The Coffee Quest

Join the magical adventure of Sir Tuesday von Thursday De Bruyn as he journeys to find Costa Coffee and avenge his dead wife.

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3. Chapter 2 - The Journey Begins

With much anger a spanner I doth brandish. - Blake William

 

I set out on my arduous quest the following morn, well, I say the following morn but posh people get up at 12 so it was more sorta around 3pm that I set out. Some may say that 3pm is not in the morning, and I say that you don't live my life and that you can't prove me wrong. I reached the airport, 12 seconds later using only left foot and a leftover slice of Hawaiian pizza specifically from Narnia, where I had been living not so very long ago enjoying a delightful coffee, which was not quite costa. I got on the plane only to discover that it was the wrong one, so I bribed the pilot with currency to take us back and he agreed because currency is something that is desired by the majority of the homosapiens. However he declined to take me to the airport, instead he flew us over the area of australian known to some as the outback,or to my cousin Steve and his nemesis David, as the site of ww3.  (add bit here) As I smashed into the solid earth, my spine took a severe amount of impact, and dissolved almost instantaneously. However there was hope as people who talk in funny posh voices don't need spines anyway. I simply slithered across the vast expanse of scorching soil while searching for the nearest tourist office, which directed me to a surgeon who could reinstall my spinal cord as slithering is rather frowned upon by certain humans in existence, also known to some as society. I reached the surgeon at precisely 25 years after the surgeon retired. My need for a backbone was dire, and I found that it caused a substantial amount of pain in the entirety of my figure. I was also rather warm, due to the important issue that I was wearing a full suit a bowtie made of solid gold and an annoyingly large top hat. I removed my hat, shirt, jacket and other items of clothing until all that remained attached to my body was my solid gold bow tie and sunglasses which I didn't have a 1/3 of a second previously.

 
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