Everything seemed just so unrealistic. My mind just couldn't register the act that I was going to give up on what I had planned. Why am I acting like I am going to stop cutting? Why am I telling myself that I'll stop? I know I won't. It's something I can't control. I just have to do it. I let them brain wash me. Why? Or is it for the good? I-I just don't know. I need somebody to tell me. Someone by my side who knows what's wrong and what's right. Letting someone get close to me, it's... it'll only bring conflict. I'll get too attached to that person. I don't need help. I could help myself. I know I'm contradicting myself, but it's just shows how fucked up I am and honestly, maybe my body just likes to suffer. I feel so lonely, yet I feel like I don't need anybody. Maybe I don't. I plugged in my earbuds, letting the stress take control of my body and laid on my bed.
"I walk a lonely road, the only one that I have ever known. Don't know where it goes-"
The doorbell shook me off from my daydream. Yanking the earbuds out, the doorbell was being played in form of a beat. Like... Hips don't lie? Wanting that horrible song to end, I raced to door like never before. Opening it, I caught Niall with his finger on the bell. He chuckles nervously, scratching his the back of neck.
I raised an eyebrow, "Yes?"
"Hey, we came to hang with you... if that's ... alright with... you." Niall explained.
I debated silently with myself, which has become a regular thing.
"I-I can't do it." My voice stuttered out, and before I knew it, I was standing in front of a now shut door. I inhaled as I backed away from the door. No. I won't let them come and think they could just get involved in my life. Who do they think they are?
I took cautious steps towards the window where I saw only Scarlett. My eyebrows furrowed, I moved closer to the window. Her face looked puzzled, a sigh left her lips. She took one last look then turned to her heels and walked away. My body couldn't help but have an unfamiliar sensation running through it. I can't let her in. I won't let myself dig myself in some type of tunnel, because that's what life is. You discover new things and you think your are getting closer to the"light." But in reality, while you are discovering new things, you create future conflicts. Because not everything will stay as good as it is in the beginning.
Scarlett's POV: (Ayyy finally)
Turning the knob of the shower, I opened the curtains to immediately be received by the coldness, creating goosebumps on my legs and throughout my arms. I reached for my baby blue towel and wrapped it around my body securely. Following by putting my other white towel and wrapping it around my head. I stepped out and opened the door straight to my room. Once I closed the door, I started picking out my clothes, that is until Calum called.
I mentally groaned, "Yeees?"
"Do you want to join us? We are going to Harry's and see if he wants to hang for some time."
An unintentional smile spread on my face, "Sure! Just, let me get ready."
"Whatever, hurry up."
"Don't rush a lady."
"Are you even considered one?"
My mouth fell agape. I'm not wasting my time on him, I should get ready. I picked out a simple white tee and a pair of light blue jeans. I blow dried my hair and brushed it. I then braided a section of my hair in a form that it would look like a hair band (crown?). Getting my white converse I was all set.
I raced downstairs to see Niall and Calum. Where's Ash and Luke?
"I'm ready." I say with a content smile.
"K. Let's go."
I followed behind them to lock the door further on. Once we were outside, I noticed that there was only the old truck that is barely used there.
Now standing in front of the door, Niall decided to play with the doorbell. I smiled and waited patiently. I took in every single feature of the house. It wasn't the prettiest. If my mom wasn't the way she is, damn our house would look the same, especially since she had to fly out to Maryland for a week.
The motion of the door opening dropped me out of my daze. Harry stood there looking at Niall, who chuckled nervously.
"Hey, we came to hang with you... if that's ... alright with... you." Niall spoke.
Harry seemed like if he were in deep thought or like if he was asked to do a huge favor. He couldn't seem to answer.
"I-I can't do it." His sentence coming out shakily. With that he shut the door in front of our faces. I had a startled expression on my face. What just happened?
"Um, maybe we should leave." Calum said breaking the awkward silence. Niall nodded and followed Calum home.
My feet couldn't seem to move from its place. Why would he do that? We were nothing but nice to him. We didn't judge him. And he slams the door on us? My blood boiled just re-imagining the previous scene. Sighing I gave the house one last look before leaving disappointed.
Finishing my last pancake, I placed my syrup covered plate on the sink and rinsed it with water and soap.
Oh my gosh, why isn't Calum waking up? We are going to be late! Drying my hands with the hand cloth, I sprinted to his door. I knocked gently first.
"Calum! Get your lazy bum up! We're going to be late!"
I pressed my ear to the wooden door, but it was quiet. I'm not risking going in and seeing him naked again. Nuh uh, never. I knocked again, this time basically slamming on the door.
I heard a painful moan and the sound of him shifting in bed. This got me worried. You know what? Eef it, I'm going in. I twisted the door knob and my eyes widen from the sight in front of me.
"Cal! What's wrong? Oh my gosh are you ok?" I asked worriedly.
Calum was wearing two long sleeved shirts and sweats, along with a beanie covering his head. He was wrapped in 2 bed covers, but still he was shaking.
"S-Scar. I don't f-feel so good." He moaned out.
"Oh, Cal." I looked at my older brother with sympathy. I placed the back of my hand on his forehead.
"Oh my gosh. You're burning up!"
His eyes closed slowly, his breathing was irregular.
"Here, I'll go make you some soup ok?"
"But Scar, you have to go to school." He voice coming out weak and raspy
"I'll go, once I finish making you soup and giving you Medicine so you can sleep, ok?"
"Fine. I love youu. You're the best sister ever." His raspy voice rang out.
I chuckled and placed a kiss on his hot forehead before going to kitchen.
Harry's POV: (again)
Why am I still even here? I'm not doing this for Scarlett anymore. I told myself I wouldn't. But still, here I am, in school, in 1st period, looking like a dumbass. I didn't see Scarlett nor Calum. Hopeful- no. It's better that they are not here. Yeah, it's for the best. First period was about to end. As soon as the bell rung, I got up and went to 2nd Period. When I entered, my eyes met with Niall's, quickly I avoided his stare and rushed towards a seat far away from him, that is until Hallie, the schools gossip girl took the seat. I probably shouldn't have stood there cursing the girls birth because soon there wasn't anymore seats, but in front of Niall's.
Pissed off, i went to the seat. Lord have Mercy on me.
During class work, I overheard Niall talking with Luke about Calum.
"Luke, have you seen Calum?"
"Erm, Scar texted saying Calum got the fever. She stayed for a bit. But she's here now. He's home. Wanna go later to check on him?"
"I would, but I can't, my family and I are going out tonight."
"Alright. Hey! Did you hear-"
So that's why she wasn't here in the morning. Tuning out Luke, I put my head down. Should I ask to go to the bathroom and make a run for it? Nah, I feel to tired to risk getting caught. But Tyler's not here. Whatever. I should just recover some sleep.
(Skipping to 8th period.)
Sitting in my usual spot, I placed my sketchpad out on the old wooden desk. I skipped 7th period. I just didn't want to see Scarlett. I'd skip this period, but during 8th period is when the head mistress comes and checks every class. As she knows me perfectly well.
"Hello darling, how are you?"
"Good." Her voice was barely heard. Her mocha eyes met my green ones, her stare was cold, she didn't smile at me. Which was unusual, but now I know she's not so fond of me right now. She sat next the the most artsiest guy in school. Joshua Farland. Joshua was very quiet and reserved during classes, but was a dick to some people. He gave her a smile and she returned a shy one. Rolling my eyes, I let myself focus on my newest drawing. To hell with Scarlett.