Interrogate Prodigy II: Prodigy is Stupid Enough to be Re-Captured

Due to demands made by Calista and Tomato and encouraged by Sparrow, I have resurrected this. I'm probably going to regret it. But have at it, ask me stuff and I will endeavor to answer to the best of my ability.

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4. Three: Prodigy and the Big Words (May, Annabeth, [squiggly]-Zella-[squiggly], Aqua, Rhapsody, Ravenish, Traya Ren, Lia is a Panda, Le Fox_

    During the time that Prodigy was asleep, no time had indeed passed for the other people in the room. (Of course, the readers of this might disagree, for they have experienced the frustration of being forced to wait a month for the next installment of Prodigy’s wit and wisdom, but bear with me here.) In fact, it seems that at the most convenient time - when Prodigy fell asleep - and in the most convenient place - the very counter in the pizza shop in which Prodigy was lounging - science bent itself to fit Prodigy’s needs. In fact, a hole in the space-time continuum opened up, allowing Prodigy to go right ahead and be idle for a week while the others in her presence barely even noticed her absence. 

    (Whether or not Prodigy is using the “space-time continuum” properly here is none of your concern.)

    “Okay,” Prodigy said, coming to. “What’d I miss?”

    Literally Raven shrugged. “I think that slobbery tomato moved a little bit.”

    “Sweet.”

    “Okay!” Raven said suddenly. “We literally only have a little bit of time left before the serum literally runs out-“

    “Like grows legs and runs out the door? Literally?”

    Raven ignored Prodigy. “-so rapid fire questions! Who’s next?”

    May spoke up. “Can I leave the stomach of the beast?”

    “No.”

    “Please?”

    “No,” Prodigy repeated. “Larry does not regurgitate. There’s only one way out and, let me tell you, you do NOT want to go that way. Next!”

    “What kind of pizza does Prodigy like?” Annabeth asked the person sitting next to her in a low, conspiratorial voice.

    “Buffalo chicken,” Prodigy replied. “Next!”

    “I’ve got one!” squiggly-Zella-squiggly said excitedly. “Who would win in a fight, a Mboscodictiosaur or Calista?”

    Prodigy paused. She looked at Calista. She looked at the Mboscodictiosaur. She looked at Calista again. She realized how concerning it was that a Mboscodictiosaur was confined in a small pizza shop. She realized she didn’t care about the well being of her captors. She looked at Calista again. “The Mboscodictiosaur.” Calista growled.

    “Can you please get this dragon off my foot?” Aqua spoke up. “It smells like fish.”

    “Oh, god, yes. I can smell it all the way over here. My Mboscodictiosaur will get it off for you,” Prodigy replied. As the oddly lumpy dinosaur lumbered over to get to work on its newest task, it abandoned the twenty-sided rubicks cube it was attempting to solve. Calista glared at it.

    While the dinosaur gnawed on the dragon and they fought in ridiculously slow motion, Aqua asked another question. “Do you think dreams are visions of what happened in a previous life?”

    Prodigy replied flatly, “Dear god, I hope not.”

    Rhapsody coughed politely from near the back. “Ahem,” she said. “Question uno: if you could own a unicorn, would you?”

    “Naturally. Not because I’d want to, like, ride it or anything, but because I could charge people to come see it. Also it could spear my numerous enemies.”

    “Okay, question numero two: do you think that zombies should be allowed to vote?”

    Prodigy considered this. “Well, seeing as they don’t have functional brains, I’m going to go with no. However, since we can’t ethically discriminate on the basis of intelligence, then I suppose that wouldn’t be the best basis for my argument. And, seeing that they used to be american citizens before death, then I guess that would make them citizens still. Therefore, I’ll say that, yes, they should be allowed to vote provided they can produce proof of citizenship before their untimely demise.”

    Rhapsody nodded sagely. “Okay, now if all good things inevitably come to an end, would you say that we are, in fact, living in a world where evil wins? And what does that mean? Does that mean that all stories, films, plays, and other forms of media deceive us into thinking that happy endings actually exist despite evil being destined to win before the battle even begins? Does that mean that we should kill off every single nice character in our stories to create a certain accuracy? Do you think that I might be going slightly overboard about this?”

    Gazing off into the distance for a grand total of 3.596 minutes, Prodigy came back with an answer. “I think,” she began slowly, “that, while true that all good things must end, that doesn’t mean that no happiness or good can exist in the meantime. For instance, take a romance novel like….. Erm……… ok, literally nothing is coming to mind. So imagine in a story, person A loves person B and they get together at the end of the book and they get married and live happily ever after. That is most likely going to be considered good. However, if we were to trace their lives all the way to their natural or unnatural end, then, say, person A dies, that means that the good they had did come to an end. Person B is now alone and sad. It doesn’t necessarily follow that person B would have wished that person A had died before they had all that time together just to save himself the unhappy ending. In fact, he or she is probably quite grateful for the years they had together. Therefore, I would say that happy endings do exist, just that they can’t last forever, but that is part of the beauty of it. Carpe diem, live while you’re young, don’t take life for granted, etc. 

    “Along with that, I would say, do go kill off all your nice characters for two reasons. One, killing characters is absurdly fun, and two, nice people are overrated. Let’s get some villains in here. In that same vein, I do think we are living in a world where the evil wins more often than not, but I think that eventually humanity will get its act together and the overwhelming amount of good that is made docile by the evils of the current society will finally get their wits about them and overcome it.” 

    Everyone blinked, as people are inclined to do. 

    “Okay, on that serious note,” Literally Raven said. “Can I bring your attention to the phrase ‘one of her trained monkeys’? What?”

    “Oh, yes, that,” Prodigy dismissed. “I was merely commenting on your trained monkeys. Surely you realized you had them? If not, you’re not a very good master.”

    Raven looked at the monkeys on either side of her in confusion. “Oh, yes… of course. Of course I knew I had trained monkeys. I mean, obviously. They’re my slaves.” Everyone was looking at her. “Carry on,” she said impatiently. Prodigy smiled. 

    “I have a question,” Traya Ren said. “Favorite character pairing?”

    “Ooh,” Prodigy breathed. “That’s a hard one. I’m gonna have to go with Destiel because… just… destiel. Like come on. Close seconds are Johnlock and PatroclusxAchilles.” 

    “Have you seen the new Star Wars movie?”

    “I have,” Prodigy answered. 

    “Who is your favorite Star Trek character?”

    Without hesitation, Prodigy said, “Spock.”

    “Who is your favorite Star Wars character?”

    “Well, until the new movie - and I might be the only person to say this ever - it was Jar Jar Binks. I don’t know why. I hadn’t seen the older movies since I was really young and I just liked him. I think his hate is deserved, though. Anyway, after the new movie, though, my favorite is clearly BB-8, although Poe is pretty cool. They make a good pairing.”

    “And out of those two, who would win in a battle?” Traya asked. 

    “Spock, of course. I mean I love the little robot and all, but Spock could dismantle him.”

    Tray brandished the hilt of her light saber and smiled sinisterly. “Out of the people here, who would be more likely to give you pizza?”

    Prodigy scowled. “More likely than whom? Most likely, I’d have to say DragonSoulJess. Don’t let me down, Jess,” Prodigy said with a pointed look in her direction. 

    Jess gave her a thumbs up. “I got you, Prodigy.”

    “Okay, next!”

    “Favorite type of cat???” Lia asked with no preamble. Prodigy looked over at the panda casually lounging at the table. 

    “Hm… I’m a fan of those ones that faint when they get surprised? Have you seen those videos? I need to get me one of those.”

    Lia continued, “Did you know that it has been scientifically proven that being in possession of a cat makes you happier AND you get better health?” she asked, then added very very quietly, “hehe.”

    “I was not aware,” Prodigy answered. “Still like dogs though.”

    Before Lia could reply with some cat-centric comment, Le Fox spoke up. “What happens after death?”

    “Well, I suppose that no one can know for sure, but I believe we just cease to exist. I don’t think we have souls, so our bodies just stop functioning and they decompose. Then the world goes on.”

    “What’s your favorite chocolate?” 

    “Any type of dark chocolate, probably. Lindt brand is particularly good,” Prodigy answered. 

    Le Fox continued, “In the event that you for some reason parachuted to Australia aka down under, what would you do?”

    Prodigy replied, “Well, I suppose I would get some food, because that’s the best part of traveling. And then I’d try to find a kangaroo. Or an armadillo. And pet it, preferably.”

    “Favorite element?”

    “Rubidium.”

    “Do you like golf?”

    Prodigy shook her head. “While I believe that most sports are boring, I think that golf is perhaps the most boring of them all. That’s even above shuffleboard and curling.” 

    Le Fox accepted this without comment. “What’s your favorite type of flower?”

    “I’m quite a fan of orchids. All the other flowers grow the ground or on bushes or on trees, but orchids grow, like, on trees. Like, in the rainforest they grow in the canopies, which I think is cool. It’s like screw you to the grounded flower world, I’m just gonna grow up in the air, see ya.” 

    “Ok, last question. “Ever been to a chippy?”

    “Um…. I don’t know what that is. So I’m going to go with nes.” 

    “Alright, then.”

    “Alright then.” Prodigy looked around. “Who’s next?”

 

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