Just show us you licence please would you sir.’
Jim went into the glove compartment and got out his licence then handed it over.’
“Are you the owner of this vehicle sir?’
“Well if I’m not; I’m in big trouble.’
“Would you mind stepping out of the vehicle sir?’
The policeman ran a check on the car then asked Jim to take a breathalyser test.’
“I’ve only had one drink officer.’
“Yes sir, that’s what they all say.’
“Would you mind blowing into this bag sir?’
“Yes, I do, especially when I’ve only had one bottle of Budweiser; but I will blow into your little bag just to appease you.’
Jim blew into the bag until he was asked to stop then sat in the car to see if the nozzle at the top changed colour.’
“Your alcohol level seems to be in order but it doesn’t explain why you were driving at over seventy miles per hour in a built up area sir.’
“Look officer I had just had a row with my wife and I was angry at her I left her in the pub and I was going home.’
“Alright Mr Gales we are prepared to over look the offence this time but please drive carefully in future.
Jim was about to leave when the officer called him back.’
Jim turned and asked what now?’
“One more thing sir before you go.’
“Would you mind awfully signing your autograph; my wife is a big fan of yours.’
“Jim smiled knowing that the two coppers had spotted him coming out of the pub and they knew the only way to get his autograph was to go through the procedure.
He signed the pieces of paper then folded each one then handed it to the officers.
Thank you they said as Jim as he drove away.’
“I told you we’d get his autograph said Pc Dave Turner to his partner Des Baldwin.’
They opened the folded pieces of paper to reveal what Jim had written.
The first said ‘ello, ‘ello, ‘ello what’s going on? Plod ere.’ The second said “nothing Plod; it was big ears, he did it.’
“The policemen looked at each other then threw the pieces of paper out of the window.’
Jim got home then went into the house he felt pretty stressed out after his ordeal and went outside and made himself a splif; he smoked the Marijuana holding the smoke deep in his lungs and immediately felt better; He hadn’t realised how much he’d missed having a blast of the drug. He made another and smoked it now he was getting stoned; he went to the studio and picked up his pencil and began to write. Everything seem so clear to him and he laughed as he wrote down the words to the chorus and then picked up his guitar. He played around with the chords He turned on the tape recorder and began to sing and play the verse that he’d written
Noddy got stopped by the plods earlier tonight
Their trotters and flat feet and a big flashing light
The smell of burnt bacon permeated the car
As I blew in the bag to see if I’d broke the law