I felt guilt instantly knock me back down as i tried to get up. I didn't get enough sleep the night before. Scarlett's broken features kept haunting me. And i knew that if i kept thinking about her, I'd dream of her. I didn't want to hurt her.. but i did. Here i am, hating my father for hurting me. Here i am saying that those who hurt others don't deserve to be here. But here i am, hurting her. My own thoughts haunted me, making scenario's in my head. Thinking of how maybe she cried herself to sleep. Or the fact that she just woke up and just like me, all the events from yesterday came rushing back to her memory.
It was Friday, and my parents would be here by Sunday. I debated on whether I should go to school or not. I knew if I went, I'd see Selena. Or maybe she'd decide not to go. I have to go. I can't keep skipping school. Having enough strength, I pushed myself up and stretched. Making up my mind, I got dressed and went downstairs. The house started to get a bit warmer each day, the seasons were changing. Just like me.
I was taking out my things for 1st period. I knew exams were going to start to come by, and usually the teachers make us bring out books to review. And I don't want to be awkwardly sharing with someone. I closed my locker, but immediately stopped by the brunette who was leaning against a locker. Her face held no emotion. It seemed as if she was glaring at everyone, more like judging her surroundings. Only the wire of her earbuds visible because of her beanie covering it. She wore a simple red sweater and some gray sweats with her black converse.
She wasn't like this. Or was she? I only know Scarlett for 2 weeks I think and I don't know her well. But, I don't remember her expression being this way. Actually, no that I remember, she was this way when I first saw her in Gemma's class. Was it because of me she started smiling more? As I kept on being a creep, I noticed how she gave a cold vibe. Like one of those girls you shouldn't mess with, that doesn't let her guard down. Like the girls that don't care about anything.
Why is she just standing there? Is she going to skip or something? Right after that, Calum appeared, giving her a small push. She gave him a smile, but he didn't buy it. Her smile quickly vanished and was quickly taken over with a frown and sad eyes. Calum sighed and pulled her into a hug, she buried her head into her brothers neck. She'll find comfort in him. Always.
I took one last glance at them before walking away.
"Styles! Man, we haven't met up for a while. Did you miss us?"
I felt my hands start to get sweaty, my stomach felt as if it were going to explode.
The strings of my hoodie tighten around my neck, taking my breath for awhile.
He caught me.
He snickered, "What? You think you can just ignore me? Did you not think I saw the way you rolled your eyes at me in first period? You're gonna get it Styles."
His knuckles aimed right under my eye. He took a swing, then another until he was interrupted.
"Hey! Tyler what the fuck are you doing?"
He took his hand away as soon as he heard the voice. I opened my eyes and saw that he was blushing and having difficulty to form a sentence. Painfully, I looked up to see a blonde girl with brown highlights stomping her way towards us. She looked furious but with a mixture of disappointment. She gave Tyler a stern face and shoved him towards the locker not after mumbling, "asshole."
She got down to my level and examined my face. Her face soften as she sighed.
"Are you ok?" Her voice was more delicate now.
"Y-yeah. This tends to happen a lot."
"Well it shouldn't." Her straight face returning, "You need to learn how to defend yourself. Here." She offered me her hand.
I took it, but immediately stumbled a little. My hand hovered over the spot.
"We might as well just skip 2nd period. Do you want to?"
"Oh come on. We don't even have to go outside of school we could just hide in the bathrooms if you want."
"O-Ok" I said with a weak smile which she returned.
"Cool, let's go."
She took my hand and led me to the boys bathroom. Wait.
"Um, this is the boys bathroom." I said stopping on my tracks.
"So? Don't worry kid. We won't get caught. Plus, I'm sure the boys wouldn't mind." She said with a smirk.
She pushed the door open as she spoke loudly, "Anyone here?"
All she got in response was silence. She shook her head contently before letting me in. I heard the lock of the door click and all the lights turned off except the one from the far corner. Quietly, we stood there, just appreciating the quiet. Almost everyone was in class. It was the only moment when the hallways were quiet and lonely.
"What's your name?"
Her voice startled me a little, but I covered it up and responded, "Harry... you?"
"Alexis. How old are you Harry?"
"Me too, are you dating someone?"
I scoffed at her ridiculous question, "Really? You think I'd have a girlfriend? Nice joke."
I felt her eyes scanning me which made me feel self conscious for once. I usually don't care how I'm presented to others.
"You're not bad Harry. You're attractive." She mumbled.
I had the urge to laugh, to scoff, but I didn't.
"Yeah? To whose human eyes am I attractive?"
"Hey, don't think so low of yourself." She said softly.
I felt her move to my side, she took my hand in hers.
"Let's not talk about the stuff that we are insecure about. Tell me, do you have any hobbies?"
"Um... i-i like drawing?"
I was so damn nervous. How could I not. There's a beautiful girl next to me holding my hand and taking an interest in me. The knob of the door twisted then their was banging.
"Ignore it. Are you good Harold?"
I groaned, "Noo, please don't call me that."
She giggled, "Ok Harold."
A smile lurked on my face at the sound of her giggle. She gave me a gentle squeeze before speaking.
"I want to be a model one day. I love fashion, but I want someone who knows about it to pick out my clothes. I'm a little lazy sometimes." She chuckled as she placed her head on my shoulder.
My body became tense, I became stiff. I made the effort of trying to relax myself, but I couldn't help but feel nervous.
"Y-you'd be a great model. I-I'm sure of it." I stuttered out.
She lifted her head up and looked at me, "How are you so sure?"
"Well... y-you're b-beautiful." My cheeks were displaying the blush that came on them.
"Thank you. It means a lot." She blushed as well. She then began to search through the her purse. She took out the newly decorated white device and handed it it me.
"Put you phone number."
Putting the digits down, I began to think of a name to write down.
I gave her phone back with a smile, "There you go. Now we can hook up whenever you want." I gave her a smirk.
She laughed loudly as she put her phone away, "Be prepared Harold."
She replaced her head again on my shoulder. She let a content sigh and closed her eyes. I did the same but with a smile.
"Henry wake up!"
"Henry, bell just rang. And it's not for 3rd period. It's the lunch bell."
My eyes widen, we slept through 3 periods? Well what do they expect? Mornings are meant for sleeping, not school.
"Damn, ok let's go."
She nodded and got her stuff, we both headed towards the door until I stopped.
She turned to face me with a concerned look.
"Did you just call me Henry?"
She had a smug look on her face now, "Yeah, I did."
She unlocked the door and waited for me to go. With a lope sided smile, I exited the bathroom.
"Are you not going to get lunch?" She said as she walked beside me.
"Nah, I don't like the food here."
"Please don't." I groaned a little.
Her face twisted in confusion, "What?"
"It irks me when girls say "same." It's annoying."
"Oh my gosh saaame. Like, I feel the same."
I playfully shove her to the side. I don't know how she does it, but she just makes me smile easily.
"Let's go sit over there." She took my hand and led me to the middle table from the left side.
"Do you usually sit here? Or do you go out?"
"I stay here. Just alone..." I say awkwardly.
"I know I might bore you with this, but I also have like 0 friends, so I'll just tell you."
She took a deep breath, "I saw the new designer clothes Michelle Scott released and it it beaut-I-FUL. You have no idea. I've been waiting for this moment." She gushed.
I chuckled at how passionate she seemed about clothing designers. The way her eyes lit up as she talked and imagined them.
"Her style is simply perfection. I don't know how-"
While Alexis was talking, I felt someone watching. I scanned the room carefully until my eyes landed on her. Her eyes looked dull, her eyebrows were furrowed in a form of sadness. Her cheeks turned a light shade of pink and she looked down. I was the reason she's like this. I'm the reason she's probably going to be more closed off. I shouldn't have yelled at her like that. I was stupid and scared. I was being a coward. I need to learn how to defend myself. I missed her. I missed her following me around, I missed how she would ramble about whatever. Or the way just her presence would make me feel safe and wanted. But I fucked everything up.
"Do you maybe want to go?"
Alexis pouted and smacked me in the arm, "You weren't listening."
"I-I'm sorry. I'm not into fashion." I said while rubbing my wrist, it stung a little, but I brushed it off.
"So? Doesn't mean you don't have to listen." She sighed, "I asked you if you wanted to come shopping with me."
"Please. Please. Please." She gave me the classic puppy eyes and I couldn't do anything but cave in.
"Fine. Pick me up at 3."
"Yes! Thank you so much!"
She stood up, and for a second I thought she was going to leave me, until I felt a pair of arms wrap around my neck. She squeezed gently and rocked me side to side.
"You're awesome Henry."
I didn't know what to do, so I awkwardly patted her head, "No problem."
"Let's go outside. We still have 35 minutes left."
I smiled, "Sure."
This time I took her hand and led her outside.
"Hey! You ready?"
"Pretty sure I am. Let's go."
I hopped in the passengers seat and buckled up. To say I was pretty nervous was an understatement. I never spent this time with the same girl for so long.
"We will be going to Victoria Secret first. I need new bras and underwear."
"I like how you're aren't embarrassed to say these things in front of a guy."
She stopped at a red light, "Wait, you're a guy? You should really cut your hair. It makes it hard to distinguish."
I crossed my arms and huffed, "I'm kidding, I'm kidding! I'm sorry Harold." She tried hugging me from the side.
A small giggle escaped my lips as I pushed her away, "Whatever, go!"
Alexis and I had finally made it Victoria Secret, we walked in hand in hand.
"Don't worry, this'll be quick. I know my size, I don't even have to measure."
I looked around the covered hot pink room. The store isn't bright, it was kind of shady in a way. It had women stuff all over the place. The smell consistent of the many perfumes they sold. It felt odd due to the fact that guys shouldn't even be here.
"Ok, I'm done, let's go."
She had 2 pairs of bras in her hands and 4 pairs of underwear. Why do girl want bras with decorations? It's under the shirt, no one will see it. What's the point of paying more when no one will see it?
"Hi! How are you?"
I felt my circulation stop in my body. She works here? Why? She shouldn't work here. She kept her eyes set on me and I mocked her. She wore a hot pink loose dress. She looked beautiful. Her hair was curled and she was wearing nothing but her natural beauty.
"I-I'm good. Y-you?"
My head snapped towards Alexis. Since when did Alexis stutter? She's always so confident as far as I seen her.
Scarlett's eyes left me and displayed a fake smile, "I'm fine as well... Alexis, right?"
"Yeah! Yeah, m-my name is Alexis."
"Today's your lucky day, you get a discount."
"Really? Oh my god, thank you so much!"
Scarlett placed the items in the slick plastic bag and pushed it towards Alexis.
"No Problem. It's my way of thanking you for helping me in History. Your total is 15.78. Cash or credit?"
"Credit please." Alexis rummaged through her purse and took out her long brown wallet.
"Wait a second... ok now swipe."
My gaze couldn't leave Scarlett's. Both of us just stood there staring at one another. As if trying to figure out what's going on in each other's mind. Her face soon became cold, her brown eyes sending me daggers. But still, I couldn't look away.
"There." The blonde girl said with satisfaction.
Scarlett returned her attention back to Alexis and smiled.
"Thank you," she ripped the receipt from the machine, "Here you go. Please come again."
"Sure will." Alexis said with a shy smile.
"Enjoy your day, Alexis," she chirped, "You too, Harry." She mumbled.
"Thank you, you too!" Alexis waved then let out a long sigh.
As soon as we exited I turned to Alexis.
"Ok, what was that?" I said folding my arms.
She kept walking, "What was what?" She asked innocently.
"Why all the sudden you start stuttering?"
"I'm human Harry. We all stutter once in a while." She rolled her eyes.
"We stutter when we're nervous." I said pushing her buttons more.
"I-i wasn't nervous."
I scoffed, "You did again. Somethings up."
"It nothing Harry. Nothing." She said before walking ahead of me.
It not nothing alright.
As soon as I shut the door, I felt some type of relief. I made my way up to my room where it was a mess. I laid face down and sighed. Today was a good day after all. Despite the fact that I saw Scarlett.
I soon shot up from my bed. Pain was surging through my body. More like my wrists. They were aching, it felt as if they had their own pulse. I could hear my heartbeat increase. I tugged on my sleeves, my swollen wrists were turning a dark shade of red. My skin was burning. With one single touch, it would sting. It was minutes later when the other one started to thump as well. I couldn't move them, any movement made me wince in pain. They were sore. But the pain didn't go away. In fact, it kept increasing. My surroundings started to become blurry. A sharp pain made me throw my head back in agony.
What's going on?