Interrogate Prodigy II: Prodigy is Stupid Enough to be Re-Captured

Due to demands made by Calista and Tomato and encouraged by Sparrow, I have resurrected this. I'm probably going to regret it. But have at it, ask me stuff and I will endeavor to answer to the best of my ability.

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2. One: Prodigy is an idiot (Le Fox Noel, Galaxy Kitty, Annabeth Fett, Sestra, Cangku Shisan and Mirlotta)

 

    “Well, well, well, if it literally isn’t Raven,” Prodigy spat. She was tied to a chair again, through no fault of her own, of course. Literally Raven grinned triumphantly. 

    Here’s what happened. 

    Prodigy was sitting at home one night, minding her own business when she got an inexplicable hunger for some pizza, as she did every Tuesday at 5:30 precisely. Now, Prodigy had been rather lazy that day, so she figured she might as well go out and get some. On her way to the pizza place, Prodigy was confronted by a man who looked suspiciously like Donald Trump. He was spewing nonsense, something about someone after her, then thrust a rubber chicken in her hands and took off. (He ran into the street and was hit by a bus, but that’s not the point here. It’s more of a side thing to snicker about.) 

    Standing on the street, Prodigy looked down at the chicken in her hands. This was an interesting turn of events, but not one which got her any pizza, and, therefore, not one she needed to concern herself with. Prodigy tossed the chicken in the dumpster and went on her way. 

    Prodigy thought the nearest pizza place was called Rivera Pizzeria, but Rivera was crossed out and, in its place, was written “Raven’s” in large red dripping letters. Prodigy shrugged. Pizza was pizza. She pushed open the door to the shop and it instantly slammed shut behind her. The lights went off and Prodigy froze. 

     In the center of the darkened room sat a darkened form in the dark. Creepy music played. Then, the lights went up and the darken form was revealed to be-

    “Well, well, well,” Prodigy spat. “If it literally isn’t Raven.”

    Raven laughed. “Well, well, well, if it literally isn’t deja vu.”

    Prodigy was tackled to the ground by some unknown figures and her hands were tied behind her back with super-strong string cheese. Forced to sit on the counter in front of the brick oven, Prodigy looked out over the people gathered in the restaurant. 

    “You know, I like this setting more than the last one,” she said idly. 

    “Me too,” Raven said, pulling over a box of pizza. 

    “Ooh, can I have a slice?” 

    “You can have a slice… OF VERITASERUM,” Raven cackled dramatically as someone injected something into Prodigy’s arm. 

    Prodigy scowled. “That doesn’t even make sense.”

    “Was that you or the veritaserum talking?” Raven asked. 

    “Both,” Prodigy answered. “How did you find me, anyway?”

    Raven grinned a dark smile. She snapped her fingers and the door to the kitchen opened, seemingly of it’s own accord. Prodigy couldn’t see past the edge of the counter, but she could hear the familiar jingle of metal. When the dog rounded the edge of the counter to sit by Raven’s feet, Prodigy’s worst fears were confirmed. She drew in a sharp, shocked breath and stared in shock while exclaiming, shocked, “Calista! You corrupted my dog?” she demanded of Raven.

    Raven grinned. “Calista works for us now.”

    Prodigy glared at her. “You’ll pay for this. You’ll both pay.”
    “This is for turning me into a… a…” Raven shuddered. “One of those things with wings that taste really good all fried up.”

    “A chick-“ Prodigy began. 

    “DON’T SAY IT!”
    Prodigy blinked. “Okayyyy.”

    Raven looked out over the room. “Begin the torture.”

    Le Fox Noel was first. She took a bite of pizza, the warm gooey cheese sliding over that delectable sauce. Prodigy glared. She put her pizza down, wiped her fingers on a napkin and said, “What is the meaning of life?”

    “42,” Prodigy replied without hesitation. 

    “Very good, very good. Do potatoes pose a threat to our society?”

    “Undoubtedly.”

    Le Fox Noel waited. “Elaborate,” she prompted. 

    “Well, you see, potatoes are, arguably, one of the most delicious tasting forms of starch out there, and the Irish know this. They’ve been refining the secret potato genes in laboratories for years, and some day they’re going to release these new hyper-delicious potatoes into the mainstream potato market, and no one will be able to resist buying them, eating them, and then the market will be controlled by the Irish, thus spelling the destruction of our economy. It’s all part of their master plan. I shouldn’t have told you that,” Prodigy frowned. 

    With a wicked laugh, Le Fox Noel grinned.  “Good. Last question, can you name a color that doesn’t exist?”

    “Yes,” Prodigy answered. She shifted her glare to Raven. “The color Raven’s face turns when she says something smart.”

    Raven looked offended. “You little-“

    “Next question!” Prodigy cut her off.

    “What animal has three legs in the morning, three heads at night, and is normal in the afternoon?” Galaxy Kitty asked. She eyed Calista the dog warily, swishing her tail back and forth. 

    “Well, a Mboscodictiosaur, of course.”

    “That sounds fake, but okay. Why is there a silent letter in some words?”

    “Well, to throw people off, naturally. Like when you ask people to spell a Mboscodictiosaur, they always forget the ‘m’ at the beginning.”

    She looked confused. For a cat. “There’s an ‘m’ at the beginning?”

    “Um, duh? It’s a Mboscodictiosaur. The ‘m’ is silent, obviously.”

    Galaxy Kitty seemed to have a momentary existential crisis. “Why am I asking questions?” she asked with an edge of desperation. 

    “I don’t know? Because you’re bored? Because Raven forced you into it? Because you want me to answer them? Because there’s something in your life that you’re lacking and think it can be fulfilled by asking random questions of a random person like I? I don’t know.”

    “Ok, answer this then. Why am I insanely weird?”

    Prodigy blinked. “Well, I’d probably say because you’re a kitty that embodies the whole galaxy. I thought that was pretty obvious. Also you can talk, that’s pretty weird. Moving on!”

    “Ooh, ooh, I have one!” Raven shouted.

    Prodigy ignored her. “What, no one? No more questions? Well-“

    “Wait, I have a question!” Sparrow said. 

    Prodigy looked her way, but she had fallen asleep in the space of two seconds. “Er, anyone else?” she asked. Raven crossed her arms and pouted. 

    “How did the amazing Prodigy get recaptured?” Annabeth Fett asked. 

    Prodigy sighed. “My stomach has betrayed me again. Well, my stomach and my dog. I mostly blame the dog.”

    This seemed to satisfy her. “If you had to kill off one of your fictional characters, who would it be?”

    With a semi-maniacal laugh, Prodigy replied, “Cyrus. How fun would that be? The  emotional turmoil of everyone, particularly Hayden, then Johnathan trying to comfort him, then Levi watching as Hayden and Johnathan get closer…” Prodigy trailed off, her smile turning to a frown. “I’m a terrible person.”

    Sestra cleared her throat, speaking up. “What is your opinion of cats?” she asked, quite changing the subject. 

    “Well, I’m more of a dog person, to be honest. I think cats are arrogant and very nearly useless. They’re cute in concept, but they’re more like a roommate then a friend.”

    Sestra considered Prodigy for a moment. “Yep, you’re a terrible person.”

    “What’s your favorite color?” Chloe asked, trying to lighten the mood. 

    “Gray.”

    It didn’t work. 

    “Do you like fish?” Cangku Shisan asked. 

    Prodigy considered. “I like to eat some of them, mostly salmon. As for alive ones, they’re sometimes gross, but can be pretty cool.”

    Mirlotta cleared her throat. “Excuse me, I have a question.”

    “I’m certain I don’t have a helpful answer, but shoot.”

    “How do you pronounce the word ‘gi-‘ um… er…. g-i-f-s without initiating a full scale war?” 

    Prodigy shrugged. “You don’t. War is inevitable. I mean, I’m sure you could say graphics interchange format files, but that’s kind of tedious. I just say gifs as in jifs and call it a day. Everyone needs a little war now and again.” She looked around. “Can I get some pizza now?”

 

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