Kissing In The Rain (Calum AU)

I thought I had everything I needed. A perfect relationship, clean wrists and a smile on my face. My perfect relationship was the blame for the clean wrists and smile, until he ended it. I wound up right back where I began, with razors and tears and nothing could change that. All up until I met Calum.

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1. Slipping away

It's hard to lose someone you love. Harder if you learn that they didn't love you back. When I had the boldness to begin our relationship two years ago, we were both confident that it would last a long time. Two years isn't long enough with someone you want to spend your whole life with. Right now I am seeing the biggest disaster of my life play before me. As the absolute love of my life slips away.

"Jennica, it's just not working anymore," he says calmly. His hands tremble at his sides and a tear slips down his cheek. I look around us with a hurt expression on my face. Tears blur my eyes, but I don't need to see, I know the place we stand in like the back of my hand. Leafs swirl around us, picking up as the wind does. They are a vast canvas of orange, yellow, and red on the ground. They soar throughout this clearing, where he and I had our first kiss.

I look back at the ground and take a deep breath before looking back up at him.

"Jacob, please. I...I can do better! What do you need me to do? I need you! Please don't do this to me..." I whimper. My thoughts are scattered and twisted. I can't seem to get a hold of what I am feeling. Hurt, scared, lost, broken, abandoned are all words that could describe my thoughts right now. He looks back up at me, shifting on his feet and blinking more tears out of his cloudy green eyes.

"Jennica, I love you. I really do, I just can't handle our relationship anymore. It's getting to serious," he winces, like he regrets saying that. I stare in disbelief. Can't handle our relationship? Getting to...serious? Where is this coming from? "Jacob, we were so happy! What do you mean you can't handle our relationship? Where is this coming from? This is so not like you! Look, look at these," I say, forcing my sleeve up my arm to expose scars of my past self, the one that he healed. "This is because of you! I stopped because of you, Jacob! Don't you get that? I need you!" I say, glancing back up at him. His eyes are trained on my mangled wrists, scarred and now dripping with tears. I fall to my knees as memories of us flood back into my mind. Kissing at the edge of the pool, four-wheeling into the canyon, movie nights at my house. I squeeze my eyes shut and sob into my hands as he stands above me.

"Jennica, I..." He stutters, stuffing his hands into his pockets. "I gotta go..." He whispers and walks away, leafs crunching beneath his feet. I watch as his black vans take step after step, further away from me.

The sobs get worse, until I become a crying heap of broken glass on the forest floor. The sky begins to grow dark, stars entering my eyes which have become red and blotchy. How could he just walk away from me like that?

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