Lilac Sky (Sequel To: High Up)


13. Thirteen - The End Of All Things

Felix gripped Ryan's hand tightly within his own, missing the sweet, soft sensation of his hand being held in return.

Ryan was so cold...

The tears seemed to never stop, they just kept falling. His chest hurt more than you could ever imagine... Felix was a mess, he'd practically given up. He hadn't left the hospital in almost two weeks now. Their fans were starting to worry about the pair, neither had updated nor put anything up in what seemed like forever. Ryan and Felix almost never missed a single day... Two weeks though? That made people nervous.

The young Swede pulled up Twitter on his phone, it seemed like it was about time he'd tell them...

Very important video coming out on both @Crywastaken and I's channel soon... I'm sorry.

Felix pressed the blue tweet button, sighing in ache.

The male pulled up the camera on his phone and began recording, "Um... Hi, guys... I don't even know h-how to start this..." He stopped, thinking of what to say, " As you can clearly see, I-I'm not home..." Tears continued to fall, but Felix didn't care, "This is one place I'd never thought I'd have to vlog at... This is also something I'd n-never thought I'd ever have to say either..." Felix dragged his fingers through his messy hair.

Felix took in several deep breaths, trying his hardest not to break down yet again, "C-Cry and I m-may be quitting YouTube... Ry-Ryan was shot... It was a robbery gone bad, it happened around t-two weeks a-ago... They-They..." Felix began sobbing yet again, having yet another break down. A panic attack setting in.

"I-I'm so fucking s-sorry..." He cried, "They said Ryan's chances of-of living are-are... They said it's very unlikely he-he'll make it..." Felix had to pause yet again, heaving for breath.

"Fuck... I'm sorry... If-If Cry d-dies... I'm not-... I-I'm quitting YouTube... I'm so sorry..." He sighed, sitting in silence for a moment, only the steady beeping of Ryan's heart monitor able to be heard other than the soft sounds of Felix's heavy breathing and hiccups.

"I love you Bros..." He stopped recording and posted it on both of their channels immediately, the title reading, I'm sorry...


Dan sniffled in ache, hugging Phil's sweater tighter around his scrawny body. He missed Phil more than anything and he hated himself more than ever for letting such an amazing person slip through his fingers.

Why was he so stupid?

He really had fucked up this time. And this was something he could never fully fix.

Phil had already found someone new... Someone better than him. Dan hated her. Phil was his, not her's... Though he knew, deep down, that Phil deserved so much better than himself. He deserved to be happy.


Why was he still here?

That's all that Arin could think about, wondering if people were even looking for him...

He was stuck, being tourchered in more ways than one, for more than two weeks now. Arin wasn't sure if he could take much more. He wished he would just die, this was too much...

"Oh, Arin!" Molly's soft and evil sounding voice rang out throughout the room. Arin winced at the sound.

What now?

She entered the room, two large men following suit. They all wore very little clothing.

"You take turns boys, but make sure that you save some for me." She smirked, glaring directly at Arin. She stood, watching as the men approached the table that Arin was strapped to.

They began to undress the visibly younger male who fought with every ounce of his power to stop them, to no avail.

Arin felt a sudden, sharp stab into his shoulder and was quickly paralyzed, fully conscious other than being unable to focus on anything. Whatever drug they had used on him made him feel as though he were to be violently sick, he felt awful and afraid. Yet another anxiety attack - his third that day - set in.

He knew exactly what they were doing, able to feel every touch against him, the excruciating pain that ran through him. He couldn't fight back, he couldn't move, he couldn't respond in any way...

Arin just wanted his Danny...


The drug had worn off, leaving him aching and still feeling slightly nauseous. Arin wished to go home, he wanted to be in bed lying beside the man he loved.

Arin didn't even know what day it was...

"Arin?" Molly reentered the room, making Arin's body tense, "Are you ready for round two?" She smirked, all that adorn her body was a tight, black leather lingerie one piece.

"N-No..." He whimpered.

"Oh well. Suck it up." She growled, he smirk dropping to an angered frown. She climbed on top of him, "Good luck handling me, Arin."

She proceeded to remove his boxers once again. Her finger trailing up his cock softly, her already lube-covered hand wrapping around his penis, gently stroking up and down, a boner appearing slowly. Arin wanted to just pretend it was Dan but he knew it wasn't, Dan's hands were larger and softer. He missed Dan so much.

"Wow, you really don't care for me do you?" She shrugged, "Well doesn't matter, the Viagra that I slipped into your water before should kick in soon enough." She sighed.

"You-You what?" He asked in anger.

"You fucking heard me. Who even said you could speak?" She hit him, scraping his cheek with her nails, making him bleed. She smiled, content with herself.

Time passed so fucking slow. It was taking forever for the Viagra to kick in and honestly, Arin just wanted to get this over with.

He just wanted to go home already.


Jack paced the small living room of his and Mark's home. This was going to be the hardest thing he'd ever done and will ever have to do... Saying no was easier than this. Being this in love with someone made what he had to do much harder than it should've been.

The Irishman jumped at the slam of the front door, this told Jack that his lover had finally returned home. The boy sighed and made his way to see Mark.

"Where the 'ell have ye been!?" Jack snapped, causing Mark to flinch, looking over at his love.

"Uh... I told you before, I was collabing with Wade. You know he's in town and he's been staying with Brian." Mark narrowed his brow, slightly angered by Jack's tone.

"Well, ye're never 'ome anymore Mark! I've been callin' ya all day! I could've died and ya wouldn't 'ave even known... Or even cared for that matter."

"What the fuck do you mean 'or cared'?!" Mark raised his voice, "Of course I would've fucking cared, Jack!" He fumed.

"Yeah, sure did fuckin' seem like it when I called Wade so I could tell ya somethin' and he picked up but ye fuckin' couldn't!" Shouted Jack, seeing Mark flush pure white, "'I was with Wade.'" Mocked the younger, "I was with Wade me fuckin' arse!" He practically screamed at this point, "Now. Where, the fuck, were ye!?"

"I-I was out with a friend..." He muttered.

"What were ye doin'?" Jack hissed.

"We were just hanging out at their place okay!?" Mark snapped, "Why do you even give a shit anyway!?"

Jack shook his head in anger, jaw clenched tightly as he grabbed a packet of papers off the table, throwing it at Mark, who fumbled with the stack for a moment before getting a grip on it.

"What...?" Mark's voice trailed as he skimmed over the first paper, speaking the only two words on the page that mattered, "... Cancer free..."

"Yeah. Ye weren't fuckin' there, Mark." Jack glared at him, "When I needed ye most ye disappeared and didn't come back. I'm done, Mark... I'm sorry." Jack sighed.

"What-What do you m-mean?" Mark stammered out, knowing what Jack meant but refused to believe it.

"I'm sorry..." Jack looked into Mark's eyes, shaking his head.

"Please!" Mark cried out, this couldn't be real.

"I cannot fuckin' do this..." Jack turned to look away as Mark began to cry. He wouldn't cry. He couldn't.

"No!" Mark shouted in defeat, "I love you!" He sobbed, trying to grab Jack's arm but he pulled back and moved past the older.

"I'm sorry..." Jack muttered not turning back, "Goodbye, Mark." That's when the tears began to unwillingly fall from his beautiful blue eyes. His hand grabbing onto the doorknob of their home, pushing the door open and stepping out.

He already wished to go home.


"So, what does it mean, Ryan?" Matt asked him, to which Ryan's eyes widened.

"Uh... I-I'm too tired for this right now." He quickly stood and stomped off to his room, tossing himself onto his bed and groaning loudly. Ryan's fingers ran through his hair, his mind stuck on replay as he could only think of Matt's rough kiss.

"Fuck!" He shouted at himself. He knew he was not getting any sleep tonight.

The exhausted male stood, now pacing the room, "You can't feel this way... Fuck..." He muttered, "God-fuck... Just... Agh!" He slammed his fist against the wall, "Motherfucker!" He shouted.

"Hey, Ryan!? You okay!?" Called Matt.

"I'm fine, fucking just leave me alone!" Ryan yelled in frustration as he dropped to lay on his bedroom floor. His mind raced, thinking of Matt's beautifully sculpted body, he was skinny and his boned poked out in some areas of his body, such as his perfect hips. Every time they fucked, Ryan felt wrong, like he wasn't good enough for Matt. Matt was perfect, he was every girl's dream. He was so skinny, unlike Ryan who was slightly rounded, pudgy as most would say. But he just felt... Fat?

Though Matt always made sure that Ryan didn't feel that way, he made him feel like his size was good, that he wasn't gross.

Fuck, he wanted Matt.

But this has to stop, it's wrong to take advantage of each other like this.

No matter how good it felt...


After another sleepless hour of pacing, shouting, cussing and thinking he realized he needed to just get out. He needed to think and some fresh air so he of course got into his car, it was almost two in the morning at this point, but he could care less.

He peeled out of the driveway and sped off down the street, radio blasting some Spotify playlist that he'd been addicted to, it was just labeled Sad, the songs all explaining how he felt.

Ryan tried everything to get Matt out of his head as he drove, singing along to the songs, playing games with himself in the darkness of the night, anything but Matt was constantly in the back of his mind.

"Fuck! Matt, why can't you just fucking love me!? Why do I fucking feel like this?! Goddamn it!" He shouted as tears rolled down his cheeks, "I fucking love him! I love Matthew Watson and no matter what I fucking do I can't push that away anymore!" He yelled out, "I love him so fucking much! Goddamn it! Why do I have to love him!?" He scolded as tears rolled down his cheeks faster. He slammed his hands against the steering wheel multiple times, unknowingly drifting into the wrong lane of the road.

"Fuck, fuck, fuck!" He shouted over and over, "I love him, I fucking hate that I love him!" He yelled, bowing his head for just long enough to not see the giant truck twist around the corner, slamming directly into his car.

The last thing he thought about was Matt...


Felix scrolled through twitter, skimming through all the stupid 'I'm so sad' comments when everyone would forget in day anyway... It really pissed him off and he wanted to say something about it but he couldn't just yell at them, they were being nice.

He shut his phone off, tossing it to the side with a long, heavy sigh.

"I love you so much, Ryan..." Felix sighed, eyes closed, and head hung low. He needed Ryan to know that...

"I love you too..." Slurred a voice from beside him. Felix's head shot up looking at his lover lying almost lifelessly in the bed near him.

"Ryan... Oh. God, Ryan I-I..." Felix started to cry again, this time out of joy and not sadness. Felix basically threw himself on Ryan, gentle as to not hurt the younger.

"What...? Felix...?" Ryan asked in confusion, looking around, "Why are you crying?"

"Ryan, I-I've missed you so much!" Felix whimpered.

"Why?" Ryan felt extremely helpless. He was so lost and confused.

"Be-Because you've been in a coma for about two weeks..." Felix didn't care about any of that stuff all that he cared about was Ryan.

"Wait, why-... Oh no! No! Fuck, Felix, I am so sorry!" Ryan started to sob.

"What? Are you okay? What's wrong?" Felix panicked.

"The ring, Felix! The guy, he-he got the ring! I'm so sorry, Felix, I-I tried so hard to make sure he didn't take it... I-I failed you..." Ryan felt so fucking bad about losing the ring, that's the only reason he was even shot.

"Hey, hey, that's fine, it's okay, we can get you a new one, Ryan I don't care if I have to buy you a thousand new rings, as long as you're okay that's all I care about. Okay?" Felix reassured him, kissing his lover hard. He got a soft nod in reply as Ryan kissed back.

"I love you so fucking much, Ryan."


Matt was seated slumped over on the couch, struggling to stay awake, as he played Dying Light. It was almost 6am and he hadn't slept at all.

Matt's eyes drifted to his ringing cell phone, it took several moments before he even realized that is was, in fact, ringing. Tirely he answered it muttering tiredly into the receiver, "Hello? What do you want?" Not intending on sounding rude.

"Hello, is this Matt Watson?" A manly voice came through the phone.

"Uh, yeah? Who's this?" He muttered, he was going to be pissed if it was a fucking idiot calling to sell him something.

"This is Maynard hospital calling to inform you that Ryan Magee was in a very serious motor-vehicle accident. He has not stabilized since he was brought in at about 2:47 this morning. You should come and see him soon because he isn't expected to make it through the day. I'm sorry." The person spoke, leaving Matt in absolute shock.

Ryan was in his bedroom?

He hadn't left?

This couldn't be right.

"Uh, but... Ryan's in his room...? He never left? Are you sure you have the right person?" Matt asked.

"We are very sure Mr. Watson. I'm sorry." He repeated.

"Thank you, I'll be there soon..." Matt hung up and stood from the couch, hurrying to Ryan's room, "Ryan, Are you-" Matt stopped dead in his tracks, seeing nobody there, "Oh god... No..." He mumbled, his fingers going through his hair as he stood there for several moments before he darted from the room to get the keys to his car. Matt ran out of the house, getting in his tiny car, speeding off down the road to the hospital.

"I can't believe this..." Matt mumbled to himself, "Why'd he leave? Where the fuck was he going?" Matt wondered, suddenly slamming on the breaks in the middle of the road, "Why the fuck do you even care...?" He mumbled, "You hate him! Why do you even...Care..." Matt rambled to himself.

"Could I-... No, no... That's impossible." Matt shook his head and continued on his way to the hospital.


Matt paced around outside his fuck-buddies room.

Why was he even here?

He shouldn't fucking care this much. This wasn't normal. He had his fair share of friends-with-benefits before. What makes Ryan so fucking special?

He really was over thinking this and he knew it, but that's all he could do at that moment in time. He still couldn't figure out why he cared so much.

"He's my friend! That's all." He spoke aloud without thinking, instantly turning a bright shade of red as people gave him weird looks. Matt shook it off quickly and finally pushed the door to his friend's hospital room open.

"Ry-..." Matt's voice fell. He stared in awe at how badly bruised Ryan was. He looked nothing like himself, "Fuck..." He mumbled, this wasn't just friendship, this wasn't just fuck buddies.

Matt was in love with this man.

"Ryan... Fuck, fuck... No." He spoke, "This can't be right, this isn't him... This is just a mistake... He's going- He-he's... He'll... He..." Matt shook as panic set in, "N-No, he'd fine... He-He's just... Ryan... Ryan is fine..." He repeated over and over, his breathing becoming heavy and labored. He was having a nervous breakdown as he saw this, "W-Why can't I breathe... Fuck..." He mumbled to himself, feeling extremely dizzy as he paced the room, he felt as though his throat was closing.

Matt stumbled slightly, trying to stay standing upright. The door opened and Ryan's mother stepped in, crying softly as she saw him.

"H-Hi, Mrs. Magee..." Matt stammered out.

"Oh! Matt! I didn't even see-" Before she could even finish her sentence, Matt collapsed to the cold tile floor below.


The young male awoke at some time after three in the afternoon. He sat up confused to where he was at first before remembering what had happened several hours prior.

"Oh, shit, Ryan!" He muttered going to get up.

"Yeah?" Matt heard, causing him to jump, finding Ryan was lying in the bed beside him.

"Fuck, Ryan, oh my god. You're okay?" Matt asked.

"Yeah? Why?" Ryan chuckled seeing how concerned his friend was.

"Cause-Cause they called this morning and said you-you were gonna die!" Matt was so confused.

"Yeah, well I stabilized and ate a burger that my mom bought me and now I'm okay." Ryan laughed, smiling at the flustered other.

"Well, you had me worried sick!" Matt scolded.

"Yeah, I mean you had a panic attack and a very small mental breakdown before so I'm assuming you were pretty worried." Ryan smirked, "See, you don't hate me."

"I hate you now! You made me fucking so worried!" Matt groaned.

"Good." Ryan smiled at his friend yet again.

He was so in love...


"Nothing seems to get to you anymore, Arin. You're making this boring!" Whined Molly as she walked around the table Arin was strapped down on. He just sighed in response, not caring anymore. He'd given up hope of ever being found.

The scenery of the room had become basically home to him. Trophy's on the walls on shelves, many of them. Books, lots of books. Concrete floors with carpet in some areas, several tables, papers everywhere. The peeling wallpaper, the cracked picture frames, shattered glass strewn about the floor. It was forever engraved in his mind.

"What should I do about all this, Arin? What will snap you the fuck out of this? What will get to you?" She asked, "Hmm?"

"I don't know, Molly. I fucking don't care anymore." He muttered.

"Fine then. I didn't want to do this but, I'm gonna have to, huh?" She said as she moved towards the door of the basement.

"I don't think, I'll really care." He shrugged.

He wanted his home.


Time ticked by, slow as always. It had been ages, from what he guessed, it had been about two days. He sighed loudly, whatever this was it must've been hard to get. Probably illegal drugs. She did that plenty of times. Molly wasn't very creative at all is one thing that he had quickly learned.

"Arin!" Called the woman, "I've got a little surprise for you!" She spoke as she opened the door, stepping into the room.

"What?" Arin muttered, unamused.

"Are you ready for it? I know you'll love it." She smirked menacingly.

"What did you do?" He snapped.

"Bring it in boys!" She called, her two helpers in who held something between the two of them.

Arin's brow furrowed as he saw them, confused as he studied the thing between them. It was breathing... It clicked for him seconds later.

"Like your present, Arin?" Molly grinned.

"Molly! I fucking told you! Leave him alone! What the fuck did you do to him you son-of-a-bitch!?" Arin practically screamed, violently trying to escape her restraints.

"I just gave him some mild drugs to knock him out. He should come too soon." She waved off his anger.

"You fucking let him go!" Arin yelled again.

"Oh, shut the fuck up." She rolled her eyes as she proceeded to drug Arin, who watched as they dropped Danny's almost lifeless body to the floor.

The two men came and got Arin, untying him from the table only to tie him to a chair again moments later. Danny was moved to the table and strapped down. Arin couldn't do anything, he wanted to scream, that was his Danny. He felt like such a shitty boyfriend, he couldn't save him.


Dan awoke lying on the cold table about twenty minutes later while Molly was out doing something like buying more torture devices or something. Thankfully the drugs had worn off quite quick so Arin was able to speak to his lover.

"Danny." Arin spoke, he missed saying that.

Dan's head fell to the side to look at him, "A-Arin? Is this where you've been?" Dan looked as though he were about to have an anxiety attack.

"Yes, but listen to me, listen. It's okay, I'll get you out of here somehow. I promise." Arin spoke, "I'm sorry... This is my fault. I told her not to hurt you but that just gave her a reason to get you." Arin sighed.

"It's okay, Big Cat... You look so... so..." Danny couldn't find the right words to say.

"Sick, defeated, tired..." Arin spoke, "You have no idea." He frowned.

"I love you." Danny told him, "I miss you."

"I love you too, you have no idea how much I-"

"So, I see my new capture is finally awake!" Molly spoke, "And your drugs wore off." She glared at Arin.

"Don't you fucking hurt him you fucking-"

"Arin, I can fucking kill you, right here, right now. In front of your fucking boy-toy. If I were you, I'd keep your goddamn mouth shut." She hissed, leaving Arin speechless, "That's what I thought."

She soon stepped up to Dan, eyeing him over. She turned to look back at Arin before straddling Dan.

"I think you'll enjoy watching this, Arin." She laughed as she tried to kiss Dan. Arin was already fuming and this just made it so much worse. He went to reposition himself in the chair only to find that it was very unsteady, making him smirk.

As Molly tried - and failed - to arouse Dan, Arin rocked the chair back and forth, wearing on the old and loose bearings. He stopped once the chair could barely support him anymore. Finding a sharp, broken part of the chair in the back, rubbing his hand ties against it until they snapped. He looked up to find Molly ready to fuck Dan, who was pleading for Arin to help. Finally he gave a single, rough rock to the left, causing the chair to break to bits beneath him.

Molly jumped from the loud crashing sound of the chair. Her brows narrowed as she yelled up the stairs, "Boys! He's gotten free! Come restrain him!" But he was already locking the door.

"Arin just go! Go get help!" Danny told him, seeing how weak he'd seemed to be. If he was grabbed he would be killed.

"No! I'm not leaving." He stood his ground and Molly was pissed by this, jumping off of Dan and grabbing Arin. Her fist making contact with his cheek, to which he shoved her back and she reached for an empty needle on the table. Arin grabbed her arm shoving her to the floor.

She repeatedly hit Arin but he refused to let her up. She suddenly reached out, grabbing a piece of the broken chair and hitting the Floridian over the head with it and kneeing him in the crotch. The male, of course, let out a loud groan in pain, falling to the side releasing her. Molly jumped up as Arin struggled to catch his breath.

He stumbled to his feet going to grab her again but she turned to face him and he saw what she'd done.

"Touch me and he dies." She threatened, a gun held to Danny's head.

"Don't you dare." He spoke, backing up just so she wouldn't hurt Dan. His back soon came in contact with the wall behind him, hitting one of the shelves with trophies on it. She turned back to face Danny for a moment and that's when he grabbed one of the golden statues off of the shelf. In a quick moment, he slammed the trophy against her head, causing her to drop to the floor, firing a shot that made Arin's heart pound and his stomach drop.

"Fuck!" Danny cried out, causing Arin's breath to return to his lungs. He found Molly pulling herself up, placing the gun to Dan's head again, just about to pull the trigger. Arin couldn't let this happen, he quickly hit her, repeatedly over the head with the statue until they were both drenched in blood and only he was breathing...

Arin dropped the statue, hands violently shaking as he saw what he did.

"Oh god..." He breathed, "W-What have I-I done..." He sat wide-eyed on top of the woman.

"Arin?" Danny spoke softly, "What did you do? What happened?" Dan muttered, having blacked out for several moments from the pain in his side.

"She-She... I killed her..." He mumbled, "Oh god... I killed her..." He spoke in shock, hearing sirens faintly and yelling from upstairs.

"Sir? Sir?" He faintly heard as he looked up to see an officer stood above him, "Are you okay, sir?" No matter how hard they tried Arin couldn't reply.

"I think he's had a breakdown, Jon..." Another voice spoke, "He won't respond no matter what you do to him, he's in shock."

Arin's head turned to see Dan being carried away on a stretcher and he let out a breath, "I'm free."  

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