The judgement

Has some triggers; suicidal thoughts implied. Hi sorry if its terrible its my first time writing and i said i would write a piece for someone who was sick of the generic happy endings. This is in progress and not completed yet more to come.


1. A day in the life

Imagine a small mousy teenage girl, no visible features, that stand out as any sort of pretty but just an average girl nodding off from the sound of the English teachers voice going on and on never to be stopped.Got that image? Great well thats me on a good day and let me tell you today certainly wasnt a good day by any standards.

From the first moment that my alarm clock refused to wake me up, I knew that today would not cooperate with me no matter how much i tried to stay on the right course. Cursing at my lateness i ran around grabbing necessary items that would try get me through the day, these may include, earphones, to drain out the noisy annoying people that i have the misfortune to share a bus with, food so my stomach doesnt rumble loudly to make my face go as red as my hair , and money for lunch in the shop down the road because the canteen food is poisonous. Shoving on my converse to rush out the door was were i realized my first of many mistakes. what you may ask would that be well me being my clumsy self didnt close the lid properly of my coffee to go cup leading it to slip and scald my leg and also causing me to wear a skirt as that was the only back up uniform bottoms i had. Tears swell up catching me in my throat as i was briskly to my bus not letting the over come me." No this is stupid stop crying you dumbass this is why nobody likes you, you know." That thought haunted and burned into my skull as i climb the mountain off steps leading up to the judging stares of fellow students "Dont make eye contact they will find out you a baby crying over nothing " rushing to the middle of the bus but tripping before i get to the safety of my original seat. Laughter filled the air around me fogging my brain, stuck in horror to the cool ground my face grew hotter by the second, stumbling up to my seat i sink into the plush cushions wanting the ground to open up and drag me to hell where i clearly belong. Then the bad thoughts came the ones i had been working so hard to drain out and my wrists started to itch like they were eagerly waiting to tell some fantastic story so they couldnt sit still. Music, i needed it it was my drug my escape for when things got bad, turning the volume up fully and letting the thoughts be drowned by the beat and words that spoke to my soul. 

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