His Girl

4 years after Damon Salvatore had passed away, Elena Gilbert stopped looking for solutions to bring him back. She stopped believing that there was hope she'd see him again. The first year was hard, but it became easier. After four years, she finally moved on until the feeling of deja vu washes over her.

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3. Two. Reminiscing

The Salvatore boarding house is the place where we first met. As I drive up to the house, memories come flooding back into my mind. I step out of the car and walk up to main entrance. It’s empty now that both brothers are gone.

It’s strange to think that I would actually see the boarding house empty for once. Usually one or both brothers are home. Upon entering through the front door that is left unlocked, I remember the crow that flew past my head. I turned around and would meet with his blue eyes.

He was wearing a black t-shirt and his hair was matted in a way that was sexy. He first told me about Katherine Pierce, the Salvatore brothers’ first love. I remember Stefan trying to convince me how bad Damon was.

How he is the one to blame for Vicki’s death, Mr Tanner’s death, and so many others. I head upstairs into Damon’s room. I remember when he was bitten by Tyler Lockwood, who is a werewolf. He had seen Rose, an older vampire, die because of werewolf bite and what it did to her. He was there for her.

I remember meeting Rose, Trevor, and Elijah Mikaelson who I later discovered is one of the Originals. As Damon is dying, it is discovered that Klaus’ blood was the cure. He’s the only hybrid that I know of. His blood was to be exchanged for Stefan’s loyalty to Klaus.

For the months that Stefan had left with Klaus, I remember being with Damon. Stefan had become a full-blown ripper with no humanity because Klaus compelled him to turn it off. The more Damon and I spent time together, the more I realized that I had feelings for him. I kept denying everything because I was afraid to admit that I had fallen for Damon.

Damon’s bed had been untouched since the day he passed. Everything is left the way it was. Stefan’s room was a mess when I walked into it. Papers were all over the floor, bed unmade, and a broken window. I look outside, seeing that he had thrown the chair outside. It was now left broken on the concrete ground.

Stefan’s journals that he’s kept for over a century were torn. Pages upon pages were scattered all over the floor. I looked down and picked up a picture of Katherine Pierce taken in 1864. I find it funny how she was the reason both brothers fell for me. Of course, I’m nothing like Katherine.

I set down the picture on the table and walked out of the room. Going down the stairs to the basement where the brothers keep their blood bags and the dungeon where they keep prisoners. Sometimes it was effective that room. I open the cooler and noticed that most of the blood bags were gone.

I figured that Stefan must’ve taken most of them. I couldn’t blame him for taking them. I sigh and close the cooler. I head back upstairs and entered the living room. I sit down on the couch before the fireplace that wasn’t lit. The many talks we’ve had on this couch.

The boarding house was like a second home to me. I was always over here, especially when I dated Stefan. The next generation of Salvatores will live here, if that was a possibility. No one is touching the boarding house, not while I’m a firm believer they will be back. If Stefan comes back, it’ll be a surprise for sure. If Damon comes back, maybe it’ll be a miracle.

As I leave the Salvatore boarding house, I notice Damon’s Camaro sitting out in front of the house. I open the door and close it. As I sit in the passenger seat, I look over and imagine him sitting there beside me.

I imagine the way he looks over at me and smiles when I’m sitting in the passenger seat sulking. Mostly it was about Stefan then. I get out of his car and head back to mine. I take the drive to the cemetery and take the walk to the Salvatore crypt.

I open the gate and enter the crypt. Damon’s coffin hasn’t been moved. It is still there. Maybe Bonnie came by and is trying to figure out a spell to bring him back. I take out my diary and sit down.

Dear Damon,

This isn’t usually how I start my entries, but I’ve decided that I’ll be addressing them to you from this point and on. I know you are watching me from up there in heaven, or wherever you are. I don’t know if you’re at peace or if you’re finding a way to come back to me. I wish you were here in my arms. I need you. I’m not ready to move on. I don’t have the strength to move on from you. How am I going to survive a year without you? Let alone, the rest of my life? Would this have been easier if I was a vampire? I doubt it. Guess it would be so much worse, who knows. Maybe I would just give in to turning my humanity off. I’m sure you wouldn’t want that life for me. You’d want me to continue on and live my life.

You’ve given me strength for so long. Now I suddenly feel weak. Let me know that you’re out there. I want to know that you’re always with me. Give me some sort of sign that you’re here. I don’t know where Stefan is. I think he’s changed his number. We left on a sour note ever since you passed away. I think Bonnie is giving up. Caroline doesn’t care anymore. Matt, I haven’t seen him lately. He has been calling me though. He is making sure that I’m still alive. I haven’t called him back to say that I am. Jeremy is doing well. He’s not suffering as much as I am. Alaric, well, I don’t know what kind of shape he’s in. Occasionally he’s been going to Mystic Grill. He comes home drunk and I worry about him.

Ric and I look out for each other, but we’re useless without you I guess. He’s more likely to move on from you. He hasn’t met anyone new yet. I’m sure you’ll send someone his way. I went to the boarding house earlier today. Guess it’s been a while since I’ve ever stepped foot in the house. I wasn’t sure if I was going to break down and cry. I almost did when I sat in your Camaro.

Now as I sit here and write to you, I feel like I’m talking to you. Even though you’re not responding back, it feels like you’re listening and I feel a lot better. I hope you’re still listening or watching me from above because I still love you Damon.”

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