Jealous


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1. Jealous

 

 

JEALOUS

 

 

hesitant rain, pours down on us

it whispers our secrets so we can hear them out loud

and coffee tastes bitter, old kisses taste sweet

we talk over it all, over rain's beat, beat

she pushes back her rose pink hair

and her smile is like falling flowers

I have her picture in my head

clearer than I hear her words right now

and she laughs, like an angel breathes in her ear

and my twilight hair is like a shadow

a black wall between us.

in my mind I'm reaching out to her,

but she pushes me away, with her beauty

I can't go near.

she mutters into her manicured hands

about her blues, and her boyfriends

and how his kisses still wait for her,

watch over her, but run away before she can catch them.

and oh God, I'm jealous

the way her eyes glitter mint blue

like a lazy sea, perhaps, or the depths of a wishing well

and I wish, I wish, she'd look straight at me for once

meet my eyes, let me see her.

I think she knows what the rain whispers:

I think she hears my hesitant secret, even though

I daren't say it aloud.

and she tells me she's moving on, soon

right down south where the wind blows warmer

and I don't say where I'm going, because I don't know

I always though I'd stay here

stay, forever.

it's what I do.

and she mocks me, with the way she drops her eyes and black lashes

like dead weights, and leaves me wondering

why?

and then I sit, cold, like I'm in the rain

letting my mind pick up all the things I didn't think were true

and in my head, I'm plucking flowers

she loves me? she loves me not?

and she's still saying that she'll leave me

behind her words she says time is running out

but I'm still too afraid

to say anything, to really meet her eyes

because if I do, I know I'll fall in love.

 

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