The Saga Of Craig

This is Craig. He is 45, stuck in a dead-end office job and divorced. He is struggling with alcoholism, teenage children and his too-hot-for-him ex-wife Sandra. In a desperate attempt to make himself seem more interesting, he's decided to paint his room bright orange.

Panic ensues.


2. The Paint

Some may say it started when Sandra walked out of his life. Some may say it started when Adrian strutted in. But for all intents and purposes, to Craig, it began with that damn pot of orange paint.

Craig is painting his room orange. He buys a tin of paint with red and yellow in the ratio 5:4. Another tin of paint has red and yellow in the ratio 16:20. Are the two tins of paint the same shade of orange?

Craig cursed at the small pot of paint that was currently taunting him with illogical ratios. He had already painted half his room orange, feeling compelled to have a crazy change for no apparent reason, and had promptly run out of paint as he finished the second wall. So now he was back in this Godforsaken hardware store, intimidated by all the manly men with cordless hammer drills. He didn't even know what cordless hammer drills were. 

He was never good at maths in school. He wished he was. 

"16:20....5:4....16:4...5:20...." he muttered under his breath. Damn this! Why wasn't there the same pot he bought last time? A sudden bolt of inspiration possessed Craig and his eyes flew wide open. 16, 20 and 4 are all multiples of four! It is the same! he thought, but of course, due to his inhumanely bad luck, he was terribly wrong. Poor Craig.


A/N: So, that was the first half-chapter of Life of Craig. ADRIAN IS IMPORTANT. LOVE HIM. and yes i did make a pinof reference watcha gonna do?

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