High Up

This is about how a complete stranger can change your view of life, and even become your whole world.


{Book One - High Up}
{Book Two - Lilac Sky}
{Book Three - Brightest Stars} (Coming Soon)


18. Eighteen - Sicker Than You Know

Jack was curled up in bed, it was close to three in the morning when he was awoken by the worst pain he’s ever felt in his entire life. He hugged his knees to his chest, moving around and trying to find a comfortable place to get the pain to go away, though every move he made caused even more pain. Jack felt ill, as if he were going to be sick. The ache in his side was killing him, he gripped at it from beneath his shirt, and Mark’s heated bare skin was making him feel even worse than before. Jack could feel the heat radiating off of his own skin, surprised that it hadn’t woke Mark.

Jack rolled from the bed, using all of the power in his body not to let out a cry, he didn’t want to scare Mark too much, and he also refused to go to the hospital. Jack was so petrified of hospitals that he would not go if he could fight against whoever wanted to bring him and he knew if he woke Mark, he’d be in the hospital in an instant.

Jack stumbled into the bathroom, tears falling down his cheeks from the pain in his body. The boy dropped to his knees in front of the toilet, retching and praying that Mark wouldn’t wake up, though being with Jack so long and his tendency to record at the most random hours of the night Mark usually slept through even the loudest of yelling that Jack had done so he was pretty sure everything was fine. The small Irish boy hugged his knees to his chest, tiny whimpers slipping from between his lips as he clutched his sore stomach. Jack knew something was seriously wrong but he could not and would not go to the hospital, he was so fucking scared of the hospital he’d do almost anything to get out of going.

The boy’s shaking body soon could not take sitting up any longer and he toppled over onto his side on the icy floor. Jack still hugged his knees against his shivering figure, his body was overly hot but he felt like so damn cold, he wanted to go cuddle up to Mark but he wasn’t ready to feel as much pain as he would trying to get back to bed, though he was already in a shit ton of pain movement was so, so painful that he just couldn’t handle it. Jack was sobbing and every breath he took caused excruciating misery throughout him. He whimpered, sitting upright quickly and heaving violently into the cold porcelain bowl. Jack sobbed, feeling so awful. He had no idea what was wrong with him, and that scared him to death.

The tiny boy wanted Mark more than anything but didn’t want to have to wake him, he had a long day, he rushed around, editing videos, making videos, cleaning and getting food because Jack had gone out to eat and visit his brother. That was it, maybe it was just food poisoning! Jack knew that wasn’t it from experience, he just really needed something to hold on to at that moment. Jack heaved again loudly, gagging as he cried, holding his sides, sicker than ever.

“Jacky?” The Irishman heard Mark grumble from the bedroom, the bed creaking as the weight shifted from it. Jack stayed silent as he teetered from side to side, waiting for Mark to come find him. Jack knew if he spoke up he’d vomit so he preferred to stay silent, “Jacky?” Mark repeated, pushing the door open a crack and peaking in, finding his lover sobbing on the floor shaking, with fear and pain prevalent in his eyes.

“Mark…” Jack bawled as his boyfriend rushed to comfort him. Mark kneeled beside the fragile and small lad that resembled much of a child in his state.

“What’s wrong babe? Are you ill?” Mark panicked.

“I-I don’t know what’s wrong wit me Mark, I’m s-so scared!” Jack sniveled, clutching his belly in agony.

“What’s hurting Jack? Is it your stomach?” Mark pressed his cold hand to Jack’s sweltering forehead.

“Yeh, Mark, it’s so bad… I-I… I’m scared, it’s killing me, the pain is so bad I can’t explain it.” Jack gasped as the ache got sharper, “Gah! Mark make it stop! Please!” Jack pleaded, braking down into hysterical wails of misery.

“Where is the pain worst? I think I know what’s wrong.” Mark now sounded about as panicked as his Irish love.

“M-Mostly my-my side… Ah-ow! Mark…” Jack looked so helpless and afraid that Mark wanted to cry himself.

“Alright, you need a hospital right now Jack, come on.” Mark stood, going to pick the scrawny little one from the floor who immediately scrambled away from Mark as fast as he possibly could.

“No! No hospital Mark! I-I’ll be fine!” Jack broke down into a full on panic attack.

“Jack…” Mark kneeled down on the chilled floor besides Jack, resting a hand on the boy’s leg, “I know you hate hospitals but you have to, I won’t leave your side for one single moment, I swear… You probably have appendicitis and if you don’t get it taken out it’ll burst and kill you. I know because it happened to me like two years ago, I almost died because I didn’t get to the hospital before it burst.” Mark pleaded with the small one.

“But, M-Mark I just… I’m so s-scared I- can’t fuckin’ do this…” Jack’s breathing became unsteady and he gripped Mark’s hand as tight as humanly possible.

“Don’t worry, I’ll be right there every single second.”


Dan was laid against his best friend Phil, drunk out of his mind as Phil watched movies. Dan had gone a little over bored while doing an Internet Support Group video for his YouTube channel and now he was barely even able to stand up on his own at this point. Phil was trying his best to ignore Dan’s random outbursts of laughter and stuff like that.

“Hey, Phil?” Giggled Dan, tugging at his friend’s arm. Phil didn’t even look away from his movie to answer.

“What is it this time, Dan?” Phil groaned.

“Wanna know a secret?” Hiccupped Dan as he pulled at Phil’s arm some more.

“No, I’m good.” Phil knew it was going to just be him saying something stupid as fuck such as, ‘I’m secretly Winnie the Pooh,’ or something along those lines.

“Come on, it’s a good secret, you’ll like it.” Dan slurred drunkenly, reeking of alcohol.

“Fine, what is it?” Phil leaned forward, grabbing the remote to pause the movie. Dan stirred from where he’d been laying on his friend, moving to an upright position and leaning closer to Phil. Before Phil could realize what Dan was trying to do, the intoxicated boy has closed the gap between them. The gesture caused Phil to freeze, unable to pull away even though it felt profoundly wrong, not that the boy didn’t enjoy it but he just felt like he would be taking advantage of his friend if he kissed back, obviously Dan wasn’t thinking straight.

Dan pulled away slowly, looking up at Phil with half closed, bloodshot eyes, “Shh…” Murmured Dan, “Don’t tell, Phil.”


Dan moaned, head rested on the cool table top while Phil got him some pills for his hangover, “Why did I have to drink so much?”

“I have no idea, Dan, but here, take these. They should make you feel better.” Phil handed Dan the pills and two cookies to go with them.

“Thanks… Hey, um… Did I do anything weird?” Dan asked nervously.

“Wha- N-No, you-you just slept most of the time.” Phil panicked hearing this question.

“What did I do?” Groaned Dan.

“Nothing, you didn’t do anything…” Phil knew he sounded suspicious and that Dan knew it as well but he really didn’t want to ruin their friendship over it.

“Phil, come on, just tell me what I did.” Dan prodded.

“It’s nothing, you just laid on the couch with me while I watched movies.” It wasn’t a total lie.

“Seriously, Phil.” Dan sighed, “Just tell me, I know I must have done something. Whenever I get drunk like that I do something stupid. Even you know that.”

“Fine, you really wanna know what you did?” Phil gave in, tired of lying. He glanced at Dan momentarily seeing him nodding his head vigorously, “Alright then… You kissed me Dan, you asked if I wanted to know a secret and then kissed me and promptly said ‘don’t tell, Phil.’” He explained, seeing Dan look at him with worry in his wide eyes.

“I-I kissed you!?” He croaked anxiously, “Phil, I-I… I’m so, so sorry… I-I…” Dan shook his head as he got up and rushed from the room without another word.

“Dan! It’s fine! Seriously, it wasn’t your fault! You were drunk!” Phil darted after him, catching him just as he was about to leave their flat. Phil grabbed onto his friend’s arm preventing him from leaving.

“Let go of me, Phil!” Dan, spun to push the boy away from him, tears dripping down his face.

“No! You didn’t do anything wrong, Dan. It’s not your fault that you did that, you weren’t thinking straight.”

“That’s because I’m not.” Dan replied, “I have the biggest crush on you and I hate myself for it! You probably hate me now, I get it if you-“Phil grabbed the boy and slammed his lips to Dan’s, pulling him as close as possible. At first Dan was frozen, unable to figure out what was going on but he soon melted into the other’s grasp, lips moving in sync. Phil proceeded to tug his newly found lover to the couch, collapsing on to it with Dan toppling down on top of him, never once breaking their kiss.

“I love you, Daniel.”

“I love you too, Phillip.”


Mark paced the eerily empty waiting room on his own, scared out of his mind about Jack. He didn’t know what he’d do without him. Mark was exhausted and in need of his lover. The boy reached into his pocket as he sat down in one of the chairs, pulling out his phone to call Arin and Danny of the Game Grumps, needing someone to comfort him.

“Hello?” Grumbled Danny sleepily.

“Danny? It’s Mark… Could you or Arin come and be with me?” Mark quivered.

“Why? Where are you?” Danny asked nervously, “Are you okay? Is Jack okay?”

“I’m at the hospital waiting for them to tell me something about Jack, he was rushed to surgery and I wasn’t informed as of why and I’m so scared. Please come be with me?” Mark begged.

“Yeah, I-I’ll be there in a few, Arin isn’t feeling well so it’ll just be me, is that okay?” Danny was now getting worried about Mark and Jack, they were both really good friends of his and he knew how much they loved each other. Danny knew that if anything happened to either of them the other would never be able to cope.


“Mark! Hey, how are you doing?” Danny ran up to the boy and engulfed him in a hug.

“I’m okay… I’m just scared shitless over all of this, and nobody’s telling me anything.” Mark leaned into the embrace, feeling slightly better now that he had someone to calm him down.

“Jack’ll be fine, he’s strong and he has an amazing man to fight for.” Danny smiled sympathetically at Mark who sighed and nodded, “Everything will be Okay.


Jack awoke alone in a hospital room, he sat up painfully as he looked for his lover, “Mark?” He whimpered, his chest felt extremely tight and he felt as though it were impossible to breathe. The boy pressed the nurse call button and within moments a small slightly pudgy nurse hurried in.

“Mr. McLoughlin, how are you feeling?” The woman asked worriedly.

“I-I feel like I-I can’t-t bre-eathe.” Gasped Jack. The nurse held up one finger before rushing from the room, only to return seconds later followed by a doctor. The doctor, whose nametag read, Dean Brackett, approached Jack and pulled an oxygen cannula over his head and placing them into his nose. The man stood watching Jack for several moments before speaking.

“Is that any better?”

“Erm, y-yeah… Where’s, Mark?” Jack was more worried about Mark than himself at the moment.

“He’s being informed on your condition Mr. McLoughlin…” Dean spoke.

“What do you mean?” Jack asked cautiously.

“Mr. McLoughlin, I really wish I didn’t have to tell you this…” The older male paused, “We found a tumor on your lung while operating to take out your appendix, after we had done more tests we found out that it was… Cancer.”

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