chocolate pudding or bitter gourd relief ~a review book~

a review book.
comment if you want it reviewed.
the title (preferably with the link).
if it's super long, i'll probably just go through the first five chapters and review.

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9. cpobgr review #8 for those forgotten- anastacia

chocolate pudding or bitter gourd relief

review #8

[11.1.16.]

"i've been conquered."

the title: for those forgotten

author: anastacia

date published: 19 november 2015

rated: yellow

genre: realism

age: one month and eight days old (as of 11th january 2016)

chapters: three

status: in progress

blurb: my mother named me jenna after the heavens, after the beauty that peeked through slivers of earth and hope. she named me jenna because she knew that one day i would bring light to the the forgotten souls, and the heart to our stone-cold world

 

at first glance:

more than anything, the cover has my attention. its simple. not striking but there's this subtlety about that that puts emphasis on the title, ayezah, and the arabic words. captured my attention. (thank, @sanguine for the cover)

 

chapter one: f o r t h o s e f o r g o t t e n-

i saw this after i was done with the prologue, and the spaces between the words "for those forgotten" changed the impact it had on me- by a ton. i'll explain it later in overall impression.
"no one knows, no one cares." the arabic swept my heart away from the very beginning.

 

chapter two: prologue//i stand alone//-

and the subtlety carries on. the chapter's descriptive, and it gives us an insight to the feel of the story, what the main character thinks. there is a proper background for the story to form. i like it. i don't know if the space at the end, after the paragraph in italics, is intentional or not. but it's a really nice touch.


"now, all i hear when i move my lips and tongue is silence. silence and the sound of my thoughts screaming."

then there is the blank space.
we can't hear our thoughts outside our head and the blank space just *snaps finger* subtly imposes the idea that that space is the author's thoughts screaming.
beautiful.
a very artistic touch. it's probably the first time i came across it out here. 

 

chapter three: chapter one // the truth//-

among the few books i read in lowercase, my favorite's been will grayson, will grayson and a few of @pixxie (i think that's her username now) work. so honestly, i thought that the lowercase was a personal choice and not for the feel of the story. 
this chapter proved me wrong. it starts with-

"i feel small. i feel like nothing."

the lowercase adds to the feel of it in a very beautiful, subtle and precise manner.
and the

"small.
small.
small.
small.
small."

a very very beautiful touch.

 

over-all impression:

traditionally speaking, i just read a chapter. and i love it. it's beautiful. it has that subtle artistic quality that appeals to those who see it at the first glance. from what i make of it, it's too soon to judge the book, but the progress is good till now. how the actually story starts, when we're introduced to more characters is something i can't judge now. i hope the book keeps its momentum going.

 

recommendations:

it would be preferable if words were used instead of numerical figures to denote numbers, for example- "with a population of but only ninety-three people," instead of "93 people." that's just a personal observation.
the prologue and chapter one has all been about her thoughts and the tragic events that has gone by, for the following chapters i'd recommend some present day events. like what is she doing? where is she now? how's she living? more focus on the present.
the story thrives on its subtlety, which is a benchmark that should be crossed. if something really strong and impactful is made to stand out in this artistic subtlety- trust me, it would be magnificent.

for the author: and please do keep up the subtle artistic text present in your work. it's beautiful.
not many stories here or in print have that kind of hidden yet powerful messages like it did on yours. it needs a bit more work here and there, to make it more firm. but lovely.

verdict: 

:'D a tears of joy face, i give you three chocolate puddings (you would have gotten a case of them, but the story's too short for that)

 

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next up: diary of secrets by carolclifford (heard it's a fanfiction. let's see how that goes)

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