Lilac Sky (Sequel To: High Up)


8. Eight - The Taste That Your Lips Allow

Snuggle Man: This isn't Ross...

A sudden hot wash of panic washed over him, feeling sick to his stomach.

He couldn't believe what he'd done, that he'd fucked up so badly. How did he manage to do this, How'd he screw up in such a horrible way?

Big Cat: Oh fuck!

Big Cat: Wrong person!!!

Arin rubbed furiously at his eyes, tears falling furiously down his plump cheeks. He was pissed, he hated himself for this.

Snuggle Man: What the fuck are you talking about Arin?

Snuggle Man: Are you like...

Snuggle Man: Serious?

Arin sat and read each message over and over again, not replying, not having enough strength to bring himself to type out a lie. He was so in love and it hurt. Every second that ticked by made him feel even worse as the texts kept coming.

Snuggle Man: Arin?

Snuggle Man: Arin...

Snuggle Man: I know you're reading these

Snuggle Man: Please reply...

Snuggle Man: Arin, please.

Snuggle Man: I guess I'll just leave you alone then...

Snuggle Man: Sorry

Arin read each with a heavy heart. He wished he could just reply, he wished he wasn't so afraid of losing Danny. He knew that he would quite lose Danny, but he knew they'd never be the same. They would never be able to joke about fucking each other without it being awkward, they couldn't joke about being in love, they couldn't be them.

Arin really had fucked up, hadn't he?


Danny stared at his phone with hope, waiting for a reply. Maybe it really had been another one of his famous 'wrong person' texts. Arin did do that quite a bit so it wouldn't shock him.

"Yo! Danny!?" Ross called out, causing Dan to jump.

"Yeah!?" He called back.

"Ross and I are going out! You wanna come with!?" Barry asked and at first Dan hesitated.

"You know what?" He muttered, exiting his room, "Why not?" He smiled, Dan hadn't gotten out much so this was a great opportunity.

Though he had mistakenly forgotten his phone on the bed in his room, which lit up once he was gone with a text.

Big Cat: I was serious and I'm sorry.


Felix was seated alone in a bar, where he'd been quite frequently since he'd left Ryan, who he was still madly in love with.

He noticed someone sitting besides him, not bothering to glance over at who it was, he didn't feel like being hit on that night, though he was in a gay bar so it was bound to happen.

"One of the strongest things you can make." The familiar sounding voice from beside him spoke up. Now Felix couldn't help but to look over and see who it was. And once he had, his eyes widened, seeing a person he'd never expect.

"Arin?" Felix spoke before he could stop himself.

"F-Felix!?" Arin jumped, cursing at himself, he knew he shouldn't have gone there.

"What are you doing? Does Suzy know you're here?" Felix shouted over the music.

"Suzy and I aren't together anymore." Replied Arin.

"Oh... You know this is a gay bar right?" Felix informed the other.

"Uh... Well, y-yeah..." Arin mumbled more to himself than to Felix.

"Wait, are you like Bi or something? Or like have you always been gay?"Feilx kept asking more and more questions to which Arin wished he didn't have to answer.

"I-I'm not sure." Arin wanted to leave and Felix could tell.

"Sorry to bother you, Arin." He spoke as the bar tender placed a beer down on the bar in front of the distraught older, who immediately began to chug it, finishing the large glass of alcohol quickly and slamming the glass to the bar. That was very impressive considering Arin had never really drank before.

"So what brings you here, aren't you engaged?" His muttered, already beginning to slur from the amount of liquor he had just consumed.

"Danny didn't tell you?" Felix growled bitterly.

"No...? Huh?" Asked Arin, ordering yet another drink.

"He fucked my fiancé and ruined everything between Ryan and I." Felix seethed and Arin's eyes widened. Were Ryan and Danny a couple?

"What!? He never said that to me!" Snapped Arin, feeling his heart sink deeper.

"Yeah... What are you doing here?" Felix changed the subject.

"I've fallen hard for someone that will never love me back, someone who never could." Frowned Arin with a horrible ache in his chest.

"I'm sorry man."


The two talked for hours, finishing drink after drink. They forgot most of the night and Arin woke up alone in his apartment with a sticky note stuck to his forehead;

Hey, sorry I couldn't say. I was sick and also I realized that I needed my Ryan back. Thanks for a great night and also for showing me what I needed to do.
Also, good luck getting with whoever it was that you missed

Arin sighed and pushed his fingers through his hair. Felix had someone to get back but Arin had nobody. He couldn't help but start to silently cry, his chest hurt and he just wanted to be around Danny at the moment, even if they weren't a couple, he just wanted to smile again and Dan could make him smile no matter what.

He found himself dialing his friend's number which instantly went to voicemail. He let out a whimper and texted Barry to ask if Dan were with him.

Arin: Hey are you with Dan?

Barry: Yeah, we all went out yesterday night, why?

Arin: Can you have Danny call me, I need to talk to him.

Barry: Yeah, he left his phone at home by accident, he'll call you on my phone rn.

Arin: Thanks.

Several moments later his phone rang and he answered to hear the sweet, blissful sound of the singer's voice.

"Hey, is everything okay, Arin?" Danny asked with worry laced in his words.

"No." He whimpered out, "I-I'm having a really bad day." He spoke, suddenly noticing the how sick he felt. His stomach ached badly from how much alcohol he'd had the previous night and his body hurt everywhere from the strain he'd put on it.

"Awe, what's wrong? Do you need me to come home?" He asked, extremely concerned about his younger friend.

"I don't wanna ruin your fun, I just need someone to talk to for a-" Arin froze, that familiar wash of nausea came over him and he dropped his phone to the bed before dashing off to be sick. He was never, ever taking another sip of alcohol ever again.

"Arin? You there, man?" Danny spoke as Arin picked the phone up again.

"Hey, sorry." Arin mumbled, feeling absolutely terrible, no wanting Danny to be home with him more than ever. Well he wished that anyone was home with him for that matter.

"Are you okay?" Danny asked, now more worried than ever, "I'm coming home now." He spoke and Arin wasn't protesting that at all.

"I'm not okay, please come home." Arin pleaded weakly, "I'm really feeling bad. I'm sick and need you to take care of me." Arin whined, not giving a shit how pathetic he sounded.

"Okay, I'm on my way, I'll be there soon." Danny replied, "I've gotta go, Barry needs his phone back." He said calmly, "I'll see you soon."


Danny entered the apartment alone, eyes heavy from a lack of sleep.

"Danny?!" He heard his name being called faintly from the bedroom he shared with his best friend.

"Coming!" Danny called and made his way to the small room, finding his roommate curled up beneath a mountain of blankets, "What are you doing?" Danny asked, peeling the layers of blankets away from the boy's face. Arin looked terrible, he was pale and shaky, he had bright, deep purple bags beneath his eyes, which were bloodshot and half-lidded.

"I think I'm dying." Frowned Arin, "I'm so sick, please kill me." He begged.

"I'm not killing you." Dan rolled his eyes, "Why are you so sick anyway?" He questioned, feeling his friends forehead, he was extremely warm.

"I went out drinking." He muttered sickly.

"What? Why?" Dan knew that Arin never really wanted to drink because he said he didn't like the taste, why would he just suddenly want to?

"I had a rough day." He slurred. and shrugged.

"I could tell." Danny sat down on the edge of the bed carefully. He reached over as pushed the stray hair out of Arin's face, "What's this?" Asked Dan, grabbing the note from Felix that was rested on the table. At first Arin didn't think anything of it, but then he remembered. 

Arin sat bolt up right and went to grab the note from his friend but he was too late, "You're bi?" Spoke Danny who only got a frozen stare from Arin, "It's okay if you are." Dan comforted.

"I-I guess I am? I-I'm not sure." Arin shrugged tiredly.

"That's okay, you'll find yourself in time." Dan smiled at him, "But, Uh... Did you like... Hook up with Felix?" He rubbed anxiously at the back of his neck.

"Yeah, I heard about what happened with you and Ryan." Arin mumbled as he slid back into his blanket mound, wanting to get some sleep. He heard a soft chuckle come from Danny and his weight shifted from the bed, making Arin whine, "No! Don't leave me!" He whimpered like a child.

"I'm just going to find my phone." Danny informed, "Don't worry, I'm not gonna leave you."

"Okay." Arin yawned sleepily.

"Get some rest, Big Cat."


Felix ran his fingers through his hair, pacing around on the deck of his former home. He had been there for what felt like hours, several times he'd built up the courage to bring his fist to the door, but never to tap them against it.

Eventually he gave up and slammed his fist to the wooden door, instant regret filling him. He stood and waited, getting no answer so he knocked again. 

After doing that for a while he got worried, he knew Ryan had to be home. This time he pulled out his spare key, unlocking the door and stepping inside, "Ryan!?" Felix called out, "It's Felix! We need to talk!" He still got nothing but could hear something from upstairs and he of course went to go find it. Once he reached the top of the stairs he could tell it was some kind of loud music, "Ryan?" He spoke.

His phone buzzed in his pocket as he was reaching to open the door to the bedroom that they once shared.

Ryan: I'm sorry

Ryan: Goodbye Felix...

A panic rushed through him, this couldn't be happening.

"Ryan! Don't-" He pulled the door open just in time to find Ryan with a hand full of pills. Ryan jumped, the small capsules all crashing to the floor.

"Felix! What are you-" Ryan was cut off my Felix grabbing him, holding him close with tears pouring down his pink cheeks.

"Don't you ever scare me like this ever again, Ryan." He sobbed, "Don't you dare do this again." He cried.

"Felix, I'm sorry. W-What are you doing here? Are you here to get the last of your stuff?" Ryan forced himself not to cry.

"No, I want to come back. I love you so much, Ryan and I'm so sorry... I should've listened." He frowned.

"I-I don't-"

"Just-Just hear me out." Felix spoke up.

"Yeah?" Ryan asked and Felix released him.

"Okay, so, I-I know this may seem really dumb and you probably don't want me around anymore, but um... I-I really like... Um, I love you so much, Ryan and-and... Uh..." Felix stammered nervously, fumbling around in his pocket, trying to get his hand steady enough to grab it.

"Are you okay?" Ryan asked softly, seeing how anxious he'd suddenly become.

"Yeah, uh, Ryan... Ryan Terry, will... uh, will you marry me?" He finally held out his hands as he got to one knee in front of his lover. Ryan smiled, tears finally falling.

"Of course I will you dork." Ryan laughed and pulled Felix in for a kiss.

"I'm so sorry, Ryan." Felix mumbled.

"Stop telling me you're sorry and show me that you mean it." Ryan smirked and pulled Felix to the bed.


Dan found his phone about an hour after Arin had fallen asleep. He plugged it in and went to check all of the messages he got.

Something from his mother asking about him and Arin's visit this weekend, a few messages from Jack and Mark asking about a collaboration video along with a few of his other friends just saying how. And lastly, there was one from Arin.

He first replied to all of the texts from his mother and friends, then checked to see what Arin had said.

Big Cat: I was serious and I'm sorry.

Danny was sat in shock by what he had just read. Arin was in love with him? Why him? 

Dan didn't want to ruin their friendship, he cherished it too much. He wouldn't mention it, well not yet at least.


"Arin! Hurry up! We need to leave like now or we're gonna miss our flight!" Called Dan throughout the apartment.

"I'm hurrying! Jesus Christ, calm your tits!" Arin called back.

"If we miss our flight I am going to murder you!" Dan huffed as he flopped down onto the couch.

"Have fun with that, Shithead." Arin replied as he stumbled out of their room, shirt half on, bouncing around, trying to pull his jeans up with one hand as he brushed his teeth with the other, "Yo, can you get my shoes?" Arin slurred with the toothbrush hanging from between his lips.

"Go get dressed you moron!" Dan laughed, taking a picture of Arin in his pathetic state. Arin flipped him off and hopped back into their room to finish getting ready.


"This is so boring." Complained Arin.

"Well we can do fun stuff once we're in Jersey. For now why don't you just take a nap." Danny commented, to which Arin pushed his face into Danny's shoulder, cuddling into him more and pressing his face into the older's chest, "Uh!" Dan gasped in surprise.

"Shut up, I'm sleeping." Arin mumbled.

"Well, guess I'm stuck like this..." 


The plane landed and the two made their way, sleepily off. Going to find Dan's sister who was waiting for them. Arin was leaned against Danny, to tired to walk around, wanting to go to bed.

"Dana!" Called Danny running to his sister, causing Arin to almost fall over, the taller threw his arms around his younger sister.

"Hi, Leigh!" She beamed, "How's my favorite brother!?" Dana smiled excitedly.

"I'm really good, how's my little sister?" He also was smiling from ear to ear.

"Eh-hem." Muttered Arin, waiting to be introduced.

"Oh! Dana, this is Arin, Arin, this is my sister Dana." He smiled.

"Hi, Arin! It's nice to meet you! Are you and my brother dating or something?" She asked, extending her hand out towards the other.

"Nice to meet you too... And, um... No, we... were just friends." Arin told her, taking her hand in his.

"Oh, okay! Uh, You two should go get you're bags, mom wants us home before dinner." Informed  Dana.

"Alright! Let's go, Arin!" Danny grabbed his arm, pulling him along to get their baggage.

Man, he was so in love.


The night sky laid dully around the two men as they sat on the small roof that hung out from below the window of Dan's old bedroom.

The merkey black of the evening prevented either from even seeing their hands in front of their faces.

"Arin?" Dan spoke up after about an hour or so of sitting in complete silence, except for soft breathing and the sounds of the night.

"Mmm?" Hummed Arin in response, sounding sleepy.

"Could I tell you something?" Asked Dan, "I've never told anybody this."

"Yeah, what's up?"

"When I was younger I was like... I was a really sad kid and I was unhappy... Well, I decided I'd had enough and wanted to end it all, so I jumped from here. I wasn't high up enough to as much as kill myself. I broke an arm, a leg and a few ribs but that was it. I lied to my parents and told them that I fell. They never knew about what happened, and I don't think I'll ever tell them." He spoke, laying on his back, staring upward into the blackness of the night.

"... Dan... I-I don't know what to say..." Arin said after a while of sitting in complete silence.

"You don't have to..." Dan replied, "I just wanted for someone to finally know." He mumbled. Suddenly he felt arms go around him tightly.

"I'm sorry." Arin said softly into his friend's shoulder.

"Don't be, I'm okay now." The older told him with a half smile.

"Could...Could I maybe tell you something too?" Arin bit at his lip anxiously.

"Yeah, you sound nervous, is everything okay?" Dan questioned, hoping that his friend was alright.

"Well, um... I-I... Erm..." Mumbled Arin, who soon sighed, moving closer to Danny, "Fuck it." His voice came out small as he leaned up, placing a finger beneath the taller's chin as he pushed his lips against Danny's. 

This really was happening.


"Truth." Ross spoke as him and Barry played Truth or Dare for the GrumpOut channel.

"When was the last time you were in love?" Barry read off of the app he had on his phone.

"Umm..." Ross murmured, panicking slightly, "I'm in love right now actually." He confessed anxiously. Barry wasn't gay. Ross told himself over and over.

"Ooh! Who with!?" Barry wiggled his brow.

"That's not part of the question!" Ross shouted quickly, grabbing the phone from the other, his face a bright shade of red.

"Dare." Barry told him, "Cause I'm not a little bitch."

"Play the pocky game with player two." Ross read, feeling hies heart pounding in his chest.

"Alrighty, let's do this." Barry stood, going to the Grump kitchen to get a box of the sweet Japanese candy that Arin horded around the office.

It was just a kiss.

Only a kiss.

Ross just had to keep saying that.

It wouldn't mean anything.


Barry held one end in his mouth, waiting for Ross to join him.

"Hurry up." Barry grumbled, gripping the sweet cracker between his teeth carefully.

"Uh... Oh-Okay..." Ross murmured as he placed his lips around the pink chocolate covered end of the stick. Barry removed his, moving closer to Ross and biting down. Ross followed sit, their faces too close for comfort.

Barry and Ross repeated the step a few more times until their lips were just about to touch. Ross knew he couldn't do this, he gave up and pulled his mouth away, as if to tell Barry he'd won. Though as Ross pulled away Barry's hand quickly was placed on the back of Ross' head. He brought their lips together, kissing Ross with full force.

It was only a kiss.

He had to remember this.

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