Fate Drove Me Into His Arms

Michelle, a senior student in Julliard, has been trying to live her life as simple and normal as possible. Joshua, her rock star ex, comes back into her life after she hears of his band while taking her daily walk through central park. Will everything go back to how she had it or will he turn her life upside down?
(inspired by if I stay series)

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3. Regrets

            “Guilty as charge,” I laughed nervously. I cleared my throat and spoke what was on my mind. “Why’d you leave?” Silence filled the air.

            Four years ago, Joshua left with his band to start living the dream. Without me. I never stopped thinking about it.

            “What do you mean? You’re the one who ran away from me-”

            “Four years ago…you left me for fame and fortune,” I started to tear up.

            “Mimi, please I-I-I don’t know what to say,” I choked up, tears rushed down my face.

            “No, you do know…you just won’t say it,” I paused, my body violently shaking, preventing me from speaking.

            “I’m sorry. All I’ve ever wanted was to follow my dreams. You helped me achieve that. It was all because of you.”

            “So your way of thanking me is by leaving me alone…possibly with a baby,” I wrapped my body with a soft silky blanket, shivering softly.

            “I’m sorry,” He hanged up and I cried.

 

One summer day started as it always did. The sun was out and the birds were chirping with joy. I opened my eyes and blinked several times to clear my vision. Sliding out of bed, I dragged my feet toward my bathroom.

            While I started brushing my teeth, I had an epiphany. My period was late. I’m not…I can’t be. I’m barely 18, I can’t be pregnant. Looking at my pained face, I could see my calendar in the background. I haven’t had my period for the last two weeks. I turned around, nearly in tears.

            My iPhone started to ring in my bedroom as I hugged myself, crying silently. After half and hour, I walked out the bathroom and grabbed my phone. Joshua called. Gulping down my fear, I dialed his number. It rang for a few moments before he answered.

            “Hey, how come you didn’t answer? You always answer.” Joshua said.

            “I…nevermind. What’s up?” I bit my lip, placing my hand gently onto my stomach.

            “I’m good, you?” I could hear the concern in his voice.

            “Do you want to know the whole truth?” I whispered.

            “Everything.”

            “I might be pregnant,” Tears rushed down my face and I sighed.

            “I’m going to take a pregnancy test,” I could hear him breathing heavily.

            “Want me to be there with you?” He whispered.

            “If you want to be here,” I inhaled and exhaled slowly.

            “Okay…okay. I’ll be there in ten minutes with the test,” he hanged up and I gasped for air, realizing that I was holding my breath.

            This so far is my worst nightmare.

 

Joshua handed me the pregnancy test. His body was trembling. I leaned up and kiss his cheek. Walking into the bathroom, I closed the door behind me and stared into the mirror.

            Here I go.

 

            Five minutes later…

 

            Joshua and I held hands while I started reading the test. Double bars. Josh squeezed my hand tight and I sat in silence. I’m pregnant. Looking over to my right, Joshua was staring into space.

            “Joshua…are you okay?” he jumped up and started panicking.

            “What are we going to do? Are you going to stay in school? How are we going to pay for a baby?” he said in one long babble.

            “I don’t know…” I pulled my knees to my chest and cried silently while Josh paced back and forth in my room. After twenty minutes, he left my room and disappeared for the rest of the day.

 

            Two days later…

 

            The toughest thing about being pregnant was telling my friends and family. When I told my mom I was pregnant she started crying and hugging me. She told me that I wouldn’t be alone if Joshua was to leave me. I didn’t say much because I’ve been giving it a thought. What if he does leave me because of this? What will I tell my baby when she grows up and asks for her dad? Tell her he left because he didn’t want you? I could never do that to my baby.

            I decided that I would not raise the baby on my own, and that I would put it up for adoption.

            When I told my dad I was pregnant he started flipping out and yelling at the top of his lungs.

            “I’m going to kill him,” He loaded his shotgun and pulled back the cartridge.

            “It took two to make a baby!” I blocked the door frame.

            After telling him my plan about adoption, my dad started to calm down. He held my hand and hugged me tight. He suggested that I see a doctor to confirm if I really was pregnant. I agreed for my sake and for Josh’s.

 

            The gynecologist room was bright white with poster of the women’s uterus and how babies are formed. I sat on the chair and stared up at the ceiling. Joshua said he would be here. I sighed.

            The doctor walked in with a clipboard.

            “Ms. Andrews?” the middle-aged male doctor said, raising his eyebrows.

            “Yes,” I sat up, shaking his hand.

            “You’re not pregnant…don’t worry, false positives happen more frequent than you think,” I sat in shock.

            I’m not pregnant. My life isn’t ruined. I sighed in relief and shook his hand. Joy overwhelmed me, and I hugged him.

            “Thank you!” I ran out and rushed to my car. Time to tell everyone it was a false positive. Grabbing my iPhone, I texted everyone I told and they responded with, “Great”, “Thank God”, and “I’m still going to kill him.”

            I laughed and inhaled deeply. The smile disappeared from my face and one question remained in my thoughts: Will things go back to normal with Joshua?

 

            Joshua texted me, telling me to meet him at his house. I walked up to his doorstep and knocked at the door. It opened and a serious Joshua stood. Walking into the living room I sat on the rosy red loveseat and he sat on the tan recliner adjacent from me.

            He hasn’t looked at me since he opened the door. The silence was killing me inside.

            “I’m here,” I held my hands tight in my lap.

            “I know,” he kept his gaze to the ground.

            “Why?” I squeezed my hands together.

            “Michelle, we have to break up,” he lifted his gaze to me. His expression was dark, matching his dark brown eyes. His eyes seemed to be looking into my soul. He’s serious. Why? Is it because of the pregnancy scare?

            “W-w-why?” I stuttered and started shaking.

            “Toxic Roses is starting to get noticed by fans and record labels. I have to start prioritizing my career,” he stood up, staring out the window. I looked at him, tears rushing down my face.

            “Do you still love me?” I slowly stood up. He kept looking out at the window, not moving a muscle.

            “Yes, and I always will,” he faced me and had a chain in his hand. My eyes widened when I realized it was the necklace I gave him for our one-year anniversary. It was a rose gold necklace with a piano and a French horn intertwined together.

            He walked over to me and gently placed it in my hand. I held back sobs and looked up at him. He kissed my forehead and walked away. My heart was broken in pieces, scattered all over the tiled floor.

 

            My life has changed so much since that day. I graduated Purple Ridge High School early and got into Julliard with a full-ride scholarship. I’ve played all over the world and have composed two nationally-known pieces of music. I didn’t need him then and I don’t need him now.

            My phone started to vibrate. I grabbed it and saw that Joshua had texted me, apologizing about earlier and asking me to meet him at Central Park. I hesitated to respond but I need to understand why he broke up with me four years ago.

 

            Rain started to pour down. Rain drops thudded on my red and gold hoodie while I tried to find shade. After a while of searching, I found cover under a maple tree nearby. A dark figure stood there as I walked closer. He turned around and smiled nervously.

            Joshua.

            “Hey. Thanks for meeting me,” he shivered, walking toward me.

            “No problem,” I nodded and stared into space.

            “I wanted to give you this,” he held an envelope and handed it to me. Hesitating, I grabbed it and looked at him.

            “I meant to send it to you but I felt like you might not have wanted it,” he whispered, hiding his smirk.

            The letter read: “Dear Michelle, I’ve wrote what I was going to say to you over a thousand times. None seemed to show exactly how I felt. I’m so sorry things ended the way it did. Toxic Roses isn’t my top priority. You are. You have always been. After signing the label, I’ve been on tours back-to-back and been doing concerts all across the world, but nothing felt right after leaving Washington. After leaving you behind. I’ve slept with girls and left the next day to go off to another city, repeating the process over and over again. I’ve never gotten over you. I still love you.” I clutched the letter in my hands and looked up at him. He still looked the same. His eyes, his hair, even his clothes.

            My heart started to race. I inhaled deeply and ripped the note into pieces. Joshua flinched but didn’t move from his spot.

            “You expect me to forgive you after these past few years of pain and torture?! Really?” I screamed at the top of my lungs.

            “I’ve waited for you. I waited, and waited…and waited until there was no point.”

            “I-“

            “No!” I jabbed his chest with my index finger. “I’m done…I’m done,” Whispering softly to myself, I stormed off leaving Josh picking up all of the pieces of the letter.

            I finally got to say the last word. Four years ago, he broke up with me to chase after his dreams. Leaving me in tears. But today, I said the words that have been echoing in my head all night. Music has always been my life, and I’m not letting some hot pop star sensation ruin that.

 

            Later that day…

 

            I couldn’t believe he had the audacity to give me that letter. How could I forgive him for what he did to me? I mean, he disappeared into the midst of fame and fortune. I laid on my bed and sighed. I bit my lip, and thought to myself. I only…

            A knock at the door interrupts my thoughts and snapped up, raising my eyebrows. I turned the lock, opening the door, standing in shock.

            “What are you doing here?”

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