insignificant

teenage angst has paid off well [a . h .]

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10. let's pretend

And let's pretend I have something worth saying.

Let's pretend I have the power to stand up, and stop waiting.

I'm just sitting here pondering the plan to fix my sorrows.

Thinking of how to make my heart feel less hallow.

But I never do anything, I never put the plan to action.

I never get that motivational spirit, no side of satisfaction.



And I sat here, tilted head and messy hair from bed.

Just feeling almost numb inside, almost near dead.

I didn't feel like moving, or talking.

Standing or walking.

Eating or breathing.

Not even sleeping.



I closed my eyes and a deep sigh escaped my mouth like a chained down prisoner. 

A prisoner guilty of only depression. Nothing allowed to help it, it seemed, not even a visitor. 

And you. You raised your head up with a smile planted on your face like black eyed susans.

And your eyes were so dark, but showing blue..deep empty voids..eyes like bruises.

You paid no mind to my mental well being, telling me that you now hate me.

I didn't do anything but try, from what I could see.



Darling, how dreadful.

Darling, how painful.

Darling, no darling, no cares.

And I think of what you said. "With love, anything's fair."



It's a deep root of sensitivity that claims to be veins.

And without anyone to care, my eyes seem to only spare rain.

I thought you could be the one angel I'd never doubt.

But that all ended when you opened your mouth.



Saying hateful things, things you clearly don't understand.

You made my heart race, yes it ran..

But not anymore. You shot the poor man.



Stranger, how expected.

Stranger, here's my lesson.

Stranger, forget me and let me rest in..

peace. 

Let my soul be put at ease.

Depression being more of a disease.

And I thought you had the key.

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