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4. Failure

I fail on a daily basis, whether it's failing an assignment or failing to keep my mouth shut. I cry everyday at least twice because I fail and that causes me to cry more. I know you think that I'm a cry baby now, but I'm not, I'm going through things that only a quarter of you would understand. I lost my dad when I was in first grade and I'm still not over it, I lost one of my best friends because he put a gun in his mouth and pulled the trigger because of the same things I'm going through, it's been a little over a year since I lost him, I lost my cousin to the exact same thing, people think what they say doesn't affect us, well they are wrong, it beats the shit out of us. If it didn't affect us that bad then why have I lost two extremely close people in the past year alone, why is there approximately 42,773 suicides a day in the United States. I fail to not cry, but I fail everyday because of people. I fail to not beat myself up about the things that people say, I fail everyday. I am a failure, at least that's what people make me feel like. 

 

I can't take much more failing. I fail over and over each and everyday. 

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