My Weakness

This is mainly my story and about how I found Jesus. Hopefully this can speak to you too. So enjoy! (also on Wattpad.)

(By the way, the cover is of Cara delvingne. Thought you should know ^_^)

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3. Anger

A fool gives his full vent to anger, but a wise man keeps himself under control. ~Proverbs 29:11

Anger is what I'm very much familiar with. Anger is sometimes connected to pain. 

What causes my anger is the fact that I don't fit into any group. I'm not even kidding. I'm the worst at socializing. Also, my own best friend doesn't realize when she leaves me out of stuff. 

It makes me angry. It used to really make me angry, but now it upsets me because she doesn't know exactly what she's doing. Like, I don't fit into her group of friends. She's my best friend, but her group of friends are really not the type of people I see myself hanging around. Also, she has a boyfriend. Some of you may know how this feels...

Her world revolves around him. It's just not the same. Nothing is the same. It used to really make me angry. Sometimes it still does. I can't say anything to her either, because she can't stand when I'm upset. When I'm upset or mad at her about something and try to explain why, she tries to insult me in every way possible. "Why do you always do this?" She usually says.

I'm really quiet around her now because when I try to speak, I get ignored. I'm also afraid that she would judge me. 

One time she told me that she believed people chose me over her. That's far from the truth. I have very few friends. Every time someone comes up to us, they would hug her and not even look in my direction.

Not that much anymore. I try to talk to my friends more now. God is working in my life.  

Although,that did hurt. She always talk about how my life is perfect also. I have troubles in my life and I know she does too. But she can't possibly think she's the only one. Nobody's life is perfect. We all struggle. No matter if we have good family or whatever it is. We all struggle.

My up side is my family. They are great and that bit of my life is perfect. The down side, I can't focus on God most of the time and I need to work on that. My thoughts get carried away. Also, school is just horrible. My friend probably can't stand her haters but at least she has confidence. I don't have an ounce of confidence. I stay shy because I'm afraid people will judge me. 

That is that, but I still can't leave her. She's my best friend since kindergarten. Also, I feel like it's my christian duty to stick around. Even though there are so many reasons for me to push her away. I can't. I forgive her, even if she think that what she done wasn't wrong, because anger won't solve a thing.

There is also a different kind of anger. One that is directed toward yourself. I had so many battles with myself. It didn't solve anything. 

Have you ever did something and you think you were stupid for doing it? Or what you done wasn't right and you just did it just because? Do you get angry at yourself when that happens?

There isn't any reason to stress over that. We all sin. We just need to ask God for forgiveness. 

A couple of weeks ago there was this guy that called me dumb... Just a random guy... I don't even know exactly why he said that. I wasn't mad. But doing that even to a random person...saying anything that would make them feel down is not the way to go. If you ever think about saying something mean to someone...don't.

There is this other anger that is directed toward our enemies. There's this girl at school that I can't stand. Although, I feel more bad for her than angry. Have you ever heard the phrase, "keep your friends close, but your enemies closer"? God wants us to love our enemies. That can be hard. Very hard. But that person could be going through a battle you have no idea about. Of course they shouldn't let it out on you. But that might be there only way of letting go of things. Pay them kindness. Again I know it can be hard. Remember you're doing God's work. It will make you feel better afterwards.

What I learned was that anger makes us miserable. But faith and kindness doesn't.

Also...do you ever get angry because your tired and stressed out, and then some random person decides to talk to you on the WORST day possible? You get annoyed, right? 

I used to get annoyed all the time because of this girl. She always text me and I always got so annoyed that I would lash out. I always felt bad afterwards... Now she's one of my best friends. Haha. So,  it's funny how things work out. I decided I like having her around. She didn't do anything so I had no reason to be angry.

Be careful when you get angry because you might say things you can't ever take back.

One last thing. Anger towards God. I was angry with God before. Things might happen and you ask God "why?" Just remember he always has a reason. I know such bad things happen and you wonder how there could possibly be a reason for that. Trust God. Trust him even in the hardest time. He has a plan. 

Okay! So, that's it for today! Please Comment! You are welcomed to comment things that make you angry. Also, you can ask me questions or comment something you want me to talk about on the next chapter... And... One last thing... if you have prayer requests you can comment also. I will most defiantly pray for you or anyone you want me to pray for. Thank you!

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