Soul mates ( With a hint of apple juice )

TG: like mr president theres a meteor coming sir. oh yeah, how big is it? its the size of texas sir TG: OH SHIT TG: or, how big is it? its the size of new york city sir TG: OH SHIT TG: sir im afraid the comet is the size of your moms dick TG: OH SNAP TG: sir are you familiar with jupiter TG: you mean like the planet? TG: yeah TG: well its that big sir TG: hmm that sounds pretty big TG: i have a question TG: is it jupiter? TG: yes sir, earth is literally under seige by planet fucking jupiter TG: OH SHIT TG: anyway later

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1. One

A young man stands in his bedroom. It just so happens that today, the 13th of April, 2009, is this young man's birthday. 
( I'm only joking guys, only joking. )

 

This isn't the original story, the one that you've heard.

This is the story, on behalf of a particular Strider, you know the Dave human as Karkat would say...

I really need to stop talking about myself in third person, don't I?

Okay, Hi, my name is Dave Strider!

I like sick beats, phat rhymes, and irony, because i'm cool like that. 

I also like to collect preserved dead things, which Bro says is weird... Bro is my Genetic father, adoptive older brother and my guardian. ( It's kinda complicated, so I won't go into much detail) I have a older 'brother' called, Dirk.  I say it like that, because I highly doubt we're even related.   So anyway, here I am, on a peculiar new website called pesterchum. The words: 'What will your username be?' flash prominently on the screen, I think for a moment before I type. TurntechGodhead  

 

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