My Weird Hell

very random don't judge me!


1. Bears Right? \(=w=)/

I died when I was camping. I was arm wrestling a bear and I won all his money. Then when I was walking home alone his friends jumped me. I then died a week later choking on beef jerky.

    I woke up in a chicken coop chickens of many different colors were clucking and playing with calculators. I looked around confused at the rainbow colored hens.  It then clicked in my head that I was the size of the chickens.  A shadow crept into the coop causing me to stiffen as it loomed in. I turned around and backed up slowly staring at the ginormous bear wearing a lumberjack coat. It stood on its front paws eating beef jerky through its left ear. The bear sneezed just as a unicorn flew over its head. His eyes derp as he looked at the chickens.

“Ich liebe dich hühner! [I love you chickens]” said the bear in a joyful tone.

His fishy breath rafting up my nose. I gagged then threw up glitter cupcakes. He noticed and looked right at me. “IL ya une chaussette dans le poulailler! [There is a sock in the coop!]” The bear then exploded into confetti.

“First German now French! Where the hell am I?!” said the thought bubble right next to me.

My mind tried to proses what was going on. Then my train of thought hit me. Literally a train labeled ‘Iven’s train of thought’ slammed into me. The pain was excruciating but nothing was broken. The chicken coop was now replaced with large train tracks and a locomotive being driven by...Hitler?!? He then shouted in a heavy German accent, “Taco Tuesday und karaoke night!”

            The train continued on its track, heading to a cliff. The train traveled off the cliff where a Pikachu grabbed it and ate the train. Then out of the sky discord swooped down and ate the Pikachu. He then threw on his sunglasses saying, “King of chaos baby!”

            The sunglasses then slid down his nose and his eye bulged when he saw Molestia. She was twerking her rump close to the computer screen for you. Her radio blasting ‘Baby got back’ in the background.

            I woke up in a dark room, the floor was soft and marshmallowy. I sat up taking a piece of the marshmallow floor and took a bite. My face twisted at the sour taste. Luckily there was a wrench next to me so I used it to untwist my face. I looked around, my hands were barely visible. A figure appeared a light shone brightly from it. The figure was blurry before grabbed the blurry figure and pushed it away, “ok Jerold! You’re only supposed to be here for two seconds we rehearsed this!”

            The blurry blob walked away blubbering to itself. The person behind the blob thing was my old friend Selena. She then fixed her robe dress thingy and reset herself. “Uhh…what’s up doc?” I have gray rabbit ears and was munching on a carrot.

            She now looked at me a bit annoyed “Really, you really had to say ‘what’s up doc’.” She rubbed the bridge of her nose in annoyance.

            I smirked and nodded. She rolled her eyes then faced me. I then noticed her halo floating above her head. “Oh what the hell you’re an angel?! What did I do wrong?”

            She cratched the back her head a comical sweat drop by her head “I don’t know I guess cause you ate beef jurky?”

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