↟BREAKDOWN↟ HORAN

he thinks i don´t care about him anymore, but i care more than anything. ☾

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6. chapter 6

- NIALL -

"babe come here." I whispered with my deep voice as she entered the dark room in my old outworn black shirt. My head was still a little bit dizzy from drinking a few beers this night. She sat down on the bed and gently ran her palms up and down my thighs, which made me clench my whole body like always when she did this. I held my breath and waited for her to go further, but she stopped.

"Niall." she said in a weak voice and lifted her gaze to meet mine.

Her dark eyes were swollen from crying and she looked tired.

"Helen-" I sat up and wanted to pull her body against my chest to hold her gently, but she turned her back to me, avoiding my arms, which reached for her.

"I found your whiskey bottles." she whispered and didn't dare to look into my eyes.

I clenched my fists and bit my lip like always when I needed to think about to find the right words. I didn't want to offend her, but drinking alcohol was fucking my business. 

"Do you remember, when we promised, we would keep each other safe? A-and now you just drift away and I don't know how to slow it down." she said with her voice breaking away at the end, because tears welled up in her eyes again.

"Stop it for heavens sake." I growled angrily and she flinched under the weight of my voice.

She distanced herself from me until she sat at the other end of the bed, knowing, that I wasn't sober at all and as I lifted my gaze to look at her, it hit me. She was looking at me in fear, afraid of that I would do something to her.

                                              

With a gasp I shot up in my bed and breathed heavily. The room was dark, which calmed me down, because it meant I was alone with myself. I leaned back into the pillow and closed my eyes again, trying to calm my breath down.

There were so many things I needed to talk about, but Helen was gone.

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