A Luke fanfiction - Maybe this Christmas

Molly just wants Christmas to end. She lost her beloved boyfriend Luke in a car accident the day before Christmas a year ago but no one understands her pain and hate for Christmas; because you just can't hate Christmas, right? But maybe her small niece's love for Christmas and letters to Santa Claus can help Molly to make her biggest wish come true this year?
(This is an old story i have rewritten in english and as an fan fiction)

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1. It's Christmas time

I woke up to the sound of my alarm clock and made a deep sighed. I already had my day planed, even though it was Saturday but all I wanted was to stay in my lovely warm bed. I hit the bottom on top of the clock with a angry hand to stop the annoying sound. I sat up and looked around in my small bedroom. There was not room for more than my bed in here even though the cabinet was built into the wall. I could not afford to buy a rug for my bedroom and the one I had in my previous flat was too big for the room and places in the living room instead.
So I had to get myself together and throw myself over the bedside and place my poor feet on the cold floor. I shuddered before making my way out in my flat. Livingroom, dining room and kitchen was one big room so the smell of the microwave meal I got the day before was still hanging in the air when I sat in front of the TV. The morning host was smiling too much considered it was Saturday morning and she was asking some cook how to make the Christmas duck extra crispy and then again I was reminded of the date. It was once again the first of December. I had always loved Christmas. I use to love the way all the stores went crazy with the decoration. Hearts and elves in red and white everywhere. All the Christmas light and the little dance I did when a Christmas song came on the radio. Making Christmas cookies with my mom and sister. We use to make the best Vanilla Wreaths! I didn’t like the smell of melted butter so my sister did that and I was removing the grains from the vanilla pod. But this year I don’t even want to touch a vanilla pod or even think about that crispy duck.

I turned off the TV and went to the fridge and started into it for a minute. I didn’t know what to get or if I really should get anything to eat but staring into the fridge is a common thing for me. I ended up looking for cornflakes somewhere in the cabinet and ate a handful of them without milk before finding some clothes. I only just got it on when someone knocked on my door. I walked over while trying to tie my hair up in a ponytail and blew the last few strains of hair away from my eyes.
I look through the peepholes in my door and saw, as we agreed, my older sister with my 4 year old niece Amanda on the arm. I opened the door for them and my sister sat Amanda down and the little girl ran to me and hugs my legs instantly. Even though I didn’t feel like having any human contact I took her up in my arms and gave a hug while trying to smile at my sister. I wasn’t in the best mood and my sister knew me well enough to tell it. But she is my sister so all she gave me was a look that told me I was hopeless.

My sister’s husband was a rich fucker so just outside my building was the biggest and baddest BMW. But you don’t get rick without a lot of work and that is why I have to go with my sister and entertain Amanda. Her husband simply doesn’t have time to anything but work.
 We drove to the park where they put up an ice rink every year at Christmas time. Nothing more fun than frozen water you fall around on like Bambi in real life.
We rented some ice-skates for me and Amanda because she was afraid of skating. Last time we skated together was when she was 12 and I was 8. I remember the way she screamed when she broke her leg and but I was so mad on our dad because I could not continue skating. I didn’t get that she actually broke her leg and I feel bad thinking of it now. Though I never said I was sorry.

“Make sure she doesn’t fall!” My sister yelled at me from outside the rink while she was drinking her hot chocolate. I wish that was me. I was holding Amanda upright in her arms while she was trying to get forward on her small children skates. She twitched her arms and told me to let go of her and I did just that. Surprisingly she kept upright so I stood up and relaxed in my back again from bending over for so long. 
I looked around on all those happy people already celebrating the Christmas time. There were a lot of parents with their children but once in a while I spotted a couple skating while holding hands. They all looked so in love. A knot was forming in my stomach. It reminded me of Luke. He once took me to an indoor ice rink because it was impossible to put up an outdoor ice rink in Sydney where he was from. The indoor rink was beautifully decorated with plaited Christmas hearts and garlands and they were playing all the good Christmas music. Luke was not gifted with the skating skills now that he was Australian and had never experienced a real winter with frost and snow. He only took me to the ice rink because I missed the Christmas at home in New York.
I remember I had to hold his hand to make sure he was standing upright but it was never enough. We had to find a helping tripod the children used because he kept falling over and I had to sew the knees in his pants when we got home.

A child screaming shook me out of my thoughts and saw that Amanda had hit a bigger boy and had fallen on her bum. I hurried over to her and got her on her feet again but the tears were already streaming down her small cheeks and stained her scarf. My sister was already on her way out on the ice in her high heeled boots. She gave me a poison look before she lifted Amanda up on her arm.
“I thought you were looking out for her!” She said angrily and tried to wriggle her way out from the ice rink without falling while Amanda was acting up in her arms.
“Ma’am! You may not walk on the ice in your shoes!” The man we rented the skaters from yelled at us. My sister just winks at him to show that we were on our way out anyway while trying to calm Amanda.
“What were you thinking?” She hissed at me. She was scanning Amanda’s head and face for cuts or dents but there was nothing to see. I kicked off the skaters and sighed.
“You know what? You can take your own kid skating another time. I’m done!” I hissed back at her and handed the angry man his skaters again and left. I was not in the mood to fight my sister. Especially not at this time of the year. I just wanted to go home and wait until Christmas was over with.

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