The Proposition

Anger can be easy to feel but for some it's easier than others to feel that raging spark ignite.

Alexandra Henderson has always fought a constant battle with her anger. Made worse by the cocky Evan Escott who won't leave her alone at her new school, her aggravation at her step dad Mark and the constant pressures she faces, can she still fight it? And can she, as several pieces of her past haunt her, let the past be a lesson and learn to move on? Can she help herself to find a place where she can be happy and free?

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22. Twenty-Two

~Chapter Twenty-Two~

I pulled Daz all the way to the bench just outside school. I let go of him and sat down heavily, as I was still breathing angrily. He sat down beside me. 

"I should let you cool of first, but this can't wait," Daz said and when I looked round at him his eyes were so soft. Then suddenly he was too close. And then his lips were on mine. 

In a few seconds I reacted, pushing him away from meaghast with what he'd done. 

"Don't." I told him and tears had already flooded into my eyes. 

Daz straightened his denim jacket, looking a little peeved. 

"Sorry," he apologised but he didn't sound it. 

"You can't just turn up, be all protective and then kiss me," I told him and instead of just being angry, I was upset. So upset. 

And I was tired. Tireof dealing with people and their actions. And tired of feeling like this. 

Daz sighed. "Al, I didn't mean to make you feel bad. I'm honest." He paused slightly, looking me in the eye. "I have just really missed you." 

I looked away, brushing some tears away. "You fucking left me." My words were dark and quiet but they still seemed impactful. 

"I know, I know! I'm an arsehole," he said and he was looking sad. I tried desperately not to let his face bother me but it really did. He sighed. "You must think I'm such a shit person. I was a shit person. But it's different now!" 

He tried to reach out for me but when I glared he retracted his hand.  

"Look, please, give me a chance," he sounded almost pleading. 

Internal conflict started up again. I wanted to say yes but I also wanted to say no. 

I swallowed hard. "You told me I needed to give people a chance to prove themselves, right?" 

He nodded at me. "I do remember that." 

I sighed and slowly got up. This was right. 

"Well I did," I told him and he looked confused. I continued slowly and pointed back to the school, "and he's standing inside there with a bruised face because my anger overtook me." I gulped in air quickly, starting to cry"I gave him a chance. I started to see a different side of him, past anger. Then the anger took over again and I ruined it." Tears fell out of my eyes thick and fast as I spoke. My heart was aching.  

Daz said nothing. 

"See, I tried Daz, I really tried what you said!" I cried and my tears were really pouring. "So no, I won't give you a chance because I will spoil it. I gave Evan a chance and I ruined it. All my chances I will ruin because I can't fucking control myself." I'd raised my voice now. "I'm such a mess!"  

Daz tried to reach for me again, this time I let him. He took hold of my hand, and stood up. I waited for him to say something but he only stared at me. 

"Daz," I whispered his name gently.  

He cleared his throat and he sounded sad. "This is why I left you, I couldn't deal with this. But-But I shouldn't have done." He told me and more tears fell down my face. "I should have tried to help you. I shouldn't have just walked out and left you to suffer alone." He paused and I could see little tears in his own eyes. "Let me help you." 

I breathed in and out shakily, overwhelmed and emotional. I didn't know what to say. I wanted to dissolve into nothingness so I didn't have to really think about all this or feel as awful as I did. 

He was right. I needed help. I was such a mess, angry and tormented inside by different views which clashed all the time. I wasn't even sure what I truly felt inside about most things. I couldn't let people in, in fear that I would scare them away with anger. I'd been blind to things, like Evan's affections, because of my anger. 

It had ruined everything and it was ruining me. 

"Please," I mumbled through tears and my legs grew weak. I fell into his arms and he held onto me tight. "Please help me." 

"I will," Daz replied and I couldn't have cried harder in my life. 

We just stood there outside the school. I was missing lessons but I didn't care, I was in no fit state for them. 

Finally, my eyes had dried out. Maybe there were just no tears left in me. I moved myself from his arms, rubbing my sore puffy eyes and felt embarrassed about the state I was in. Daz gave me a half, weak smile. 

"I have a proposition," he said to me and I looked up at him slowly. 

"What?" I asked, voice hoarse. 

He put his hand on my shoulder. "I'll help you, if you'll be with me, together again." 

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