Mello

"Official walked down the sidewalk in the dark English town. Things have changed so much since he had last visited his old home. Home, such a weird word, so flexible, but so meaningful, and now he had none. Aside from Dash, everyone he had loved was gone. This strange other world he was forced into so many years ago felt as it had when he first arrived"

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1. Mello

Official walked down the sidewalk in the dark English town. Things have changed so much since he had last visited his old home. Home, such a weird word, so flexible, but so meaningful, and now he had none. Aside from Dash, everyone he had loved was gone. This strange other world he was forced into so many years ago felt as it had when he first arrived. Lonely. Dark. Confusing. Terrifying. But something was different now. Now he was a new person. A far more broken and lonely person. He thought he would never stoop to this level again, feared it, but once again this awful and unforgiving world he lived in felt he needed more. More. More. More. He wanted it to stop, to go away. For the world to go away.

He sat on the curb, watching the rain fall to the ground, leaving large puddles in the narrow, empty road. It was three in the morning, but he needed to get away from what she once considered a safe haven. Now it was just a reminder of a horrible thing he could've, should've stopped. He lost so many friends, family. He lost his love.

Mello.

His green eyes haunted him, even now, alone at night with his thoughts on cold pavement. He remember how he smiled, the way he threw his head back laughing, how his hair fell into his face when he'd take in out of his ponytail. He remembered how he loved him. And how he screamed as he laid dying on the bed next to his.

Those things never leave your mind.

He stared blankly at the road, trying to will away everything he's seen, all the hell he's been through. Beyond. The gunshot that ended Matt's life. The notebook full of children's names. The funeral. The last time he spoke to Mello.

The memories will never go away, no matter how hard he tries.

He blinks back the tears forming in her eyes. Even alone, he refused to be weak.

"No. Stop crying. You aren't allowed to cry." He whispered to himself, clenching his fists. He sang softly, keeping his mind as far away from his thoughts as he could

"Then I lost it all."

The song wafted down empty alleyways as he began from the chorus of the beautiful song.

"Dead and broken. My back's against the wall. Cut me open."

His voice got louder and louder, each words sounding angrier than the last. He didn't know what he was angry at. The world? Fate? The God he had lost faith in so long ago? Who knows, he was mad. And scared. And lonely. And so many other things.

"I'm just trying to breath, just trying to figure it out, cause I built these walls to watch them crumbling down."

Screaming. Madness. Pain. Too much, always too much.

"I said 'And then I lost it all'"

The words tear him apart.

"Who can save me now?"

The last words were soft, his heart ripping at the seams. The tears slipped out, one by one, his heart feeling more than it should.

"What's wrong, babe?" A familiar voice called to him. He turned to look at the figure. The blond hair, the dark clothes, the scar, those perfect greens eyes. There was no doubt who was speaking to him.

"Mello?" He said quietly, hoping it was true. Denying all common sense saying he was dead and buried, wanting the man in front of her to truly be the one he loved. Mello nodded.

"Mello!" He laughed, running into his arms, so overjoyed that he was here. That he was real.

They embraced for a beautiful,short eternity. He could feel his warmth once again. Smell the chocolate and gunpowder that had become a part of him. He felt every soft kiss he left on his head. He knew he was real. He had to be.

"I missed you. You have no idea how much I missed you." He said, pulling away, taking both her hands in his.

"I think I missed you more. Not that it's a competition." Official confessed, not daring to look away from him, afraid that if he averted his gaze for a second, his boyfriend would disappear.

They held each other in silent perfection, Official having so much to say, but not wanting to spoil the moment. But he needed so badly to tell him something.

"I love you, Mels." Official said. He had wanted to say those words for so long, cried them as he died right in front of him. But he wasn't sure he heard them. He was already dead by the time the phrase left his lips. He wished he could've gone back, told him sooner, wished he could've died knowing somebody loved him. But he was here now. Now he could hear him.

Mello leaned down, kissing Official's chapped lips. Official wrapped his arms around his neck. He felt the electricity he had in their first kiss. And in their last. And every one in between. That's how they knew they were right for each other.

The kiss lasted for what felt like hours, but Official didn't mind. If it could be like this forever, in this very moment, with this very feeling, he'd take it in a heartbeat. Finally, they pulled away.

And Mello was gone.

"Mels?" Official called into the night frantically, having felt love once again only to have it taken away.

"Mello! Mello, come back!" He screamed, tears forming in his eyes as cruel reality returned to him.

"Please."

He fell to the ground, once again alone. Tears joined the rain, falling to the ground in a puddle. His mind had fooled him once again. Mello was dead. Nothing could fix that.

"No. No! Make it stop! Go away! Make it go away!" He cried, looking to the sky. But it only cried with him.

Official sobbed as the daylight broke over the horizon. The rain hadn't ceased, nor had his loneliness.

"Come back. Please. Please come back." He whispered as he walked to Wammy's House, his heart broken once more, and his mind still playing mean games. 

 

 

 

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