Death Wishes: a Twilight and Hunger Games Crossover

Bella Swan has bitterly hated Carlisle Cullen for not helping her father when he most needed it, causing the loss of her father. When she is chosen at the Reaping to go into the Hunger Games with Edward Cullen, she sees her chance to exact her revenge. What will happen in the arena?

Edward Cullen is a vampire so he is indifferent when he is chosen because none of the weapons can harm him. What happens when he falls in love with Bella Swan?

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7. Chapter 5- Training

Bella's POV

I stepped through the doorway of the Training Center. This was my one and only chance to learn new things, not that I need it since I have been training for this since I was 8. But it was also probably my one and only chance to talk to Edward, possibly Edward Cullen, and find answers. My chance to decided should I try going after him first thing in the arena for revenge or hold off until I had to kill him, so I would win the Games.

There's a big chance that Jacob or some other Career you guys are going to ally with would kill you before you can kill him. Then, you won't win., countered the uncertain and horrible voice in my head. What I would give to shut it up and make what it says false. Sadly, I couldn't. It mutter things in my head, taking down my self-esteem and making me uncertain. The most horrible part of all the muttering was that everything, every single word it uttered inside me, was true.

When the rest of the tributes entered, a woman named Atala, apparently the head trainer, stepped up and began explaining the training schedule. I listened carefully. It suddenly hit me that the schedule was exactly like the one Charlie created for me when I started training.

My eyes burned and tears threatened to fall. I bit my lip and blinked furiously, desperate to hold back the tears that was close to falling at the familiarity, the aching in my chest, the flooding of those painful emotions- pain, grief, loss that weighed down on my chest like a boulder and stabbed my heart like a knife- that had struck me time and time again after my father and my teacher died.

We were allowed to go anywhere and do anything, following the instructions of you mentors if they have them- or if they cared, in my case- but we were not able to engage in any combative activity with other with other tributes; there are fighting partners to practice with.

We were dismissed and I, knowing Jane and Alec could care less about what we do and what would be good for us, would be mentor-free and could go anywhere. I would still have appreciated it if there was someone who have won the Games advice me on what to learn but I doubt Jane and Alec had paid any attention to these stations at all when they were the tributes here. They had no need. 

As I looked around at the survival skills, the fighting techniques stations, I realized I didn't need to go to any of them. I had learned them all during training. Silently, I thanked my father.

You may be out of practice though. Don't practice knife throwing. Safe it for the Gamekeepers. Keep it a secret from the other tributes. Go practice. Don't waste time., whispered the critical voice of Charlie. I could feel my eyes tearing up again. I will not cry., I told myself. I won't. I am a Career tribute.

I head to the weapons with the other Careers, it seems, and practice throwing them, handling them. I noticed with satisfaction that after two years without using the weapons, I'm still very capable.

Out of the corner of my eyes, I watched Edward as he floated from station to station, seeming bored and was staying at them longer than needed so he could keep up the human facade.

It's amazing how you were blinded to this hidden world for so long, never knew it was real, and when somebody reveals the truth to you, it's as if this other world has always been there, like it was obvious it was there, like it's impossible to not miss the signs everywhere.

"So.", drawled a blonde-haired boy whom I assumed came from District 1, startling me out of my thoughts. "You, lover girl. Wanna be allies or not? You know, take down all the pathetic little hunks of meat over there before we turn on each other? Victoria"- he nodded at the girl from his district with flaming red hair and a rather arrogant expression- "and I already agreed so you'll have to be allies with both of us."

I didn't like him or Victoria. Or their attitude or anything about them, to be honest. I opened my mouth to say, one, my name's not "lover girl" and two, to reject his offer, say I'll rather ally with the Careers from District 4 when Jacob answered for us. Shooting me a look, he answered, "Bella"- Jacob emphasized my name to inform James my name isn't "lover girl"- "and I already agreed to be allies so you'll have to accept both of us. Is that okay? If it is, then, sure! We'll love to James!"

James nodded, satisfied. He held out his hand and so did Victoria and we all shook hands like little kids pretending to be serious, business-like adults.

I grabbed Jacob and dragged him a little distance from them with the excuse of trying out the  camouflage station.

I had no artistic talent so I definitely needed to work on that.

I actually had no special talent at all- I wasn't the best tribute for the Hunger Games there is in District 1,2 or 4; I didn't have any musical talent or anything else. I was just plain and unnoticeable, not standing out but not being horribly bad at everything either. Everything was mediocre about me.

The mentor at the station flinched from fear at the sight of us. I couldn't help but grin.

"I don't like James or Victoria. Can't we just ally with the District 4 tributes?", I hissed, pretending to be coloring my body with different paints to make me blend in.

"Their work with weapons are insane. Seriously. There's no way we can overcome them without showing what I really am and that would cause us both certain deaths by the Capitol even if we survive the Games. Allying with them would give us the time needed to plan how to take them down. And after that we'll...." He trailed off. 

I didn't want to think about the fact that I'll have the kill Jacob in the arena or he kills me. Knowing his secret has caused me to care about him once more. At least one of us wouldn't be able to survive, come out of the Games alive.

That thought hurt though I have never thought of him more than a friend. I pushed it away.

I drew mindless lines on my arms, nothing compared to the sophistication of Jacob's work.

I felt Jacob stiffen and turned around to glare at someone. Of course, he still had to keep up being an arrogant person and he has been doing that a lot since two years ago so it really wasn't a strange action for the arrogant Jacob to do. He would glare when he's in a bad mood or hates the person or they actually did do something to offend him- things that I thought was silly but Jacob thought was a big deal and made a big deal out of.

"Greetings, Isabella", a gentle velvet voice spoke from behind me.

I whirled around.

Edward stood with his pale, chalk-white hands clasped behind him and a pleasant smile on his face. His eyes were  burning, scorching, a melting gold, that turned my thoughts into incoherency and I couldn't help but stare at his face, mesmerized by those golden eyes, as he looked back at me.

I could feel my face heating up with my easy blush. "Oh. Um...." I struggled to form words and finally coughed up and answer, a lame one. "Hi."

He didn't offer a hand for me to shake. Why? I have never touched Jane or Alec's or any vampire's hands before though I now realize Jacob's hands are hotter than the average human. What temperature, texture would the hand of a vampire have?, I wondered.

I noticed Edward had a strangely frustrated expression in his eyes as he examined my face and, when they flickered to Jacob, hostile. "Can we speak in a place a little more private?", he asked Jacob. I was shocked by his carefully composed and polite manner and tone of voice.

Jacob glared at him and said curtly, "Fine. But you better bring her back alive."

Edward flinched and nodded. "Thank you. I will bring her back alive, no matter how hard it pains me."

I wondered what that meant.

He lifted a hand and waved me towards him as he drifted walked away, movements amazingly sinuous and graceful. I walked forward as if dragged by a magnetic pull, feeling remorse as I watched his graceful steps forward, knowing I'll never be able to be beside him and look like I belong there. At least not as a human. There's no way Jacob would let you change. Even if you wanted to. Which you probably won't., I told myself.

We reached a far corner in the room and he leaned against the wall, casually folding his arms across his chest.

My mouth was dry and I forced myself to speak. "So. What'd you want to talk to me about?"

He ducked his head to my eye level and I could feel my face heating up. "Carlisle's sorry, Isabella. For what the ignorance he beared your father that day when you were sixteen. I want to know if there's anything one of the Cullen family could do for you, however small or big, to make up for your loss."

So he was the son of Carlisle. I had guessed correctly. Not that I cared at the time.

All I saw was red. I didn't bother to tell him I liked being called Bella. I didn't care that I was going to scold a vampire who could kill me with a twitch of his hand and fighting to keep my voice low, I spoke, "Carlisle left Charlie to die. And you know where that landed me? Two years of abuse and training deprivation from my mother. You think that saying sorry"- I snarled the word-"and doing some deed for me would make it alright?"

Tears welled up in my eyes as I thought of my father again. I furiously blinked them back. I will not cry in front of him.

He didn't look surprised at my outburst, his face perfectly expressionless, and nodded. "I know that we will never be able to make up for the ignorance that day. I understand. We, Carlisle especially, are truly guilty and sorry. Just remember that we owe you and if there's anything you need, you can ask us."

His calmness cooled me down also and I was embarrassed for speaking to him like that.

He walked back towards the camouflage station, towards Jacob, James and Victoria, and beckoned when I didn't followed. I quickly went after him. When we reached the station, I opened my mouth to say sorry but he just nodded politely to the mentor at the station, Jacob and I before going back to where he was before.

As I watched his retreating figure, I felt so strangely sad. I couldn't focus on what I was doing and picked at my food during lunch, trying hard but failing at trying to be normal.

He never spoke to me again.

I watched him out of the corner of my eye during training and for as long as I can before he was out of sight.

Jacob knew me too well but didn't try to pursue the subject until we were alone.

"You're acting so weird. What did he say to you?", Jacob said.

"Oh. Nothing important.", I lied. But I was a horrible liar, always have been, and he saw right through my pretenses.

"Don't lie to me. What did he say to you?", Jacob said through gritted teeth, grabbing my arm as I tried to walk away.

I wrenched it out of his grasp. "Leave me alone", I snapped. "You know me well enough to know that I would tell you when I want to or when I'm ready. And I am not ready, okay?"

Jacob didn't bothered the subject again, to my immense relief.

I felt so regretful as I picked at my food during dinner, thoughts wandering again and again to Edward, with his velvet voice and polite manner. But I couldn't take back the words I said to him.

No matter how much I wish I could.

Edward's POV

I stalled as long as I can, afraid of the idea of seeing Isabella Swan again, afraid of the idea of smelling her blood again, to feel the burn of her blood in my throat, afraid of the bare control.

How much better it would be if I could hunt here. But drinking humans would only cause my control to lessen., I thought wistfully to myself.

I knew I couldn't stall any longer. I will not disappoint Carlisle., I chanted to myself. It became a mantra, a chant, as I walked to the Training Room. I will make sure I won't disappoint Carlisle.

I stepped through the door, but not before sucking in a breath from outside the Center. Clean air not yet saturated with Isabella Swan's scent.

I joined the group of tributes around Atala, holding my breath and slightly shifting my shoulders so I at least look like I was breathing.

We were released and, ignoring Woof and Cecelia, I floated around and learned from different stations, staying as long as I needed to keep up the human facade though I was able to easily memorize and master each skill.

The mentors were either staring at me because of my handsomeness or shying away due to the other feeling I radiated and even though their conscious mind doesn't register the danger around them, their subconscious did.

My breath was held the entire time, not daring to breath just yet, glaring at anyone who tried to make conversation with me so I could save my air for when I talked to Isabella and communicating with nods and- occasionally- shrugs.

I knew I had to talk to Isabella sooner or later. Why not get the weight of my shoulders now?

As I neared them, I heard the werewolf, Jacob, whose name I learned from listening to his thoughts and their conversation, talking with Isabella though he called her Bella. I wonder why?

They were obviously very close, from Jacob's thoughts to their way of conversation and easy talking, and I felt jealousy born and grow inside my heart, multiplying hundreds of time until past the point of the amount a human could bear- it's part of becoming a vampire and luckily, I am not human- until I felt like snapping the werewolf's neck so I could have her all to myself.

Why would I feel jealousy, of all things? She was a killer, a Career, for the love of all that's holy!

Jacob's wet dog smell has not found its way into my nose yet and neither did her delicious scent, thankfully, though the urge to kill the natural enemy in front of me was just as strong.

There was no sound where she was supposed to be, no sound of thoughts. Why?

Steadying myself, I spoke softly through my teeth, using some of the air I caught from outside the Center, "Greetings, Isabella." Catching myself just before calling her Bella like she apparently likes to be called because I wasn't supposed to know her nickname.

Jacob glared at me and she whirled around, surprised.

"Oh. Um.....Hi.", she replied as red crept up her neck to her face, lighting it up to a beautiful color. What was she thinking?, I wondered, suddenly frustrated. What caused that blush?

I didn't offer her a hand to shake, as was the polite greeting of two strangers. I knew she would be repulsed by the coldness, smoothness, hardness and most of all, strangeness of my skin.

I vaguely noticed the hostility I looked at the werewolf with. Why couldn't I hear her thoughts?

I finally noticed things that I couldn't notice from far away, the way I was only able to look at her during the only time I could- the Tribute Parade. Bella had a silent beauty that captured my eyes, a pair of deep and expressive brown eyes, atypical in the world of brown eyes where almost all people who have depthless brown eyes. Almost. With one exception. Bella Swan. How could she be a killer, of all things?

At least you have something in common with her., a cold voice that hated the very being I am whispered inside me. I couldn't listen to that voice now.

"Can we speak in a place a little more private?", I asked Jacob, carefully composing my polite tone of voice.

She seemed shocked. At what?

Jacob just continued glared at me and said curtly, "Fine. But you better bring her back alive."

I flinched at the reminder of her body, cold and dead in my arms, her warm blood rushing down my throat, making me feel warm and human for a second before the feeling fades. My throat ached for her blood. You will never drink her blood. You haven't drank any human's blood in centuries. Don't start bow.

I nodded to Jacob. "Thank you. I will bring her back alive, no matter how hard it pains me.", using the rest of my air. I'll have to take another breath later. Keep your control. Don't disappoint Carlisle.

will bring her back alive. I won't allow any other way.

I lifted a hand and waved Bella towards me as I walked away, desperate to be as far from her as could count as polite to talk another gulp of air so I could speak. I heard her clumsy footsteps behind me and suddenly thought, She would be so mush less clumsy if she was to become a vampire. But to take away her humanity, to make her as cold and hard and spineless and soulless and monstrous as we are, would be the most selfish thing I could ever do. There was no way she was changing. I won't allow it even is she wanted to, which I doubt.

I took a deep breath, wincing as her scent hit me like that first time just yesterday- like a wrecking ball-, and fire raced down my throat. I swallowed hard as excessive venom flooded my mouth and reached my destination, Bella a few feet behind me.

I leaned against the wall, casually folding my arms across my chest. I thought- a hypothesis- being closer to her than safe would allow me to figure out her mind and how she thinks but it turned out to be wrong. Why can I not understand her or hear her thoughts? Though her eyes are expressive, they made it still hard to decipher the reason behind the feelings or simply what the feelings were.

I waited sometime, waiting for her to speak first without making it obvious. She did, nervously. "So. What'd you want to talk to me about?"

That was a question I was expecting, even hoping, to hear. I ducked my head to her eye level, as that was the well-mannered way when apologizing during the time I grew up and because she was shorter than me, and I could see her face heating up, the blood pooling easily in her cheeks. It'll be so nice to have that blood rushing down my throat right now., complained the monster whom I have suppressed for centuries. No.

I spoke my lines, not expecting an easy, careless, emotionless response from her. "Carlisle's sorry, Isabella. For what the ignorance he bore your father that day when you were sixteen. I want to know if there's anything one of the Cullen family could do for you, however small or big, to make up for your loss."

"Carlisle left Charlie to die. And you know where that landed me? Two years of abuse and training deprivation from my mother. You think that saying sorry"- she snarled the word though she was like a kitten thinking she was a tiger- "and doing some deed for me would make it alright?"

She blinked furiously. She is going to cry., I noticed though I didn't get why I felt so sad- the sharp pang in my chest proved that- when she whisper-yelled at my like that though I was expecting it.

Alice's parting words whispered in my head again, By the way, try not to become particularly fond of anybody going with you into the arena. It'll just hurt you more when they die.

Is this what she meant? That would be horrible. Every second, every moment I spend with her, I put her in more danger.

I studied her face, knowing that I now made her hate me, which caused another sharp pang in my chest. I wanted to blame Carlisle, that he should have apologized himself, not use me but quickly pushed the thought away. I managed to keep my face perfectly expressionless- I was expecting a like answer so it was somewhat easy because I already practiced it, I was a good liar and she didn't know me all that well-, and forced my head to nod despite the sudden emptiness that had opened up inside me at her words. "I know that we will never be able to make up for the ignorance that day. I understand. We, Carlisle especially, are truly guilty and sorry. Just remember that we owe you and if there's anything you need, you can ask us.", I said, perfectly delivering my carefully planned lines.

I waves her towards me and we walked back. She wanted to say something, I could see, but I knew what she was going to say would jus make it that much harder for so I just nodded at the mentor, Jacob and Bella, feeling jealousy curl and lash out savagely underneath my carefully perfected polite surface facade, and walked away, fighting my curiosity for what she was going to say.

I didn't speak to her again though I wished I could, trying hard to cut my feelings for her though I knew it was impossible. You can't ruin her life like this. She deserves a chance at humanity, a chance to lead a human life.

I just laid on my bed, staring at the ceiling, with a hollow feeling and jealousy twisting inside me, waiting for the Interviews.

Tomorrow, the Games will began. What will happen?

* * *

Author's Note: I hope you enjoyed the chapter! I'll get the interviews chapter up as soon as possible. I'm sorry for any mistakes; I wrote this when I was super tired and I haven't been able to check it yet.  Thank you for reading and I hope you enjoyed it!

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