Why Star Wars Is Better Than Harry Potter

We may not have a lightning scar or a geeky hero, but we have stuff even better. Why Star Wars is better than Harry Potter. Any Potterheads who might take offense to this, you've been warned.


32. Sidious vs. Voldemort

Voldemort: I really don't get what's so special about you. You're just an old man with an uneven voice who can hardly walk. You know nothing of magic and always go around in black rags. And your army's inability to aim makes me sick.

Sidious: I really don't get what's so special about you. You're just a bald, skinny freak obsessed with a teenage celebrity, and you can't even regrow your own nose. You have no nose which prompts people to laugh at you, and your voice sounds like you're whispering loudly through your nose. Too bad your family can't afford a hair job...

Voldemort: Guess what? No one is afraid to say your name.

Sidious: Oh yeah? Well, I've got something you don't.

Voldemort: What's that? A cane? Cause I've got something even better--a wand!

Sidious: I was going to say I have a nose. I've even got a poem about me.

I'm an awesome Sith with brains so fine,

This whole galaxy is mine.

I killed Mace and Kit Fisto,

I can cut your stick like dough.

Vader is my dark side friend,

He served me until the end.

He saved me from Luke's green glitches.

The stormtroopers are my bitches.

Where's your army, noseless freak?

Don't tell me it's those masked freaks.

This is power you ain't seen,

What's with your stick glowing green?

Voldemort: Yeah? My turn.

Roses are red,

Violets are blue.

Avada Kedavra!

I respect you.

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