Me And My Broken Diary

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  • Published: 15 Feb 2016
  • Updated: 2 May 2016
  • Status: Complete
Darkness cannot drive out darkness; only light can do that. Hate cannot drive out hate; only love can do that.
~ Martin Luther King, Jr.

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1. PATIENCE

 

JOURNAL ENTRY I :

 

15.02.16

Dear Valentina,

'PATIENCE' - the ability to accept delay or trouble calmly

Honestly Valentina, tell me for how long can someone be patient? Especially someone like me who has trust issues :( I can hold back my anger for a limit, but after that.... OUTBURST!! POP I will burst like a balloon and let go of all the anger I have. But that is something I will regret in future.

I am really scared Valentina. My outbursts are something which will hurt the other person a lot.... I feel like a lonely celebrity at times, I know many people but I can only trust a few people. I have many friends, but I just can't trust them; some are too clingy, only talk about themselves, show off, don't listen to others blah...blah...*sigh*

Though there is one girl I know (lets call her Ann), she is  a year younger than me. Since many weeks whenever I am sad or depressed she always ask's what happened... and honestly her asking me how I am means a lot to me. Okay Fine! I know I am weird ;p

Valentina you might be wondering, how on earth is this related to 'PATIENCE' ?! Well it is, let me begin today's story incident:

Once upon a time.....

A KITTY (B*tch) RUINED MY MOOD EARLY IN THE MORNING !!!! THE KITTY SAID MEAN THINGS TO ME, SPOILT MY MOOD AND.... SPOILT MY HAIR! I felt so bad... and guess what I did? NOTHING!!! Literally I didn;t do anything. I seriously wanted to punch her face and open her hair and hit her and kick her butt. But I didn't do anything. Why?! Why?! Because of this stupid thing called "PATIENCE"!!! Ughh I was so frustrated. How can someone be patient when the other person is such a B*TCH!  

Ann saw all this happen, she was so shocked, she literally wanted to slap Kitty and she would have even done that but... she asked me "Zoe, I don't understand you ? Are you hiding your emotions or controlling your anger because if I was in your place she would have been 6 ft. down right now!!" I gave her a sad look and said "PATIENCE". And after that I smiled, hiding all my emotions and walked away.

Okay so... that's the story Valentina. Now you tell me for how long should I keep up with 'PATIENCE' ?! 

Current mood: "Want to dig a hole and bury myself in it" :(

Life is so sad at times. I don't know for how long I can bear with this... Love you. Take care.

REMEMBER : "Realizing that holding back your tears, and controlling your anger isn't the easiest thing"

~ Zoe

xox,

Z

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