Today was my wedding day. I have never been so anxious for an event in such a long time. The last event I was anxious for was the week before my college graduation. Today was the day I had my nails, hair and makeup done. My friends were in the room with me prepped and ready to go.
I was too busy pacing back and forth. I just wanted this whole wedding ordeal to be over with. I can just imagine Zayn being just as nervous as me. I’m only thinking that because I’m hoping that I’m not the only one feeling this way. “It’s almost time.” Jade had checked the time on her watch. My heart started to beat against my chest. I couldn’t believe it. In just one hour, I was going to be Mrs. Zayn Malik.
From the day Zayn had asked me to marry him until now, many things have happened. Louis and Eleanor have broken up. A part of me thought that the two of them would last, but things happen for a reason. Jade and Harry are engaged. They have decided that they are planning on getting married in my old hometown in Virginia.
Jane and Niall are going to Europe for three months, which I’m a bit disappointed with the fact that they didn’t invite me to join them. Liam has met wonderful woman. Her name is Sophia Smith. She’s beautiful, smart and definitely Liam’s type.
After the wedding ceremony, we all gathered in the ballroom of the Marriott hotel. We were all enjoying the wedding reception, but my mind was still on Louis. Zayn had invited him to come to the wedding. I invited Eleanor.
We thought the two of them could re-kindle their relationship. Eleanor did attend the wedding, but Louis was still a no show. “You came without a date?” I asked her. The two of us were with the other girls talking and doing some catching up.
“I had a boyfriend, but he and I didn’t last very long.” said she. I nodded and took a sip of my drink. I looked around the room to see if Louis had arrived. I was still a bit heartbroken that he wasn’t at the ceremony or the reception. I excused myself to go outside and make a phone call.
I walked out of the ballroom and entered the main seating area. I took out my phone and dialed Louis’ number. I waited for an answer, but to no avail, Louis didn’t answer. I redialed the number again until I heard a voice on the other end. “Louis.” I said.
“Hey Rosie.” Louis sounded depressed.
“You’re not at the reception.”
“I don’t want to go if Eleanor is there. You can’t make me go.”
“Why don’t you go for me?”
“You’re married to my best friend. I don’t think-“
“He invited you Lou. You have to go. I want you to go, please?” I interrupted. There was a small pause until Louis finally agreed that he would drive out to the hotel, but it was only just for me. I thanked him and hung up the phone. Zayn exited out into the main area because he was looking for me.
He asked me why I was out here. I told him about my call with Louis. He wanted me to run the news by of Louis’ arrival with Eleanor. I asked Zayn to do it himself while I wait for Louis. He nodded and walked back into the ballroom. I sounded a bit harsh when I said those words, but I really wanted to see Louis.
The two of us had hardly spoken at all since his birthday. I haven’t seen him since then either. It almost seemed like he had disappeared off of the face of the earth since his breakup with Eleanor. About fifteen minutes passed by, Louis finally arrived. I greeted him with a hug. “Good, now all of my friends can be together here in one room.” I smiled.
“I’m only here for you Rosie.” Louis didn’t have to remind me. I turned to head back in the direction of the room, but he stopped me. He said he was only here to see me. He sounded as if he had no intention to stay for the night. Zayn met up with us.
The two of them exchanged a few words before Louis said he had to go. He couldn’t be in the same room with Eleanor. He was about to say goodbye and head out when Eleanor approached us. Everything became silent all of a sudden. Zayn and I felt the need to leave the two of them alone to talk.
As soon as we left them alone, they were in a heated argument. Everyone silent watched the argument go down. Eleanor slapped Louis across the face and proceeded on down the hallway. Sophia and Jade went to comfort her. Louis headed outside. I followed him out, even though Zayn wanted to go. I went outside and saw him on the bench with his head in his hands. I walked over and joined him. “Lou-“
“Don’t start.” He interrupted. “I tried to make amends with her. She’s still upset about what happened. I shouldn’t have come here. Why did you make me go? This is your fault.”
“My fault? I just asked you to go for me. You went because you wanted to see me. It was an open invite Louis. After three years of not speaking to each other, this is how you treat me? I thought we were better than that. I thought we were-“
“I’m in love with you Rosie.”
“You know what, it doesn’t matter.” Louis stood up and began to head on inside. He was walking in the direction of the elevator. I followed him anyway. I called out after him. He didn’t turn around. He didn’t even stop to look at me. He pressed the button to call the elevator to the main floor.
“Louis, talk to me.” The doors opened. Louis stepped inside. I walked in with him. He told me that I had a reception to attend to. I told him I didn’t care. I told him that I wanted to hear his reason for saying those words to me. I wanted it so much that I demanded it.
Instead of opening his mouth and explaining to me about how he felt about me, he gently pushed me against the back of the elevator wall and pressed his lips to mine. When he pulled away, I looked into his eyes. “Goodbye Rosie.” He had pressed the button for the doors to open.
I stepped out. I faced the elevators when the doors closed. I walked back to the ballroom. Zayn and our friends were waiting for me. He asked me where Louis had gone off too. I told them Louis had to leave. He wasn’t here for that long. Everyone had carried on about their conversations for the rest of the night, but I couldn’t stop thinking about what had happened with Louis.
It doesn’t matter. Louis being in love with me. It matters. When Zayn and I had flown out the next day for our honeymoon, it mattered. When we came back home, it mattered. When I went back to work, it mattered. When I got back doing my daily routine, it mattered.
When I discovered that night would be the last night I ever saw Louis, it suddenly stopped being a constant reminder. It stopped being a hinderance. The kiss didn’t matter. The words he said to me didn’t matter. It didn’t matter because he said so.
It didn’t matter to him about how he felt for me because I’m married to his best friend. To him, it didn’t matter whether he told me or not because he knew that I would disregard it as nothing. But I didn’t. It kept me up for weeks, for months long after our wedding.
It kept me occupied when I announced my pregnancy to Zayn and our friends. It kept me occupied when our daughter, Daniella was born. What bothered me the most was that he said the word goodbye and that was it.
My friends had moved on with their lives while I moved on with mine. “Is everything okay?” asked Zayn. The two of us were in bed together. Our daughter was fast asleep in her room. It was the same question Zayn had always asked since the day Louis left.
I would lie and tell him that I’m fine. Of course, he didn’t believe me. This night was different. “I have to go Zayn.” I got out of bed and took out the suitcase from the storage closet. I started packing. He tried to stop me, but I kept going. I packed every article of clothing hastily. “Rosie, it’s the middle of the night.” He reminded me. “Where are you going to go?”
“I have to find him Zayn. I have to… I have to see him. I need to go.” Tears were forming in my eyes. They started to run down my cheeks. I was on my knees, on the floor crying like a baby. I didn’t care. Zayn crouched down beside me. He wrapped his arms around me and pulled me close to him. He rubbed my arms gently and kissed the top of my head.
“Louis… I need Louis. He just left. No one has seen or heard from him. Zayn, I miss him. I can’t stop. I just can’t.” I pulled away from him and resumed to zip up my suitcase. Zayn didn’t stop me. He let me go. I had made this decision on my own.
It had been a little over three years now. He didn’t fight me, but insisted on calling a cab for me. I thanked him. When the cab arrived, I got in and took off. The first place I tried was Eleanor’s place. I wondered if the two of them had made up.
Eleanor told me that she hadn’t spoken to Louis since my wedding day. She gave me his parents’ number to call them and check there. I thanked her before getting into the cab. In the cab, I made the call. I waited for two rings until somebody picked up.
Louis’ mother, Johannah answered the phone. “Hi, I’m Rosie. I’m a friend of Louis. I was wondering if you knew about his whereabouts.” I gently bit my lip. Johannah told me that Louis had taken a plane to London.
She mentioned that he had bought a house there where he would stay for the summer. I thanked her. She told me that she was worried about Louis as well. She brought up the fact that he hadn’t been acting himself lately these few years.
Again I thanked her for the information she had given me before I hung up the phone and told the cab driver to take me to the airport. I went to the ticketing area and bought the first ticket out to London. It was expensive, but I didn’t care.
When the plane landed in the airport, I took a cab to the address that Johannah had given me to Louis’ place. I paid the driver who also was kind enough to help me with my suitcase. Seeing Louis’ summer home was definitely something to marvel at.
I didn’t exactly expect him to be this modern. I thought he would get something along the similarity of Zayn’s place. I walked up the driveway to the front door and rang the bell. I waited for less than a minute when someone had answered the door. “Rosie?” It was Louis. He had grown out some of his facial hair, but his hair was still well-kept.
“I need you Louis. For three years, I couldn’t stop thinking about what you said. It’s just the fact that you left without any explanation to what you had said to me. You can’t just walk out and pretend like nothing between us has changed. Things have changed Louis. We’re still friends, and I want you to be aware of that. I miss you. Your mom told me that you would be here. She gave me your address. You said it doesn’t matter. It matters. You being in my life matters Louis. You are one of the most important people that I care about, that I want to talk to when I’m feeling down. I don’t want you to think that you’re not important. I don’t want you to think that I’m just pushing you away. It probably must’ve seemed like that at my wedding because I invited you since Zayn did. Zayn wasn’t the reason I invited you. I wanted you to be there because I wanted to see you. I didn’t intend for you and El to run into each other like that. I’m sorry about what—“
“Rosie, it’s okay. You didn’t have to come all this way out here to see me.”
“I did. You weren’t answering any of my calls. I thought you had just given up on us, me… our friendship.” I looked down at my hands. I heard Louis sigh. He reached out and lifted my chin in order for me to look at him. He caressed my cheek gently with his thumb.
“You married my best friend. You two have a beautiful daughter. When I kissed you that night, it was stupid of me to. I shouldn’t have done something like that at your wedding reception. It wasn’t working out with Eleanor because I was in love with someone else. It was you. I was in love with you, and I shouldn’t have opened my mouth. So you’ve just wasted your time and money to flying all the way out here to—“ I interrupted him with a kiss. I pulled away, only to see his surprised reaction. Neither of us had spoken a word, just exchanging glances.
"I’m addicted to you. You’re toxic."