at the bar… I stopped in for a Coke. The cops were all over the fuckin place so I ran. I took a piss before I headed back down here…”
Buzz looked at me with an intensity I’d not ever seen before. He took hold of my hair and said, “I saw shit in your hair dude… was that you…”
“Let go of my god damned hair.” I said heatedly. When he didn’t immediately release it I grabbed hold of it to keep it from pulling out from the scalp.
“You were there? It’s okay dude.” Buzz said to me then looked to Quiet Jim and then back to me.
“Yeah, I popped him. I had to. Leave me alone, okay? Fuck it.” I said and then turned to walk away.
Buzz took hold of my coat, turned me around and asked, “Are you okay?”
“I had my phone Buzz.”
“No the fuck you didn’t. It was lying on the dude’s dresser. The cop on our side said they cannot trace you unless they have the phone. Shit, this sound like CSI shit but did you leave sperms behind? DNA and shit, ya know.”
“Yeah. He swallowed… stomach acids take care of it.”
“So.. you never answered… are you okay?”
“I didn’t fuck my momma if that’s what you”re after. Yeah, I’m okay.”
“Here comes the half-pint bad assed guy walking through the park over by the jungle gym.” Emanuel said using our trade marked name for Skeeter.
“Hey, Skeeter. How’s it a hanging?” Quiet Jim asked before I could.
“Still about 3 inches, wanna play?” Skeeter bantered.
“Nah. That’s okay. I’ll take your word for it kid.” Quiet Jim said.
Skeeter then turned to me and said seriously, “Dude, there’s some serious shit going on at your crib. Christopher…”
“Christopher’s fucking doing what – exactly?” I asked.
“I was hanging with Nathan when Christopher went all ballistic and shit, calling us faggots and shit. He’s loaded.”
Just then Nathan came out from the shadows. He was limping and limping bad.
My adrenalin pumped up to epic proportions. I felt a rage firing up deep within my being… so held me God if anybody hurt my brother they would fucking pay with their life. I swore solemn oaths to take care of and watch out for him.
Everybody said hi but instead of replying to them he walked right up to me and slammed his fist into my gut thus knocking the wind out of my lungs and putting me to the ground.
After working very hard on gathering my wits back I angrily took hold of his hair and asked, “What the fuck was that for?”
Angrily, Nathan sucker punched me in the gut again, not so hard but still hard enough to make me let go of him. He screamed “Well, maybe if you were home for a fuckin change, shit wouldn’t happen, asshole.”
He tried for a third time. I was ready for it. While I was drawing my hand back to punch the hell out of him, instead of hitting him I knocked him down to the ground where we began wrestling in earnest, and then when I got him held down, I began tickling him without mercy, and way beyond his screams to let him go because he was going to piss his pants. He indeed peed his pants, and he was screaming and cussing because he had.