The word I couldn't say

He made so many mistakes but every time I looked into those big brown eyes I forgave him all over again.


79. The truth is out.

Do you ever feel like the whole world is crashing down, like no matter what you do, it wouldn't matter cause it will just soon disappear in few seconds. Like if you stood in middle of the street scream so loud it hurts no one would even hear you, but that isn't the  worst part about it.

The pain!

The pain you feel when you see your whole world fall apart.

Seeing how all your friends slowly find a way out of your life, how much you and your parents are starting to fight, how it's beginning to be a fight with yourself to find joy in things, how it's an everyday battle to fall asleep and wake up cause you simply can't find purpose anymore and the worst of them all how you feel every day  that you break a little more and how you every day get's a little weaker, Cause you're simply starting to get more and more tired of trying, cause you know you already has lost, you knew from the start that this fight was doomed for you to loose. Cause with truth out, you were never strong, just a good actor and good at hiding things because you were always scared that, if someone saw the real you. They would treat you differently or not look at you the same way.

So you just keep everything on the inside and out on a fake smile and made it look like you were having the time of your life when in reality you were breaking on the inside and couldn't find a way to fix yourself since you were never whole.

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