Who Is Happy, He Is Right!

Who Is Happy, He Is Right! is a new book by the renowned writer Anatoly Nekrasov.

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1. Big family

Who Is Happy, He Is Right!

By Anatoly Nekrasov

 

Big family

 

Look around – and you will see enormous lie in relations between men and women in families. In reality, there are so many love relations outside family that true faithfulness in couples is scarce. No moral rules of the society, no religious commandments can forbid love, even inside monastery walls.

Great problems arise when in a relation, a third appears! Why problems? After all, usually, in this case a new love is born and grown, a strong and bright one, at least in one of the three! What to do in this case – live in lie? But this destroys the personality, lays problems in the fate of children, and lie will sooner or later inevitably manifest even bigger problems. Another variant that is more often, is a divorce with all the ensuing complications. The third variant is to kill love, but this is probably the most serious crime of man, the creator of love. Here, the Big Family way may be the most effective. In this case, we should proceed first and foremost from the desire of both to preserve relations and readiness to accept new relations. There are many complications on this way, but much less than those occurring when family and relations are broken.

Three causes of the family crisis

If we view relations between a man and a woman, a family, without the burdens of religion, traditions, and stereotypes, we will be able to see family problems, its true tasks most objectively, and out of this, outline a way that really leads to creating a happy relation. There are three main causes of the biggest problems:

Delusions about the principles and motives of creating a family. If a way is set wrong from the very start, the whole life goes wrong. This is why it is no surprise that only 5 to 6 per cent of families find the right way – mostly occasionally, unconsciously – and are truly happy. A stop in relations development, absence of growth of love. This leads to a break in the “resonance” of the pair, its lower effectiveness in life, and the increase of various problems. The result is a short life of such a family. New relations, love outside family, love triangles and polygons. It is almost impossible to escape this situation safe, and the family is under threat of a divorce or an unhappy life under one roof. Love on the side arises not only because of no development of relations in the family, but rather because there is not a vector love (that is to one person), but an unconditional love to all people installed in a human being. Whether we want it or not, we cannot lock ourselves to one person – it is against our nature.

The love for all people is there in a human being from birth! Just as well as freedom. Therefore, any limitations, even the most rightful, are broken. We see this in all ages and in all peoples. This is why there is no sense in limiting, instead, we should help people to become more aware and manifest love wisely. It is time for a more mature awareness where no aforementioned problems must occur. We are grown enough to set such tasks.

Refuse “property”?

Man tends to own. It is the greatest problem of mankind that manifests in all spheres of life, but the biggest harm it brings to love and freedom – the two sisters that cannot live without each other.

What if we refuse possession, through away the stereotypes, and follow the way of love and freedom, what will come out of it? I think, we will see the situation differently then and see different ways to solve the arising problems.

There is a simple and clear criterion of a true path – the growth of love, joy and happiness of all in the love triangle (polygon).

How can we increase love in such a complicated situation? We know that love grows with the growth of freedom. Hence, we should follow the way of more freedom in relations. Continuing the logical chain, we see that in is necessary to remove the sense of ownership of your wife or husband. Not an easy task, given the thousand-year tradition of possessing the loved ones. At present, some men have already grown out of the patriarchal ownership of wife, became generous and are ready to accept the fact that their wife can love another man and allow relations with him. Such men are few, but their number grows. I am not talking about those men who are ready to give out not only their wife, but also their soul for a bottle of gin, but about mature, wise men.

There are even more women who allow their husbands to have another relations. But often they do it not out of great love, but out of fear to lose their men, material values of children. These variants cannot be called evolutional, and we will not stick to them, but rather to those where freedom is granted consciously while love and happiness of all participants grows. It is the only way interesting for us, and we will investigate precisely it.

How to perform all the tasks – grow love and freedom, happiness and joy, long life of family relations and elimination of psychological problems? Not an easy task, as all who take part should not be owners, become generous and let their loved ones give love freely. How many are capable of this? There are just a few people and couples yet, but their number grows. They look for ways on their own, and most often get into complicated situations. There is a need for knowledge that will be able to lessen the number of errors, and, therefore, the amount of suffering on this way of relations between a man and a woman.

Only mature personalities can build a happy family, otherwise happiness will sporadic and short. More so, even more psychologically mature people should create a big family. It is easier to come to equality of all participants and get a happy relation in a state of psychological and spiritual maturity.

There are examples of entering big freedom and big love. Most of them are little known, but there are very famous personalities who built deep relations in triangles and polygons. For example, writer Ivan Bunin, scientists Albert Einstein and Lev Landau, politic Vladimir Lenin, actor Valery Zolotukhin… These people overcame personal stereotypes and collective consciousness, striving not to betray love and not to live in lie. In was not easy for them, mostly because of the judging society, but they had more joy and happiness. Not in all the examples relations were easy because of no necessary knowledge, the society being not ready to accept such freedom and love, and most importantly, unsolved inner tasks. People built relations intuitively, from the heart and based on the wisdom they had.

In a big family, honesty is not just an instrument, but an important part of relations. Let this metaphor explain the importance of honesty: love is air, freedom is space, and honesty is water. These are the three categories lying in the basis of a big family. Without water, there is no life, no form of biological life. There should be not even a hair worth of lie! In this case only there will be success. Relation in a big family is a different psychology, and not only because of the number of participants, but firstly because of the greater depth of relations, maximum honesty, subtle perception, scale and metaphysical nature of such relations.

Of course, not everything is so simple, there are organizational and domestic questions to deal with, but they are much simpler and cannot be compared to the process of divorce, especially if there are children in it, property, business… However, now we have knowledge that allows solving the arising problems more literately, and therefore, more simply and easily.

***

We have raised not an easy topic, but an important one. Around half of the population lives double-life, suffers and sees no way out. There is a social demand to solve this vital issue. It is time to develop theory and show the way out of the vicious circle. We must not interfere with love growing!

We must not be afraid that couple will lose its meaning. It will not happen because in an aware and free relation love in the couple grows! The swan song of the couple does not vanish but becomes an even greater reality due to getting rid of all impurities in love and first, of lie and lack of freedom. We cannot create a “star couple”, a “sacred alliance” without letting go of possession. It will all be an illusion. In a Big Family, these impurities go, melt as if in a crucible, and true freedom and love is born. And love not just grows, it becomes unconditional! That is really with no conditions of any kind.

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