The word I couldn't say

He made so many mistakes but every time I looked into those big brown eyes I forgave him all over again.

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23. Depression

Depression isn’t always crying your mascara off in the shower and playing sad songs in bed.

Sometimes it’s not wanting to talk to anyone for days and other times it’s desperately needing to be around people.

Sometimes depression is having no appetite even though you haven’t eaten anything since yesterday and sometimes it’s eating everything you have in the fridge.

Depression isn’t your boyfriend holding you and telling you that it’s going to be okay.

It’s sitting across the table,

not eating,

having him ask you what’s wrong and knowing that you’re ruining his night because you can’t seem to snap out of it and just be happy.

It’s the frustrating feeling of desperately wanting to enjoy something and just fucking be normal for once.

It’s keeping things a secret from the people you love because you don’t want them to look at you like you’re broken.

No,

depression isn’t beautiful black and white images.

Depression is lonely and frustrating and mostly just fucking exhausting.

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