The Coffee Quest

Join the magical adventure of Sir Tuesday von Thursday De Bruyn as he journeys to find Costa Coffee and avenge his dead wife.


13. Chapter 12 - We decided to continue writing as publishing blank books don't get many hits

I am not quite deadith yetith- Child of William Blake

I was still at the bottom of the ladder, as I found out to my utmost contempt, as I concluded chapter 10. It was a mediocrely above average chapter I thought. Unfortunately the pain in a certain private area of my body, that most professional surgeons would agree is my colon, had not subsided. “Ooh that smarts” I said. And of course I was correct as I had just fallen off a rather extended ladder due to the slight mishap of being unconscious. Remembering that I was tired, I soon drifted into an uneasy sleep filled with positively mortifiieng dreams of rampant bananas chasing midget monkeys around the plains of kenya and I thought to myself, what has the world come to, when there are monkeys in the PLAINS of africa. When I awoke I was in court being charged with theft and public harassment, due to having let all of the monkeys out of tokyo zoo, and then chasing them around with what appeared to be an edible yellow stick of sexual pleasure. Then I discovered it was a banana. As it turns out I hadn’t been asleep at all. The judge asked me in Japanese, “ ダ・ダ・ダダダ、
ねえ、ホールドアップ。私は雑草の日常を吸います。” So, I shot him in the face. As is custom in Japan, when you honourably kill someone, you are automatically forgiven of any previous offences. So I made my mind up, and extravagantly departed, with a swish of my tailcoat, in a manner reminiscent of a homosexual elephant strutting off in a huff once he finds out that those fabulous shoes don’t come in his size. My next mission was to unravel the complex mystery of how I got to Japan in the first place.


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