My thinking dairy

just some of my thoughts. my mom told me it would help me if i wrote down what i was thinking and this seems like a good idea. you can look at it if you want but i don't it would be very interesting.

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14. April 24, 2016 8:22pm

I hate that I judge people by their looks,

I hate that I'm rude sometimes,

I hate that I'm dumb,

I hate that I'm superficial sometimes,

I hate that I can't remember anything,

I hate how I get irritated easily,

I hate how I let people hurt me,

I hate that I can't make people stop,

I hate that I'm weak,

I hate that I hate myself,

I hate how whiny I can be without noticing it,

I hate how much of a failure I am,

I hate that I can't seem to do anything right,

I hate that I'm messy,

I hate how I hurt people without noticing,

I hate how I speak without thinking or think without speaking,

I hate that people think it's funny to hurt me and I can't stop it,

I hate how I can't control some things,

I hate that I scare easily, 

but most of all I hate that I'm so damn pathetic.

But it is my fault that I am this way so I put a smile on my face every day to forget that self-hatred I feel. It works most of the time sometimes I get that feeling to cry but it never comes out. I haven't cried in ages I've taught myself not to so now it just won't come out. Sometimes I want to cry I think it would be easier but I can't no matter what I do I just can't but that's ok because I'm perfectly fine as long as nobody else knows, I'm perfectly fine.

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