Niall lost everything on horses. I was drawn into this because I was his girlfriend. We were going to lose everything, when he finally asked his best friend Harry Styles for help. Harry was rich and had everything that one could have. It was he who changed everything, but at the same time he just wanted to help, yet I was drawn into something that would be the end of everything I was used to know. I was stuck between two men.


23. Fate?

I had to go to the bathroom and Niall let me do so, because there was no window or a single way I could escape. I showered and I put on clean clothes. I listened all the time at the door and I was afraid of what happened when I wasn't with Harry. I was relieved when I noticed that Harry was okay. He sat on a chair and Niall sat on the bed, with his gun aimed at Harry. Niall didn't smile, but he noted exactly every move as I made. I sat next to Harry on a chair and I felt the cold tension in the room.


"How does it feel to lose control?"
Nialls cold voice echoed in the room. I looked down at the floor and I was ashamed. This was my fault? I really had to put an end to our relationship, when I did, but I could have done that in a different way? I heard that Harry took a deep breath, but he chose to remain silent. That made Niall laugh cold towards us.
"I understand you!" he hissed cold. "It's only now as the two of you realize who I am. I'm the man who don't accept that others treat me wrong."
I looked up. I looked straight at him and I tried not to look down on the rifle.
"Niall, this time it's you who did everything wrong, on your own, by pointing a weapon against us. Violence doesn't solve your problems."
Niall snarled.
"But it makes me feel better."
I swallowed. I looked straight into his cold blue eyes but I noted, however, that he was still human, deep inside. Maybe he didn't regret that he acted this way, but he felt something.
"And how do you solve that problem if you kill us?" I whispered. He looked straight at me and he hesitated.
"I haven't planned that far." he muttered hoarsely, and he frowned. "But it feel better if I act. I just don't want to sit home and wait to get my life back."
I understood him. He had lost everything. Me, all the money, life, and he lacked the ability to keep a job. I also sensed that there were those who wanted their money back from him, but he had nothing to give them.
"It's not my fault!" I got fast forward. "I couldn't handle the life as we had, and I'm sure I had left you, even if Harry hadn't been there for me."
There was silence in the room. Niall hesitated, and I saw that my words hurt him. He lowered his eyes and he looked down at the floor.
"You mean we didn't have any chance?"
I couldn't care about his feelings. The truth hurts, and I wanted to be honest.
"No, we had no chance."
Niall frowned and I saw that he was close to tears. He looked up at me again and this time he seemed to understand.
"But I wanted to try, I really wanted to change myself for you!" he whispered hoarsely. "I made that a few days and then everything just fell apart."
I tried to think about Harry and myself. This was indeed about Niall, but I wanted to survive.
"Please, don't kill us because of what has happened." I said kindly. "We were still on the road to slide apart and you can't blame Harry. He wanted to help us. He didn't plan to keep me."
After that we heard the police sirens outside. There wasn't one car, or two. There were a lot of cars. Niall responded immediately. He stood up and walked over to the window. He looked like a beaten man and his arms hanging loosely at his sides. I noticed that he began to cry, but he didn't want to show us those feelings.
"And if I let you go?"
Harry seemed to see a solution, but I showed him with my hand that he had to be quiet. I then looked at Nialls back again.
"If you let us go, I promise to forget what just happened." I replied quickly. "All families fights and I'll tell the police that this was a misunderstanding."
Niall sobbed but he made an effort to hide it.
"Okay, you can go."
Harry didn't hesitate a second. He took my hand and he pulled me toward the door. I looked all the time at Niall and I felt a lump in my stomach. Niall held tight to the rifle, but the rest of the body was like a sack of potatoes. The last thing I saw was his back.


The entire floor was empty. I suspected that all had chosen to leave their rooms, after this had happened. Harry ran and he had to drag me along the corridor. When we got to the elevator we saw the first police officers. They had guns in front of them and I knew where they were heading.
"He's armed!" I heard Harry tell them. They went past us and we quickly slipped through the door to the stairway down. It was then I heard it. A single shot was fired and it didn't come from the police. I turned around and I saw that everyone reacted. I panicked, and without thinking I tore myself away from Harry. I ran away from him, toward the room. Then everything was like in a dream, a nightmare. The police tried to stop me, but I was determined. I ran past them and I ran into the room. I don't know if I really saw the truth, but what I remember still today, was blood spatter everywhere and a lifeless body on the floor. Someone took his arms around me and pulled me out from the room. I heard screaming and I heard the call for help. My eyes became moist, and when I realized that Niall was dead, everything burst for me and I began to cry inconsolably.


I was in a fog. I didn't know where to turn me. Someone took me to the elevator and down to the entrance. I was forced into an ambulance and someone gave me a sedative injection. It was as if I lost control and I was shaking. Damn, no one could understand that this was my fault? I made Niall to choose one way out from this hell, and it was the wrong path to take. I screamed, I cried and I waved with my arms until the syringe worked and I slowly got into a vacuum.


I woke up in the hospital. The room was empty and cold. The white walls made me think of the winter and I froze. I noted that it was daytime outside, but I felt totally black inside. I was alone and I felt abandoned. Niall had left me. The tears came back. I saw before me the last image of him. A body on a floor and a pool of blood on the floor. I closed my eyes and I tried to think of something else.


"It's going to be alright!"
Harry held my hand tightly, and he sat next to the bed. He looked at me with his kind face and he did everything to get me to come back. I opened my eyes and I looked straight through him. Yes, I had feelings for him, but my conscious told me I had to blame myself. It was I who was behind all as had happened. It was my fault that Niall chose to come after us and I should have understood it long before it happen. I had got the chance to stopped him.
"He's dead!"
My words made the smile disappear from Harry's lips. He took a deep breath and he nodded.
"He chose to take his own life."





"One day we'll get married!"
Niall laughed and he nodded at me.
"But first we must have jobs and houses and all that."
I threw myself into his arms. I loved him even that we was just eighteen years old and everyone said it wouldn't last forever, but I trusted him. I knew he wanted to be by my side until we died.
"When, where and how?"
Niall kissed me and he thought mockingly, just to tease me. He had the largest smile and I just saw the love in his eyes.
"When I'm a millionaire." he whispered teasingly. "But that will take too long time. How about soon, really son?"
I nodded and I kissed him. I was happy and I was where I belonged.
"And we'll have children and we'll have all that as we want!"
He nodded happily and he watched me closely. He sucked in all that was me.
"Do you know one thing!" he whispered hoarsely. "I'll stay by your side until I die."





The police came to the hospital and one of them sat down on my bed beside my legs.
"Hi, I'm Andy and I have charge over the investigation." he said kindly. "I'm just here to ask you some questions."
I swallowed and I nodded a little bit. He took out a pen and paper to take notes, then he took a deep breath, as if this was a hassle.
"Can you in your own words tell me what happened in the hotel room, that night?"
I chose to tell him all. I explained how Niall came into the room and what he did. But I chose to also tell him that I had promised to put it all behind me, not everything was his fault.
"After all, I made him take his own life." I whispered hoarsely. I felt the tears came again. Andy looked long time at me and he thought about my choice of words.
"Do you know that he chose to do it on his own, without you?"
I sobbed and I shook my head.
"I did it all wrong and I treated him wrong. I broke his heart, and I got him to lose his mind. It was me who did it all, but he acted."
Andy put down the pen and the paper in his pocket, then he looked at me again. I saw at him that we weren't done yet, but he surmised that I couldn't cope with more. He smiled a little bit and then he stood up.
"Does it help you if you find out that he wrote a farewell letter before he came up to the hotel room?"
I wiped away the tears and I looked up at him. What?
"To whom?"
Andy gulped and he looked toward the door, where his colleague was and then they nodded to each other. Andy looked at me again.
"We had to read the letter as evidence and explanation in the case. I can let someone come here with the letter, so you can read it?"
I nodded quickly and I sat up.
He smiled.
"Yes maybe!" he whispered hoarsely. "I will go down to the police station and I promise to do what I can. It was a letter from the heart."





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