Angel Meets Rebel

"Wait, where are we going?!"

"Come on, Hood. Learn to live a little."

//Calum Hood Fanfiction//

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14. 14

Delilah's POV

"Psst! Calum!" I whispered. I rubbed my arms, fixing the beanie on my head. One word fact about Adelaide, the weather is like a girls emotions when she's on her period. It's happy and warm one second. Then bitchy and really cold. I hate it.

I heard a groan and then a thump. What. The. Hell?! "Calum? I swear to god if you are naked, or if someone else is naked, I'm gonna-"

"Delilah?" I looked up to the window. Then looked back down. The boys is shirtless... I repeat, the boy is shirtless.

"Uh, y-yeah it's me." I stuttered.

"I'm not naked, Del." He chuckled, walking away from the window. I sighed, relieved. He came back to the window again, a shirt on this time. "What's wrong? Do you know what time it is?" He asked, rubbing his eyes, his black hair a curly mess.

"I-I need somewhere to stay the night." I said, nervously.

"Oh... Hold on a sec." He disappeared again, to God knows where. I waited patiently, anxious to know where he had gone off to.

Suddenly, the front door opened and I was scared. What if it was his mum or something? What the hell would she think?

"Come on. You gotta be quiet though, everyone's asleep." I smiled as Calum beckoned for me to follow him. I walked behind him up the stairs, to the first room on the left. "So... What's happening?" He asked, shutting the door behind him as I sat in his chair.

"Uh... Not much, you know, just got kicked out of the house." I said, shrugging my shoulders.

"Wait, what?!"

"Calum!" I hissed. Tells me to be quiet when he's the one yelling.

"But... How?"

"I don't know. She just told me to leave and I did." I said, playing with the zipper on my jacket.

"Delilah-"

"I don't need sympathy, Cal... I just need to stay here for tonight. Just so I can sort out some things. Then I won't bother you." I said, quickly.

"Okay... But just remember... You don't bother me. Ever. I like having you around." He said in a low voice.

"So... I'll sleep on the floor, right?" I asked, standing up.

"What? No, I will." He said, dismissing all of my objections until I was lying in his bed, and he was lying on the floor.

"Calum, I feel bad." I said, sitting up for the tenth time.

"Don't worry. It's fine." He said, turning onto his side so his back was facing me. I sighed, falling back onto the pillow. I looked to the alarm clock on the bedside table, 2:47 A.M. I tossed and turned, tried counting sheep. Nothing. Not even a wink of sleep. I stared at the ceiling, biting my lip. I knew what I was going to do. And I hated doing it.

"Why?" I whispered, feeling my eyes start to sting, "Why does my life go through hell, but never come out?" I shut my eyes, feeling tears roll down my face. Hot, angry tears, sprinkled with the emotions of fear and sadness. I shook my head vigorously, sitting up and sliding off the bed, making my way through the dark to the only place I'd be able to stop myself.

I looked around quickly, before opening the door to the bathroom. Quietly opening each drawer, each cupboard to find the one thing I needed. Constantly wiping the tears away with the sleeve of the jumper Calum had given me. Until, I found it. Cooped in the corner of the shelf, tucked away from everything.

** TRIGGER WARNING **

I gently ran the razor down my arm, over the scars that had formed over the years. Over the feelings of hatred, abandonment, over the feelings of everything. I slashed it over my arm again and again, praying that I wouldn't cut as deep as I normally would, for this was not my 'hell'. It was Angel's and ha can't be scarred by the real me. The girl that is depressed, self-harming and a nobody to the ones she used to love.

I sat down for a few minutes, leaning against the closed bathroom door, the slightest scent of blood filling the room. I stood up, turning the faucet on, cleaning the razor before placing it where it was before. Then, dabbing the fresh cuts with some toilet paper, I discarded them. Before leaving, I caught a glimpse of myself in the mirror, making myself stop.

My face was pale, eyes wide,  the slightest bits of wet mascara around my eyes and hair a ruffled mess. I chuckled at myself. This is the real me, isn't it? 

** END OF TRIGGER **

I tiptoes back to Calum's room, passing his still figure as I climbed back onto his bed, pulling the covers over myself.

Calum's POV

I heard her leave. I heard her come back. And I was worried.

I sat up, looking for her. But she was lost in the blankets. "Hey, Delilah?" I whispered. I knew she wasn't asleep, I could just tell. "Delilah?" I asked again, a little louder this time. 

"Hm?" She asked, sitting up, quickly wiping her cheek. "What's wrong?" 

"You okay?" I asked. 

"Uh, yeah... I'm fine." She was lying. I knew she was. 

"Alright then. Night." I lay back down, back facing her. If she was uncomfortable with telling me, then I was not going to push her. It's her decision to make, not mine. 

It was silent for a while, but I couldn't go back to sleep, knowing something was up. There was some shuffling and then an exasperated sigh that trembled slightly. "Calum?" 

"Yeah?" I asked, not sitting up yet. 

"C-Can..." I sat up, she was sitting on the bed, covering her face with her hands and then she removed them slowly, laying them in her lap, keeping her gaze down. 

"What's wrong?" I asked, standing up. 

"I don't know, Cal. I don't know." She hiccuped, shaking her head, her hands shaking. "I don't want to cry Calum. I don't want to cry anymore." 

I climbed onto the bed, sitting against the headboard, holding her tightly. I felt so unbelievably bad. Delilah Willows was my best friend and I didn't know anything about her life. The life outside of school. The life at home. "Hey, hey, it's going to be okay. Just tell me what's wrong." She pulled away, sitting up straight, her cheeks slightly puffy. 

"I-I don't even know where to start." She said, rubbing her eyes. "My parents don't want anything to do with me, to the extent where they've kicked me out of our house." Her voice quavered as she spoke, lips trembling and tears falling down one by one. "They n-never cared about me, Cal. Never. I-I don't know what I did to make them not love me, but they did. I didn't know what to do. Everyone hated me. No one would talk to me because I was too intimidating or rude. No one loved me. And it's still the same." 

"I love you, Delilah Willows." 

"Oh, Cal, please..." 

"No, I mean it, Delilah. I love you. So fucking much you would never understand. Every time you laugh or smile because of something stupid I do... I know that I'm at least doing something good in this world." I said, gently, holding her hand. 

"But Calum, you don't know the real me. The real me is a fucked up teen trying to sort her life out. She builds her walls so high so that no one can come and knock them down. She cries alone, because that's what she is most of her life, alone.

** TRIGGER WARNING ** 

She escapes her fears and sadness by harming herself." She pulled up the sleeve of the jumper she was wearing, inch by inch her skin being exposed. Skin exposed by countless scars.

** END OF TRIGGER **

"No, Delilah." I whispered, holding her hand tightly. "You can't do this to yourself-" 

"Then what should I do? Huh? Tell me? Because I would do absolutely anything to stop doing it." 

"You should be happy." 

"For what?" 

"That you have me... And your friends that love you." 

She was silent for a moment, pulling the sleeve of the jumper down and breathing in a shaky breath. "Then tell me, Angel... Why don't my parents love me? Why don't other people love me? What did I ever do?" 

"You did nothing, Delilah. It is and never was your fault." I pulled her in, holding her protectively. "You still haven't told me why you call me Angel." I said, my eyes slowly closing. 

"Because you're my one hope. An Angel of hope that makes me believe I can get through another day. You're my Angel, Calum." 

So... Feeling like this book is depressing af, but don't worry, we have some Himmings drama coming to ya soon, so that should hopefully lighten- oh no... They've got problems too... Goddamit. Oh well. Until next time! ily xx

PS if you ever need someone to talk to, I'm right here. I love you so much

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