That beautiful nothing

Random thoughts that came to mind when i was dropping off to her home.


1. That beautiful nothing

She asked me, “what are u looking at? Why aren’t you talking?”
I looked to the nearest yellow board at the signal of shahbag, that breeze touched my soul. I looked around and saw some truck carrying goods passing me, and my rickshaw puller was trying hard to keep up with it.
She asked again, “what are u looking at?”
I answered softly, “I am trying to remember this journey, who knows the next time we meet! The next time I have the chance to seat beside u, I can smell the strange flower like scent from your hair.”
She got irritated. Which is natural, its hard for you to love someone who has no feelings for you. Some say laughing no matter what is hard, try loving someone who has no feeling for you.
She started talking, I was listening. It was an amazing night. I looked at the sky, but couldn’t find a single star. Sky of Dhaka is very strange, u cant seem to find a star at the right moment. Wonder how is Beijing’s sky.
She is still talking and I am answering it too randomly, at that moment I have no idea what she was talking about. Long time ago I heard a story about a guy gets high and starts seeing his ex. I cant see anything, I can only hear her voice. Her random irrelevant things, her stopping on the middle of a sentence, her smell.
I loved her since the moment she knocked me on facebook, she cracked a joke. We had Mayer’s Rum that night and spent the whole night listening to La Vien La rose. What a wonderful night that was, friends were partying. I was celebrating my cricket match’s victory. There was good food and RUM. But I sat on the corner, drinking rum with pomegranate juice. And thinking about that girl. People say about love on first sight, I fell in love with her I don’t know how. May be her boldness, may be her way of cracking jokes, may she is just that special one.
I thought all night about that girl. The girl I saw around 4years ago but couldn’t say anything that time. She knocked me. And now I am with her on a same rickshaw. How magical can a night be.
She pushed me this time. Asked me What happened to me. I smiled. I smiled with all the satisfaction of this world. I smiled at her. Looked at her face with my hearts content. I couldn’t see the terrible atmosphere of the road or all the trucks around us. I was feeling I am in the middle of the universe, and  everything is moving around me. I can see her eyes now, GOD those are beautiful.
May be that’s how love feels like. Like a infinite well from my quantum physics book. I wish someone was playing Louis Armstong’s ‘what a wonderful world’ at that time.
We reached our destination, I paid the fare and she said bye. I don’t know why all of a sudden I felt the world was closing around me. She went naturally through the dark ally into her house. I kept on looking, I wish I could shout. I wish I could run towards her and hold her back and have another look at her. Who knows, may be it’s the last time. I am afraid, I am afraid of losing her. She is walking, vanishing into that yellow and black light. I kept on looking. Now I cant see her, she is gone. Just like that.
May be that’s how the god works. May be one day she will tell me not to go, who knows? May be that day I will hold her hand and I will say you will never have to stay another day alone again. 


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