Midnight Doodles

A collection of Poetry, some of it probably sounds better as spoken word, and I might do a few as spoken word, but, for now, poetry.


1. goldfish can't comprehend the cosmos anyway

the life of a goldfish holds little significance

-yet they seem so content,

no cares or troubles to disparage them from swimming endlessly,

swimming circles continuously,

smooth bubbles of amusement their only friend.


  i wish i was a goldfish,

wide eyed and uninformed of the incomprehensible dangers outside

  -just outside my fish bowl.


  i wish i was a goldfish,

because then when spoken horrors kissed my ears,

i’d never understand the pain in the tears,

dripping in my fish bowl.

and i’d never find myself curled up and wanting to cry

feeling empty all the time

a wallowing pain inside

its the fourth time-

its the fourth time this week I’ve broken down and cried,

that would never happen if I was a goldfish.  


if i was a goldfish,

i'd have no concept of pain;

the pain that drags its nails through my brain when I hear her name.

i wouldn’t comprehend the fear.

if i had gills and scales,

instead of skin and bitten finger nails.

hated skin.

that covers the flesh of a body i despise and cannot rid myself of,

but i wouldn’t understand the struggle as a goldfish.  


if i was a goldfish, 

i could marvel at the coins at the bottom of my fish bowl,

rather than suffer through the noise.

the screaming and small talk,

an unavoidable confusion that tears through my soul 

-just another day to go.  


yet, if i was a goldfish,

i wouldn’t want to scream for help to ever passerby,

with no voice from which to elicit a cry.

but who could help?

for the cosmos waits for no one  


if i was a goldfish,

i wouldn’t be able to fathom the cosmos anyway.                                                  

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