The Coffee Quest

Join the magical adventure of Sir Tuesday von Thursday De Bruyn as he journeys to find Costa Coffee and avenge his dead wife.


4. Chapter 3 - You need a spine to live

Oh, child of myne, why doth thou giveth me such anguish?- William Blake


To my relative shock and slight relief, I discovered I had unspecialised stem cells in my body, and my spine had regrew, in a method not dissimilar to most salamanders.

After that, I skipped with and without a skipping rope at separate occasions towards the equator. I passed trees and bushes and farms and cows and Scotland, and decided that I had gone the wrong way. But I'm posh so it clearly wasn't my fault so I blamed my now decapitated wife. Did I state earlier that I can skip on water? Because if I did thats a lie. So when I reached the south coast I took a boat to the equator and decided to go west because it was common knowledge that the world was completely round.

After wasting 23 years skipping from Australia to Scotland. I then almost fell off the edge of the world, which proves those bloody commoners wrong doesn't it! So I turned back around and went east.

Apparently food is a necessity for survival of the human race. I was not aware of this. As my only source of nutrition for the last 23  years was two packets of mint polos and 3/5's of a semi-mouldy cheese sandwich, I went to a restaurant where they served fancy food befitting for someone generally posh like moi.


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