I smile. I wave. I spend my time making others happy. My life is perfect; I have a loving family, caring friends, and a clear path to my future. However, everyone cries over something, and everyone has something to fight against. And everyone has there problems in which are secrets; like that you are going to die very soon... and you can't do anything about it but to live life to the fullest.


1. Prologue

The room was empty. Not even a whisper infiltrated it. I glanced towards the doorway, hoping that somebody would be walking right through it to greet me; but no one came. There were no sounds coming from the hallway outside the room either. I'm alone. I sat up, maneuvering around the cords attached to me. The room and practically everything in it was white; the only color was outside a small window.

But the thing is, I wasn't in my room at my house; I was in a hospital room. The Harem's Hospital in Tokyo to be exact. Since I was a kid I knew I was quite ill, however lately I've been feeling even more off than usual. Soon enough my parents found out and I had no choice but to come here. I didn't want to make them worry more than I already do. But now all I can do is wait for the bad news.

"You're awake." I spun around to see my parents in the doorway, smiling. Their smile was the same as it always is; warm, kind, and welcoming. Behind them was a male doctor. By the look on his face, I knew the news was bad.

"Good evening." The doctor pulled ahead of my parents and came up to my bedside to check on some of the cords that were stuck to me.

"Hello." As I said this I quickly glanced towards the window, wanting to be outside and away from this fateful moment. But soon I dared to ask the question that I didn't want the answer to, "What's my condition?" I looked down at the floor. "There's no point in hiding it from me; I'm old enough to understand."

My gaze lingered back to the window by the time he finally responded, "Before I tell you that, let me introduce myself. I am Dr. Reisenfeld, but you can call me by my first name, Mason. And your name is Lilian, right?" I nodded, not wanting to talk.

"Well, your condition isn't very good Lilian. But is isn't extremely bad either." Mason paused. I could feel him tugging at some of the cords before he continued, "I really don't want to tell you this; I would rather just your parents know. But they want me to tell you. They said that they want you to live your life to the fullest." I could feel chills rising in me. I know what he's going to say next. "Lilian, within the next two years, at any given time, your sickness is going to stop your brain from working properly, and kill you." I turned my head sharply to look at him. My eyes were wide and I'm pretty sure he knew how I felt; frightened. I knew it. I'm going to die... and I won't even be able to finish high school with my friends first... Tears start to well up in my eyes. ​Or fall in love. I could feel myself shaking as he continued, "I'm afraid that there are no operations that can save you; all you can do now is to accomplish everything that you want to accomplish before you can't." My eyes widened even more as I stared at the doctor. I didn't have the courage to look at my parents' faces; by now they were probably crying. It would be hard knowing that your daughter is going to die soon and there is nothing you can do about it.

"So what exactly should I do?" As I got to the end of my sentence, my voice began to quiver and my heart began to race faster. Mason looked at me with the bluest of eyes. They were deep blue, and as I stared at them I felt like I was drowning in his eyes. They looked so sad and lonely.

"All you can really do is live you life as long as you can. However I would like to see you once every two months. But if you are feeling at all worse than normal, I want you to come here right away. I promise you that I will do my best to prolong your life. But this means that you have to do your best too." I can't cry in front of all these people. I can't brake down. I took deep breath and nodded. My body stopped shaking and my heart relaxed, letting me relax too. I'm okay. Everything is going to be okay.

I finally got the courage to look at my parents. They were crying, but they were also smiling at me. Mason swiftly walked towards the hallway and gestured for my parents to come with him. They reluctantly went, leaving me all alone again. 

Even though they tried to whisper, I could still hear their voices.

"Mr. and Mrs. Harp, I need you to stay strong for your daughter." Mason's voice.

"I know. We know. What should we do about school? Should we still send her to school or should we home school her?" Mom.

"Mrs. Harp, I believe that we should continue to let her go to a public school. However, if anything happens, come here right away, otherwise it could be fatal. Personally though, I just hope that her body will hold up for at least two years." I flinched. Two years... at the most. "How far into the school year is it?"

This time it sounded like my father answered," It's about half way through the year, but she's been stuck in the hospital this entire time."

"It's her first year in high school right?"


There was a long silence before Mason continued, "Alright then. For now I want to keep her in the hospital, but she should be released in maybe three days. You are welcome to stay with her. I'll have them make an exception." There was another pause before he continued, "I'm sorry, I have to get going. But if you have any questions, I can answer them next time we meet." I stopped listening, not wanting to hear anything else. Two years... an exception... school.

I turned my head to look out the window again. The trees are starting to get their green leaves and the flowers are starting to bloom. I want to go outside in the sun and I don't want to be cooped up in a hospital room. I sighed.

So this is what it's like knowing that you are going to die soon. It's a horrible feeling.   


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