A Clueless Zero

Cami Fezzeral has a cold. As everyone around her turns into brain-munching parasites, Cami soon realises she's just sneezed herself all the way into the apocalypse.
A Clueless Zero, a hopefully humorous take on current carnivorously catastrophic zombie cliches. (Entry for ZA: An Apocalyptic Writing Competition! )

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1. Welcome to High School

I wouldn’t wish this on my worst enemy, and believe me, I have a few. As I shift my backpack higher onto my back, I glance fearfully down the corridor. It seems empty. I could be wrong. I flinch back into the shadows at the sound of footsteps echoing further off into the warren of linoleum paved corridors. Not quite as alone as I thought. It’s too late to turn back now. With one last wistful look at the relatively safe outdoors I begin to creep down the apparently deserted hallway. I pull my hood up further around my face, using the battered and rust dinged lockers as my guide through the corridors.

As I turn the corner I am only moments away from reaching my goal with no unfortunate situations arising from this endeavour. A highly pointless and practically suicidal endeavour as Marc had called it. Unsurprisingly, he was right. As I reach the locker and begin to hook the key out from under my hoodie where it hangs on a chain around my neck, the bell rings. The metallic din echoes throughout the corridor and within seconds the hordes are upon me. I sweep the chaos of the locker straight into my rucksack, slamming the locker shut without a care for the lock. I take off through the crowd, elbowing my way none too gently through the throng of ambling figures, concentration fixed on zipping my bag up before I lose the fruits of my taxing labour. Of course, considering I had planned on getting out of here unscathed, you’d have expected me to keep an eye on the real problem here. The zombies.

Unfortunately, I’d placed far too much hope on the idea that they’d all be too busy staring at the phones in their hands or gossiping about the day’s drama. The drama, which if I wasn’t very careful, would soon be all about me. One of the many joys of high school, I guess. I keep my head down and pull my hood further up once more. As the outer doors come into sight, I up my pace and that’s when they turn. I realise my fatal mistake as I notice their gazes locking on my covered form and the way I’ve angled my face away from their prying gazes. I only notice the expensive designer shoe in my way as I trip over it and fly forwards, sliding ungracefully across the gum littered floor.

“Is that really you, Cami Fezzeral? I thought you were still in Peru? If I’d known you were back, we would have said hello a lot earlier.” She sniggers.

Sighing I push myself up, dragging my rucksack back onto my shoulder with an eye roll.

“I’m sure, Lottie.  Your greetings are always so warm.” I snap, raising an eyebrow in disdain.

Her perfectly painted lips tighten and I watch as her handpicked team of iPhone toting thralls tighten their formation around her.

“It’s alright girls, you don’t need to get any closer to her. I’m not going to hit her today. Frankly, I don’t have the energy or the inclination.” I finish, turning to leave.

A pastel manicured talon grips down on my shoulder.

“How dare-“

As I twist her arm down and around behind her back in a swift manoeuvre, her sentence is cut off by the shriek that tears past her matte lipstick. Her selfie squadron stop in their tracks as I hold my hand up to stop them.

“That depends of course, on whether Lottie has a death wish. Apparently she does. Now may I suggest you get out of my way so I can go home and die from this cold in peace? Much obliged.” I hiss, pushing Lottie towards her clones with more force than was truly necessary.

I finally have my hand on the door to leave when Lottie says something she’ll regret for the rest of her life.

“Well, if you’d just died the first time round, it wouldn’t be a problem now, would it?”

I imagine silence would have fallen over the corridor if that had been the end of it anyway. The fact that I then planted my fist directly in the centre of her face in response, certainly cemented it.

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