In My Mind

We all have our thoughts about one another. It can change in one second or over several years. It depends on how you feel about yourself. Are you going through a phase or just getting too many hormones out of your birth-control pills? Well, it can definitely change a whole day. Why not a relationship?

With school, work and a lot of bad karma, it's hard to keep it all together and stay calm. How do people manage to stay calm and take control or advantage over the situation?
It's always easier to just watch a movie, where Channing Tatum gets hurt by a girl, and magically it all ends up with a romantic ending. But does everything really go that way? I don't think so, but I'm gonna try and find out.


2. Peter Pan

"I am a lost boy from Neverland"

I've always been confused. Or at least after I became a teenager. I'm 18 now and still not sure about what to do. What to do with my life, what to do with him. He's always in my mind, even when I'm in the fitness.
I actually asked him out before I went there today, knowing he might not even answer until late. He answered when I arrived. And I swear to the God I don't believe in, I've never been training that hard. Right now, 2 hours later, my body is completely devastated. But my mind isn't! He also, kind of, asked me out another day. We're going to watch a movie, and I'm really excited. He doesn't even need to talk to me or look at me, I just need to feel his heartbeat or his skin against mine, then I'm happy. So even if we're only going to watch that movie with nothing before or after, I'm happy. Even though he's pretty good in bed and I really need some sex with him. He's gentle and kind. I was actually a virgin before him, but that doesn't matter. These thoughts are mostly for myself. I'm writing this as my personal diary. I know it's the internet and someone might figure out who I am someday, but that will be the problem by then. Right now, I'm in a happy place.


"There was a time when I was alone. Nowhere to go and no place to call home. My only friend was the man in the moon"

I don't know. I know a lot of my sentences begins like this, but as said above, I'm confused. And maybe a little insecure. But really, I like this song. It's not really anything with the melody, but the lyrics is absolutely stunning. It says so much, and to be honest (and a little weird), it reminds me a bit of him. The whole story about Peter Pan is amazing and sad at the same time. But because you have to think of a wonderful thought, it still brings out some happiness, even in the worst times. He's around to make you feel better, be in a better place. I know the real concept about the whole fairytale, but I like it much better, when the kids doesn't die. Depends alot on my mood.

He might be my Peter Pan. Redhead (lovely), makes me feel better about myself, and in general just makes me happy. Takes me to this place you call Neverland. If this means I will never leave the feeling, leave him? I will stay there forever.


"Neverland is home to lost boys like me, and lost boys like me are free"

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