Life Through My Eyes

Hello, world! This is my diary. If you want to see what's inside a very weird and strange 15-year-old, come take a look. These are my thoughts and feelings about everything and it won't offend you in any way. Anyway, hope you like it! Wish me luck and comment if you like!

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1. April 8th, 2016


Dear Diary,

    Today was a great, fun day for once. At school, they did an activity called “15 minutes”. It’s supposed to represent how every 15 minutes, someone dies in a car crash which was caused by people under the influence or people who are drunk. I heard from my friend, Blue Eyes, who’s in ASB, that the juniors and seniors got to see a play where someone is drinking and driving and that person crashes with another person and people “die”. I thought that was so cool- not that people “died” but because she said that an actual helicopter was going to come and take students in there. I totally want to do that. Anyways, so since some people in the car crash “die”, the “family members” say a eulogy. Blue Eyes said that one was going to be the wife and the other was going to be a… I think a mom? I forgot. The whole day, a grim reaper would come during class and take juniors and seniors because they “died”. They even announced it on the intercom with the bells that they used in the olden days when someone died. At first, my friends, Birdy and Runner, were all excited about hearing it but then towards the end of the day it got annoying lol.  Blue Eyes said that the “dead” people would be taken to a hotel and they would stay there for two days without any electronics and they couldn’t see their families or friends. The police would go to their houses and inform their parents that they were “dead”. Of course, the families already know that their kid volunteered to do that so no one has a heart attack. :P

My friends and I all said we would definitely volunteer for that because we all wanted to go on the helicopter. Sadly, we still have a while before we become juniors. We’re barely freshman right now. I didn’t even get to see anyone die! I also didn’t even see the Grim Reaper! How fake! I heard from another friend, Tall One, that he would come around with his skeleton hands and sheathe and take the selected person. They would say a few good words and put something black on their seat and boom they were “dead”. To participate, you had to sign up and even then, you never knew if you were the one who was going to “die”.

Tall One wanted to “use” the bathroom during third period and go see the play. She asked if I would go with her and I was just thinking: “Are you for real? Why are you always trying to get me to do your crazy things when you have plenty of other friends who would do it with you?” Instead, I said, “Sure.”

 

“Yeah?”

 

Didn’t I just say sure? “Yeah.”

 

“What?”

 

“I said-”

 

“I never have anyone to talk to in this class.”

 

… \(-_-)/

Tall One does that a lot of the time so I’ve had to get used to it. It’s bothersome but she’s a good friend. Recently this year, she’s taken a liking to me. I don’t even remember how we started talking. We went to the same middle school but since the school’s system wasn’t really normal, I didn’t really talk to her. I mean, I saw her and knew who she was, but we weren’t friends.

See, over here where I live, they have a very, very weird system. I was in eighth grade when I moved over here, so adjusting took some time. All grades are divided in three groups and I was in 8C and Tall One was in 8A. Yeah, weird.

Eventually, I adjusted to their strange ways although sometimes I don’t even know some things worked, like what time we got out of school. It was a very good school though because the teachers made me do a lot of presentations and one teacher called, Mr. Weirdly Fun, made us do all kinds of hands-on activities. Like once, he made us do an advertisement which was really very embarrassing. We were put into groups of three and it was my friend, Skirties, and my best friend, Birdy. Skirties was mostly the one who was doing all the talking while Birdy and I were just in the back laughing the entire time. We even had judges who were some guys named, Super-Chill and Sherlock.

At the time, if I hadn’t liked anyone in my class, maybe I wouldn’t have been so embarrassed. Since there was a guy I liked in that class of mine, I was embarrassed. His name was Stupid, this I did call him. I don’t even know why I liked him, most likely it was my two besties fault: Birdy and Bunny.

We were just friends at first but then all of our (his and mine) friends started ganging up on us, saying that we liked each other. I kept trying to deny it to both them and myself but in the end, I guess they won. If I could do it all over again, I would fix that mistake because we both did some retarded things. It was mostly my fault because I was the one who told him that I liked him and we agreed to just stay friends but then things just got awkward. Let’s just say that we are no longer friends sad to say.

I kept trying to fix the awkwardness between us but sometimes you just can’t fix some of the broken bonds. I kept on texting him but he wouldn’t really text back. I got him a “present”- I admit it wasn’t much of a present because it was a two dollar bill although he did seem “excited” about it (I think he was faking just to be nice)- but he didn’t even text me Happy Birthday on mine. I was sad but I didn’t think it was worth wasting my time on someone who had clearly moved on with his own life. Sometimes, I still wish he would text but I know he never will because there was no reason to text me. Not even to say “Hello... it’s me”. I’ve already deleted his so that I couldn’t convince myself to text him. One thing that has always been a question in my mind though was: Did he really like me or was he just being nice? I never knew. I didn’t have the guts to ask.

Oh well, life is full of ups and downs. That was one of the downs. I don’t really like anyone right now and I’ve kinda given up any hope at all at being a girlfriend one day. I’m just not that type of girl. I have a very weird personality and I’m simply not “girlfriend material”. My now three besties, Smarty, Birdy, and Bunny, once said that I would most likely be the first one to get a boyfriend and I was just like: uh-uh honey. I think I scare guys sometimes.

Life is so confusing. I hate it. I’m really going to get lemons and travel the world until I find Life and squeeze those lemons in it’s eyes screaming, “FEEL THE PAIN YOU’VE GIVEN ME!!!” I wish but if I could travel around the world, I would not waste it looking for Life, although I would be on the lookout.

Well, I guess that’s all I’ll talk about today because I’m tired of typing so wish me luck with Life! Bye!

 

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