Finally Happy...

The strangest of times can create fond memories

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1. Finally Happy...

Beep... Beep.... Beep...

 

The sound of my heart monitor was all I could hear, the only sound in the room besides my laboured breathing

 

Beep... Beep... Beep...

 

The door opened a blond head poking through, her eyes red and bloodshot from months of crying and sleepless nights. 
   “Hi mum” I whispered hoarsely as she crept into the room, moving so carefully it was like she was afraid that any sudden movement would send me into the eternal sleep that wouldn’t be too far into my future. I didn’t have long left. We all knew it.

 

Beep... Beep... Beep...

 

Before she could say anything, the door opened again, this time showing my siblings: two brothers and a sister, all older than me and all crying. I hated the crying, hated them being sad for me. 
   “Hay, don’t cry please don’t” I said, whispering again as it was all that my throat could manage now. It was all I could manage really, whispering. I couldn’t move, walk, laugh or talk properly without ending up in excruciating agony. I’m on bed rest now, they said that it would help, help make those last few weeks more bearable. They were wrong though, it wasn’t, not at all. I stare at the ceiling for hours on end only to be drawn back into the real world by the door opening twice in the evening, admitting my family into my personal hell. They made it better though, made me happy, or as happy as I could be considering.

 

Beep... Beep... Beep...

 

Today I could feel myself being weaker than I ever had been before and it scared me. I knew that I wasn’t going to make it to see the morning sun rise again and I wanted to spend my last day with my family, making them happy for once in a long time. 
   “Hi mum” I smiled at her as she opened the door to my room, this time with my family waiting behind her 
   “I was thinking that we could play a game, maybe ‘the game of life’? I heard that it was supposed to be fun...” I broke off coughing like I had so many times before, but this time I ended up laughing. After a moment, everyone else joined in, laughing like we used to, without a care in the world. Laughing like we were truly happy again.

My heart felt lighter than it had in months, seeing them happy

 

Beep... Beep... Beep...

 

Hours later we were playing game after game, each one ending in tears of laughter and curses at one another, accusing the others of cheating. We were happy, really happy and so was I. I was happy, truly happy at seeing them so happy, no tears that my illness had caused.

 

Beep... Beep... Beep...

 

That night, as the sun set outside my window, we were watching a movie, my favourite, despite the fact they all hated it.

 

Beep... Beep... Beep...

 

The film wore on and I grew tired, more tired than I had ever been but I was happy. Finally happy that I was spending time with those I loved, my final hours were with the only people that I cared about and would miss me when I was gone.

 

Beep... Beep... Beep...

 

    “Mum.... I’m tired,” was all I said “I’m so tired mum. I’m sorry,” she knew what I meant, they all did but they didn’t cry. I didn’t want them to

 

Beep... Beep... Beep...

 

We talked and laughed and quoted old movie lines and cried with joy at my sister’s impression of Russell Brand, I always did like it when she did that. She knew I did.

 

Beep... Beep... Beep...

 

The monitor sped up, the beeps coming faster and closer together

 

Beep... Beep... Beep...

 

Beep... Beep... Beep...

 

    “I love you guys, you know? I don’t want you to be sad. I’m not” I couldn’t say anymore, my throat wouldn’t cooperate enough to let me

 

Beep... Beep... Beep...

 

Beep... Beep... Beep...

 

Beep... Beep... Beep...

 

    “I’m happy now. I really am..... The pains going to end” I managed to whisper into the silence that was growing inside this dull, dull room

 

Beep... Beep... Beep...

 

They all crowded around my bed, saying their ‘goodbye’s and ‘I love you’s

I smiled

I was happy. Truly happy to be dying with those I love around me

 

Beep... Beep... Beep...

 

    “I love you...”

 

Beeeeeeep........

 

I was gone, out of this life and onto the next;

And I was happy, at last

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