Dead Flower


3. Obsessed

The next following weeks I was obsessed with Shira. I almost reached the point of stalking her. She was unobtainable, but I wanted her, and I wasn't giving up.

It's like when you see a really awesome Porsche or something, but you can't afford it, which just makes you dream about it more. You hope that you'll one day be rich enough to buy it, but deep down you know you'll never be.

I'd go to every party that summer - hoping to talk to her, but every time I'd be ready to go up to her, and say hi, but then I'd just freeze. It drove me crazy. The guy who scored most girls, couldn't even say hi to one stupid girl, but thats just it - she's not stupid. She was amazing, beautiful, and.. Well I didn't really now much other about her, besides the knowledge everyone could find on social media. I loved her insta, which just made me realize how stupid this was. I was acting like some little school girl with a crush on Justin Bieber.

At the end of the night I'd always end up fucking some other cute girl, but I was still thinking about Shira. The next morning she'd ask, if we should date, but I'd turn her down.

"It's just not my thing", I'd say, knowing how hurtful it must have felt for her. They all felt used after being with me, and I knew. The small diamonds in their eyes just turned into stone the minute, I turned them down. I just didn't care enough to do anything about it. 

My dad were gone the weekend, so I arranged a party - invited everyone from school, though I only cared if one came. Shira was the only one I cared about.

It's crazy, how you can care so much for a person, you've never talked to. 







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