In Love With Your Destruction

She never noticed him
He had his eye on her.
She fell for him.
He broke her.
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Fifteenth year old Ny'dia grew up in a life of hardships and never knowing not what a bad day was. She had finally been able to overcome her depression and suicidal ways and become the happy person she dream to be: playing sports, having friends, great grades. Even though at home she face more chaos than any teen could handle. But she able to balance it all until she meets Dorian Mann. A buff, cocky player with a dark past and dark mind who sets his sights on Ny'dia. They fall in love in all the wrong ways but when he violates her in the cruelest way and breaks her trust. Will she be able to forgive him and move on or will she try to destroy the very pain he caused her?
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8. Chapter 7

Dorian POV

97..98..99...100. Few! I get up off the ground after finishing my push ups. I lay down on my back and start doing my curl ups. I'm trying to focused on my exercise but I can't stop thinking about last night.

WARNING SEXUAL SCENE AHEAD

FLASHBACK

"Fuck" I say before I sweep down and press my lips against Ny'dia's. I can feel myself get harder the more I press my body against hers. 

Hearing her call me 'Daddy' got me so excited. It sounded so sexy coming out of her mouth. 

"Mmm, more please Daddy!" There she go again with that shit. I bite her bottom lip hard before I wrap my right hand around her neck. My left is pulling her leg closer around my hip. I push my knees into the carpet so I don't lay on her, she moaning louder and now she calling my name. I pull away a little and look out the corner of my eye to look out the crack of  the door. Good, I pull away and start kissing down Ny'dia's neck. Her hands are clutching onto my biceps like she don't want me to pull away no more from her. I ain't even trying to do that.

"D...Dorian" She breathlessly calls my name out. 

I take my hand from her neck and start trailing it down her chest slowly, she's breathing harder. I wonder how much experience she's ever had, I barely done anything yet. My hand travels down to her flat stomach and she starts squirming around. 

Nu uh, we ain't playing them games Love. 

I press my left hand down on her hip and hold her steady, I'm still kissing down her and I get to her collarbone and start sucking on her skin trying to lay my mark on her. My hand is pass her navel right above the hem of her leggings. 

" Wait, oh fuck, not there." Too bad.

I cup her pussy and firmly press against it. She arches her back and gasps, I chuckle. I rub my hand slowly back and forth. 

"AH!" She squeals out, damn girl.

"Shh" I whisper in her ear as I put my hand over her mouth trying to muffle her sounds. She grabs my hand with both of hers but she isn't trying to pull it away. I start stroking her faster while staring her in the eye. Her facial expression looks so sexy and so stunned, like she isn't sure but she not pulling away. I stop stroking her and dip my hand inside her leggings and panties, her eyes widen and she stares down. I start rubbing  her clit, I can feel she got a fat pussy and that she's soaked wet down there. I push my finger against her clit and she let's out another loud moan and spreads her legs wide for me while arching her body into me. She looks so beautiful and sexy breathless and erratic under me. I push my finger at the opening of her pussy, her eyes look at me at alarm, I smirk and push my finger deep inside her.

"Ahh!" She screams muffled by my hand. 

I start finger fucking her fast and deep biting my lips, I ain't said nothing I just want to watch her. My dick hurts at this point but I'm trying to keep in control for a little longer.

"Mmm, ugh, ahh" I hear her moan as she trying to squirm away from me. Nah baby you ain't runnin' from Daddy.

Just as I thrust another finger deep into her she lets out a whine and stills, she starts gasping and shaking before falling to the ground breathing hard. I chuckle knowing I'm the shit.

" Feel good baby" I say chuckling pulling my hand from between her legs and sucking on my fingers tasting her.

She breathing hard staring at my suck my fingers off. Than her eyes start to gloss over and she presses her lips tight, they make a pout. I can see tears in her eyes. Okay, now I'm confused.

"Um, you okay-" I start to ask, she pushes me off of her and sits up, She brings her knees to her chest and burring her face wrapping her arms around herself. I can hear sniffling. I can feel my dick going soft now.

Damn, what I do??

"Um, Ny'dia what's wrong? Did I hurt you? Was I too hard?  Look, I'm sorry I shouldn't of done that to you-"

"No, it's..not that." She sobs out, I can tell she's crying now.

" Ny'dia.. Can you look up at me please? " I ask her gently.

She looks up at me with a sad tear-stained face, her lips look more full and her eyes are glossy. Even crying, this girl is still attractive to me. 

"Ny'dia, what's wrong? Why are you crying? Please let me know?" I say sitting up and starring at her with what I hope is a gentle face. She already looks sad enough.

" It's just that..huh" She starts, taking a breath. I give her a look hoping it encourages her to go on.

" It's just that. I've been hurt so much and I don't want to get hurt anymore. I don't want you to hurt me and leave me like everyone else." She says than starts sobbing more.

"Aww, Ny'dia. Look, I'm not going to hurt you or leave you anytime soon okay. So there no need to cry alright. I'm not like them other dudes, I actually care for you. I like you, a lot and I want to continue to get to know you not hurt you. That's no my intention." I tell her.

" So..you're not going to hurt me and leave me?" She says looking so small and afraid.

" Nah"

"You promise?" She says wiping away her tears.

" Yeah, I promise." She smiles and gives me a big hug and lets out a content sigh. I wrap my arms around her and pull her into my lap. And lean back watching the rolling credits of the movie.

" Dorian?" 

"Hmm?"

" Can we make out some more?" I chuckle

"Sure" I lean down and kiss her and we go another round.

END OF FLASHBACK

After our second make out session, we watch another movie before she and her mom bounce. I walked her to her mom's car and we hugged, she gave me a kiss on the cheek and promised to text me tomorrow. I headed back in with pops, went and took a shower and headed to bed feeling good.

But then when I woke up the next morning at about 8:30 a.m., I started thinking about what happened last night. I didn't regret the kiss or any of the things we did, but what she told me stayed in my mind. It's no secret, something happened with her. I don't know what but her reaction after we only kissed and I touched her kind of raised red flags with me. I mean, I haven't been with a female like that who reacted like that and we didn't even have sex. Did something bad happened to her?

And what's with her being scared I'd leave her? I get the possibility of me causing her pain, that how any female might feel when they start talking to a guy. That's nothing new. But what's me leaving got to do with anything? I'm not even her man, yet. 

I got up and started working out, exercise usually helps me clear my mind and think. But I've been at it for an hour and half and I still thinking about the shit. It's not that it's puts me off but now I wonder do I really want to be in relationship with her? It seems like she got some baggage or at the very least clingy. It didn't bother me before, but then she didn't cry on me like that before. Like what if she one of those females who do some drastic shit to get my attention? I don't want to deal with no broad who threatened to slice her self if I don't pick up my phone or attacking females who talk to me. I want to say she not like that, but I don't know her that  well. 

...113...114...115.. I sit up letting out a breath. I don't ever even been in a committed relationship now that I think about it. All my relationships either were short termed, they did something to piss me off or we never actually got together. Do I even know how to be committed?  I wonder. I might be a player but I could be a faithful boyfriend, do romance all that shit. But does she seem worth all the shit I can already tell comes with her? What do I even actually like about her? 

I get up and grab some black sweats and a red t shirt and go to my bathroom. I turn the shower on and start stripping out of my clothes. When the water s hot enough, I pull the curtain back and step inside the shower letting the hot water run down my body. Why do I like Ny'dia?  I grab a wash cloth I and pour some soap in it and start washing my body thinking about her.  I like her body, that's for sure.  She might not have a chest but she defiantly got something going on. I know that ass felt good in my hands that's for damn sure. I like her eyes. Her eyes are so expressive and full of life, I can tell how she feels just by looking at her. There big and pretty, she can't hide how she feel about things and I like that she wears her heart on her sleeves. But at the same time that makes me want to protect her and be there for her cause niggas can sense vulnerability and I don't want to see her get hurt.  I like that she wants my attention all the time.  Call me conceited but I like feeling like important and females know just how to make or break your ego the more attention they give you. She always giving me hers: texting me, calling me, hugging me whenever she sees me, whining for me to talk to her. Like she isn't super clingy, she just wants attention but she doesn't do anything crazy to get it.  She don't act out and she don't be on niggas.  At school, she's pretty quiet she don't hang out with people I do: I only see her hang out with a few girls one of them don't like me though, Jeannette or something. Don't care. She goes to the library and I always see her walking to class reading a book. And she never on niggas! That's what i really like, I don't like girls who think it's cute to be around a whole bunch niggas and think they ya friends. I'm sorry but if you only got guy friends or always around guys, y'all not just friends. I ain't dumb. The only guys I see her talk to or either her teammates or people from her classes, she gives me her attention but she don't bat an eye o the niggas that stare at her. To be honest, I don't think she even noticed and I'm fine with that. 

I rinse my body off after washing my hair, I turn the shower off, step out and grab a towel and start drying my body off. I open my cabinet below my sink and reach in to take out my Cocoa-Butter lotion and start lotioning my body then I put on my clothes. I decided to go commando since Pops not here and I'm not planning to go nowhere right now. I make sure I clean everything up then I head to my room to fix it up a bit before I walk downstairs to the kitchen to get something to eat.

  More rest and sex is all a nigga needs
In a lifetime of stress tryna put my mind at ease
I'm not lookin' at the phone, too much shit been goin' on
But while we got this moment of peace alone, girl
We should just get
(Drunk and f*ck, drunk and f*ck, drunk and f*ck)
Girl, we should just get
(Drunk and f*ck, drunk and f*ck, drunk and f*ck, drunk)   

I hear my phone upstairs before I run up to go get it, I don't look at the screen before I tap answer.

(Carter in bold and Dorian in italics)

D:  Hello

C: Hey Big Mann!!

D: Oh hey haha wassup man

C: Not much nigga, aye what you doin tonight?

D: Nothin' chillin' why

C: Bryson having a kick back at his place tonight, his bro got him some bud that supposed to be some good shit. Tia and her girls commin' through to, come thru nigga.

D: A'ight, cool. What time?

C: 6

D: Alright, I'm come for a bit

C: Cool, later

D: Bye

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Ny'dia POV ( Day after kiss)

" OMG NOOO VIV, JUSTIN BIEBER IS HOTTER AND YOU KNOW IT!" I groan into the phone. I'm on the phone with Viv and were arguing over whether Justin Bieber is hotter than Usher.

" How the hell can you say that? Usher is way sexier and older, that nigga more sophisticated and stable too. Justin Bieber is a little ass white boy." She says in defense

" NOOO JUSTIN BIEBER IS LIFE NIGGA. All those tattoos lawd! Plus Usher got kids now! You could be his daughter." I say

" Usher is better." 

" Lying to yourself isn't good but I'll forgive you for that. " 

" No this nigga didn't...haha you lucky I love you." She says

" I love you too little kid." I say teasing

" But yet I'm taller"

"...Fuck you Viv" I say and we burst out laughing. 

" You know whose hotter than Justin Bieber?" I say

" Everyone" She dryly replies

" No, August Alsina! Mmmm, I'd climb that tree. Wait nevermind that one girl tried to sue him after having sex with him. His thing too big. He still Daddy though." I say rambling.

" I thought my brother was Daddy" She says giggling

My jaw drops, " No you didn't."

" Haha, chill I'm playin' "

I scoff, " you better"

" But since it came up-" I roll my eyes, " what's going on with you two? Y'all dating or what?"

" No- well I don't know. I mean we kissed last night-" I start

" AHHH! WHAT ?!YESSS!" She screeches into my ear.

" haha, yeahh it was..it was pretty damn good." I say smirking.

" Aww, so are you two dating now? I really want y'all two. I can tell my brother likes you. "

" Well, I don't know. I was supposed to text him today but I got sidetracked and he hasn't talk to me all day. We didn't do much talking last night obviously. I don't know how he feels. It could of been a one time thing" I say sadden.

" Naww, if it was y'all would of fucked then he would be done with you, but y'all been talking for awhile and y'all just now kissed. I know my brother Ny'dia. We alike, he's taking his time."

" Yeah, I guess but I kind of cried after we kissed." I say embarrassingly.

" Um, what haha"

" I cried my emotions got to me and you know how I'm really sensitive and last year was pretty hard with the whole Calvin thing and Jordan and Gregg. Well I don't want to go through any of that anymore. But your brother was really comforting about it. It was really nice, we made out A LOT and we cuddles watching the movie. He tired me out though cause when I got home I fell asleep instantly." I say laughing.

"Okay I didn't have to know the ending, keep in mind he's my brother sooo I'm not trying to know about his sexual nature whatsoever. But I'm glad y'all had a good time. Girl I was so irritated last night with George. ugh" She scoffs

" Haha, what he do now?" I say as she go in detail about her potential nigga I know she never going to actually date. 

As she's talking I feel my phone buzz and my phone ring in the background of our conversation. " Hold up Viv" I say as I look down at the screen and see Dorian's name.

" Viv, I'll call you back, Dorian is calling me."

" Okay bye girl"

" Bye Love"

" Hello Teddy" I say switching the call, ending the one with Viv.

" Hey Baby" He says and I smile looking down at my bed.

" Um, hi."

" How are you? I haven't talk to you all day and I was thinking of you." He says making me smile hard.

" Um, I've been good, what about yourself? I've been thinking of you too. I had fun last night. " I say

"Me too Baby. I'm glad you did as well. That's actually what I'm calling about-" He starts and my smile immediately drops as I interrupt him.

" Do you regret it?" I blurt out hoping he says no.

" Wha-No! I was going to say I wanted to talk about us. I don't regret any of it, I very much enjoyed myself. Do you regret it?" He says and I can sense the tense in his voice.

" No, not at all.What do you want to talk about concerning you and me?" I say relieved to know he doesn't regret kissing me last night.

" Well good. I thought I should wait till I saw you Monday but I want to talk now about it. Ny'dia I really do like you. Not in a friend way, I don't want to only be your friend. I want to be your boyfriend. Especially after last night, but I also see we need to learn more about each other. So I'm not asking you our just yet, I'm just letting you know I am interested in you and I want us to take our time and get more comfortable with each other. I want to know you better and I want you to trust me and likewise with you. I'm not the typical guy, that cuff em' and leave em'. I either fuck or date.But I want more with you because you stand out more to me. Are you comfortable with us getting to know each other more Ny'dia?" He asked me.

I smile before I answer, " Sure, I'd like that. That'd be better, usually I just get into relationship with guys after we declare we like each other so it's nice to be with someone who wants to slow it down. It's different. You're different and I like you a lot. Man that sounds corny-" he chuckles "  it's okay" 

" I think you should know about me thought before we start doing this. I have a lot of baggage and my past isn't very clean. I did some fucked up stuff: like last year I hate to say it but I had an affair with Calvin while Sabrina and him were together. It was one time and I told her right the next day. I didn't want to break them up but the next morning when we saw each other and he was walking with her. He gave me this look like I was a piece of meat and licked his lips at me. I felt so disgusted and knew he would come back for more. I knew one way or another Sabrina was going to find out, it's high school, there isn't any secrets. And I felt if she was going to know I rather her know from me, it was fucked up what I did but I was going to be up in her face smiling like I was a good friend when I betrayed her. Even if it cost me my friendship with her. " I tell him, getting it off my chest. Hoping he won't think of me any differently.

" Look Ny'dia, I already knew about that. That was last year and I think it's pretty cool of you to even tell her, lots of girls wouldn't of said shit and kept fucking with the nigga. Then when shit hit the fan they would of acted dumb and like a victim. As for that nigga, he pussy nigga so I don't care about him. I don't care about what you did before me if you don't care what I did before you. We all got a past, it's who we be the next day that define us." He tells me and I'm happy knowing he isn't judging me.

"Thanks for not judging me, I appreciate it. Um, another thing, Calvin actually told me some things about you that was kind of foul-" I start to say before he cuts me off

" What he say?"

I then go and relay to him everything Calvin told me and he was not pleased at all. 

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Dorian POV

I can't believe this shit

This nigga really tried to talk shit behind my back to her and didn't think I'd find out.

Telling her shit I supposedly do, nigga you want to ride my dick or somethin' since you care who I'm messing with. 

I tried to chill because I don't want her to know how angry I am about that, it's not so much him being the one to do that but I find it disrespectful when niggas think they can't talk shit on you to your girl.Well she not my girl yet, but that's besides the point. He shouldn't of been talking shit, if he got something to say he can tell me. 

" You know what, forget that nigga?" I tell her.

" You're not going to do anything are you? Now I feel bad for telling you." She says

" Naw, I'm glad you came and told me what he said. I rather you be honest with me than keep anything from me. I don't like people that keep shit from me. Don't feel bad that nigga shouldn't of came at you talking about me to you like that. It's just not cool. Look, don't trip ma. I'm not doing anything crazy, I'm just going to address him." Which I very well mean.

" No, don't do that. Just keep it to yourself. It's not worth it." I roll my eyes.

" Boo, chill. It's cool. Anyway, I don't want to talk about him anymore. I want to talk about you."

" Haha, what about me?" She says and I know she smiling.

" What you got on?" I smirk as she giggles.

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So this chapter was a little less active and more talkative. But it got more deeper into how Ny'dia and Dorian feel.

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