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3. Cāngkú Shísān's Story

"So this is what it's come to?" said Officer Ugami. His was poised on the desk. He was arrogantly blowing imaginary specks of dust off of his precious ray gun. With one hand, he held the phoenix belt buckle."Little Mr. Fish Boy is caught trying to break into the bank...carrying a dragonfruit as a weapon?"

Shisan frowned. "Do you have to call me 'Fish Boy'?" he asked.

"YOU THINK YOU'RE A FISH!"

"But...I am a fish!"

"No, you're a boy!"

"NO, I'M A FISH!"
"No, you're a moronic young adult!"

Shisan glared angrily at the officer. He's just clueless, he assured himself. He's just clueless. He thinks you're dumb. He thinks you were carrying a dragonfruit. He doesn't know the truth. He's just clueless. He was now moving his hands, which were tied to the back of the chair, holding the "dragonfruit". HE is CLUELESS! He is! He smiled to himself. He doesn't know! I know what to do! He started rapidly moving his hands behind his chair, knowing that it would get the officer's attention quickly.

"Boy, what are you doing?" asked Officer Ugami skeptically. "You aren't trying to do one of those weird things where you suddenly have the lightning-thingy come out of your hand, are you?"

Shisan smiled even larger. "Possibly..."

Officer Ugami strode over. "Listen, Fish Boy," he said mockingly. "You need to stay out of trouble. I just was supposed to interrogate you. Don't kill me, or you're dead." The officer was giggling, as if the thought of both of them dead was the funniest thing he'd ever heard.

"Come here, Officer," Shisan said, trying to cover the laughing under his own voice. He's clueless.

The officer inched closer. "What do you want, Fish Boy?"

"What? I c-can't hear you!" called Shisan, as innocently as possible.

The officer walked over. "What do you wa-"

His sentence was interrupted by the sound of electricity hitting metal. The handcuffs holding Shisan's arms behind the chair snapped.

Officer Ugami covered his head. "What the-?"

The electricity was coming from the dragonfruit.

"Hey, IDIOT!" Shisan said. "This isn't a dragonfruit! This is a gun!" He acted all sweet suddenly. "Surprise!" he said nastily.

Shisan walked over to the officer. "Gimme back my buckle, too!" 

The officer, quivering with fear, handed the criminal the phoenix.

Shisan pressed a button on the buckle. Seconds later, there was a crash above his head as the dog the size of a horse ran to join his owner.

When it reached Shisan, the dog leaned down to allow him to crawl onto the saddle that was mounted on his back.

When he was completely settled, Shisan called to the dog, "Lawerence, giddy up!" He pulled out three treats and sat them on the dog's head.

The dog, obviously enjoying every bit of this, flipped it's head back and let the treats fall to the ground, next to a terrified Officer Ugami. Then, Lawerence gobbled the treats down quickly and sped out the door.

The officer, feeling as though he'd failed at his task, whispered to himself, "There goes Fish Boy again. I don't see how an evil mastermind could be so stupid to think that he's a fish..." 

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