If only you knew

Writing is the best therapy. My life was turned upside down when I was diagnosed with epilepsy, but fear is always the worst of it. Isn't that because you can't remember what actually happened?

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1. This is how it is

Ordinary is a word

Looked at like

A monster

The word

Is heard

But ignored

Still I reach

For it, but only

If you knew why

 

The fear paralyzing

If only I can rise

Above it.

Gaps in the memory

But why should I know

How?

Just close your eyes

Rest is all you need.

But only if you knew…

 

Can I be ordinary?

No. Shoot for the stars.

You're strong.

You're my hero. 

You're stronger than this.

 

I’m frozen.

Do you know where you are?

Do you know what happened?

Dazed, confused.

They mutter words

Just rest. Everything is fine.

You're one strong girl.

Yeah right.

 

Let me reach to be

Ordinary, I’m so

Close, but so far

Pl-

Do you remember

Anything?

No not again.

I can barely move.

My muscles roar in pain.

It was worse this time.

Can’t you see ordinary

Is better than this.

Don’t worry

All is fine.

 

I waken in the light

But soon all goes black

Do you remember?

What’s your name?

Where are you?

All is fine.

 

The day’s blend

Into each other

The main component being

Fear.

What if it happened here?

Has it happened to others?

What if I hit my head?

What if I begin to bleed?

What if no one is there?

Will I remember?

Will I know?

All is not fine.

 

I close my eyes

Remembering the darkness,

I’m trapped in my fears

It will happen again.

They will ask me

What’s your name?

Where are you?

What day is it?

I don’t know

But don’t worry

I’ll forget every time.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

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